.

gothic_fairy60

I may be the odd one out but I don't think parents should get a gift just because I am getting married. I love my parents and they know this without gifts. Plus, I am sure they have appreciated some of their birthday presents more than any picture of us on our wedding day. That being said, we are giving a Thank You gift to anyone who has financially helped us with the wedding. My dad gave $275 and is sentimental so I know he is going to love the picture frame with a pic of me and him dancing in it. FI's parents are paying for rehearsal dinner and catering, and they are getting a gift card to a restaurant that they love but don't often indulge on. My aunt, who is a DJ, is running the equipment for us day of. Since this is normally paid for and she is traveling we gave her the gas money to travel, but will also be giving her a gift card top a local restaurant that she loves but does not have in her home state. It's not about how much we love any of them, its about appreciating the fact that they did not have to do what they are doing. If OP is buying to show love for parents, she should also buy for FI's parents. If it is simply a thank you for contributing, that's different. Edited: I had paragraphs, I swear!

jacques27

I probably never would have clicked on this if the subject wasn't "."

On the subject of . I think it's weird to buy a gift for the parent and basing it off the financial contribution.  Mostly because it's like they are buying their own gift.  If she wasn't giving you money for the wedding, your money would be paying for that instead and not available to spend on a gift for her...so by her funding the wedding, she's subsidizing her own gift. 

Just write a hearty thank you letter and do her a favor by cutting down expenses to relieve her financial burden.

ohannabelle

I think all moms should get See's truffles! Hell, yes. It should be the new etiquette rule. 

Simply Fated

OP, if you're still here lurking, please stop putting stress, especially financial stress, on your lovely and devoted mother. Whatever funds you plan on using for the heartfelt gift, just use the money to pay her back, instead.

lc07

Do people really think we are not capable of clicking on a period? I mean, I can do it on mobile with my eyes crossed.

Maggie0829

gothic_fairy60 said:

I may be the odd one out but I don't think parents should get a gift just because I am getting married. I love my parents and they know this without gifts. Plus, I am sure they have appreciated some of their birthday presents more than any picture of us on our wedding day. That being said, we are giving a Thank You gift to anyone who has financially helped us with the wedding. My dad gave $275 and is sentimental so I know he is going to love the picture frame with a pic of me and him dancing in it. FI's parents are paying for rehearsal dinner and catering, and they are getting a gift card to a restaurant that they love but don't often indulge on. My aunt, who is a DJ, is running the equipment for us day of. Since this is normally paid for and she is traveling we gave her the gas money to travel, but will also be giving her a gift card top a local restaurant that she loves but does not have in her home state. It's not about how much we love any of them, its about appreciating the fact that they did not have to do what they are doing. If OP is buying to show love for parents, she should also buy for FI's parents. If it is simply a thank you for contributing, that's different. Edited: I had paragraphs, I swear!

No you are not the only one who feels this way. I think the whole "giving gifts" has gotten ridiculously out of control. I really don't get why everyone under the sun needs a gift. I understand getting your wedding party a gift because they are a part of the actual wedding ceremony. Your parents? Not so much. Well that is unless you have your Mom as a MOH or something like that.

If you want to buy gifts for the parents just because, cool.  But I think the wedding industry is making it out that it is a requirement.  And as you can see from CMGrs post, the most thoughtful "gift" is typically a huge hug and a thank you.

FYI my parents paid for our wedding and I didn't get them a gift.  We didn't get H's parents a gift either.  But we did give them all big hugs and lots of thank yous and I love yous.

kerbohl

Both sets of parents got a book of our wedding photos. We let them pick out their favourite photos and had them printed by our photographer. My parents gave us money for our wedding, my SO's parents didn't (at least at the time when we had agreed on what we were giving them - MIL ended up giving us some help later after we had already decided to give a gift to her). The gift didn't have anything to do with their contributions, or even for any help or support about the wedding. It's because they are our parents and we wanted to do something nice for them.

perdonami

My FMIL is the kindest lady I have ever met in my life. You always hear these horror stories in popular culture that MILs are these crazy demons that ruin married life for the bride. I am happy to say that I have not experienced any unkindess from her and feel so blessed she so warmly welcomed me into her family.

I just recently found out that not only is she paying for our reception but she also bought me an expensive set of Allclad cookware that I have been coveting for the past six years. She also bought a couple other few gifts to include which is beyond generous. 

However, what I am most grateful for is her warmth and support. She was the first person to successfully get me into my wedding dress. She offered to go shopping for a dress with me and help with any other planning I may need. She explained that she understands I don't have my own mother so whatever advice I need she is always available to talk. And I am so grateful for all of it. 

So, I want to get her a nice thank you gift but not sure what to do. I am not sure what would be appropriate to gift.