Hello ladies, I've been lurking for a while, and I have a situation I thought you might be able to help me graciously resolve. My best friend just got engaged, and about thirty seconds after it finally sunk in (aka literally five minutes after she said yes), she told us to prepare for a destination wedding in Costa Rica. My heart sunk, but I figured it would be a transient plan since she's never mentioned wanting a wedding there before, and since her plans tend to change frequently and on a whim.
However, it's been awhile now and she hasn't wavered, and it seems like this is something she is really planning on doing. I am ridiculously happy for her, but there is no way I can make a DW work. I am struggling with finances as it is, and I am planning on getting into a 15 month intensive nursing/NP program in the spring. The programs I am looking into are fifteen months straight, you can't work and you are on call 24/7 for internships and clinicals in addition to studying to pass the constant and necessary exams. So on top of not having any available finances to pay for a trip, I absolutely cannot leave for a week for a destination wedding. I want to tell her that I can't make it since I know she is counting on me to be there as a VIP, but I don't want to guilt her into changing her plans so that I can attend. She's not great with etiquette, so I don't think checking with her VIPs first even occurred to her. I also don't want to guilt her into trying to budget me into her planning so she can pay to fly me out there (which is definitely something she would try to do). Even if I could get away for a weekend, I just don't think it would be financially feasible to spend 18 hours in flights to be there for less than a day before turning back.
My question is, how can I bring this up to her without having her feel guilty about her wedding? I am so excited about her getting married, and I want nothing else then to share this moment with her, but it's just looking very dim and it's really stressing me out. Another complication: she hasn't chosen a date yet, and this wedding could be in the next 1-2 years, however, either way it will probably be right in the middle of the program I'm entering into and I will undoubtedly be financially destitute since I will not be able to work for this time period.
ETA: Holy crap, I've been lurking for awhile and I always see posts about how TK hates paragraphs, but now I feel your pain. Trying to get his post into paragraphs has been a nightmare. Shame on you, TK.