Favors

I have a kinda crazy idea for wedding favors

I was searching for menu styles online, and found one where it's in a book. This got me thinking... We make our own little books (using blurb or something). with the menu in the first few pages (appetizers on one, main course on the next, etc). The rest of the pages (probably at least 25) would be quotes, poems, very short stories that we really like, centered around love and life. Working title: "Food and Other Thoughts." On the front inner cover, I can write "For [guest's name]" and on the back inner cover we can have a "thank you!" I definitely want to personalize each menu. The nicest version would be hardcover, but that's so expensive, so we'll probably do paperback. It'd be about $3 per book, and I think there are discounts for bulk orders. FYI we're having about 50 guests, all close relatives and friends. What would be really cool is if in the RSVP cards, guests could tell me what their favorite poem/quote is and I could include that. not sure if that'd work out. I know this is SO extravagant. But I really like the idea. There's not a literary theme to our wedding, but both me and FI love writing (I'm minoring in creative writing and he's attempting to write a book)...I also love poems. Thoughts? Advice?
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Re: I have a kinda crazy idea for wedding favors

  • You really think people would throw away a custom-made book? That's absurd. I would NEVER do that. It's incredibly disrespectful and wasteful. I just don't think my guests would be that thoughtless and disinterested.
  • We're not having a traditional guest book. Still not sure what, but a way for the guests to write a brief message. 

    This would be the kind of think you put on your shelf and once in a blue moon, you see it and read a few pages. I love little books with poignant thoughts and poems. We have a few of them around the house, and every now and then, I read out of them. They're nice to have. It's not a photo book nor does it have really anything to do with us. Trust me, we aren't going to include annoying love quotes all over pinterest. And I know for a fact that 90% of my guests are big on reading, so this seems like something they might like. 
  • The idea is really cute and I think you should make one as a momento for yourselves. 

    But honestly, I think your guests will end up throwing these away. Maybe not the night of, but within a couple weeks. I don't mean that in a mean way, I just think it will happen. 
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    PrettyGirlLostchibiyuibahamabride2015
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I completely agree with PDKH. And OP you only think it would be disrespectful and wasteful because this is your wedding and everything you do for your wedding is meaningful to you. So yes, you couldn't imagine throwing it away because it is from your wedding but when you are just a guest you kind of don't care about random favors and have no problem tossing them in the trash if you have no idea what to do with it. And just because you love little books with random quotes and poems does not mean everyone else does.

    PrettyGirlLostMyrsjs4401hellohkb
  • Yeah, sorry, I have no use for a book of quotes that are meaningful to someone else, and we are HUGE readers. Our house is overflowing with books and we both own kindles. Again, go for it if you want; it's not like you'll know if your guests keep it or not. But I just think your guests would appreciate the money spent elsewhere - like an extra course, dessert, drink on the menu, etc.
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • I meant if someone gave me a personalized book from whatever event they had (or randomly), I wouldn't throw it away. 
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I would honestly be surprised if your guests even took them.  Since they will have your menu in them they will probably not even realize that they are supposed to be the favor.  I mean, whose favor includes their wedding menu?

    manateehuggeratlastmrsgchibiyuifwtx5815
  • I don't love the idea so much because it's MY wedding and I'm so self-absorbed I think everyone cares about my wedding as much as i do. I like it because it would mean a lot to me if someone did anything like this for me, and it's a good read. I love giving gifts and making things. And I really want to give my guests something different and thoughtful. I figured that people would enjoy a short little book (which would also be something to read during the reception) but apparently not...
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I don't love the idea so much because it's MY wedding and I'm so self-absorbed I think everyone cares about my wedding as much as i do. I like it because it would mean a lot to me if someone did anything like this for me, and it's a good read. I love giving gifts and making things. And I really want to give my guests something different and thoughtful. I figured that people would enjoy a short little book (which would also be something to read during the reception) but apparently not...
    But just because you would like it doesn't mean everyone else will.  Do you want to know what favors people really appreciate?  Food.  Give them chocolates or cookies or pretzels or whatever and they will appreciate the snack.

    And if I were to read at your reception then that means your wedding is boring and I have nothing better to do.  Sorry.

    PrettyGirlLostatlastmrsgfwtx5815
  • OP, can you maybe give this as a gift to your parents?  Or to your bridal / wedding party?  I just don't think it would go over well as a generic gift for a large group of people, sadly... 
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    chibiyui
  • I think it is a cool idea, but not for a wedding favor. As an anniversary or Mother's Day gift, a little book like this would be really sweet and thoughtful. As a favor? Too much, and I really don't want to keep your wedding menu.
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    PrettyGirlLostatlastmrsgchibiyui
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    If you want to spend money on favors, you can never go wrong with edible ones or a photo booth.

    The rest will probably be left behind or tossed once your guests get home.  Also, I have seen those guestbooks where you are supposed to write some kind of advice or whatnot. . . and I never do ><  I usually just sign my name and then move on into cocktail hour.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    FutureMsNguyen
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I would flip through it while sitting at the table, but I definitely wouldn't take it home. Sorry OP. If you are looking for a crowd pleaser, edible is generally best!
    atlastmrsg
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Nice idea in sentiment, but yeah, I would eventually throw it out. I had a book made for my husband for our first anniversary since paper is the first year. It was full of anecdotes and things from our relationship, and he loved it b/c it was person to US. But nobody else would be interested in it. I feel like this is kind of the same thing.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    manateehugger
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If you want to spend money on favors, you can never go wrong with edible ones or a photo booth.

    The rest will probably be left behind or tossed once your guests get home.  Also, I have seen those guestbooks where you are supposed to write some kind of advice or whatnot. . . and I never do ><  I usually just sign my name and then move on into cocktail hour.
    Same here.  I never know what to write so I either write my name or nothing at all.

  • JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    Agree with PPs. This sounds like a wonderful idea for an anniversary gift, or possibly for people for whom your wedding has extra meaning. I mean, I put quotes from music we used and readings we did in the photobooks we sent to our parents after the wedding. But as a guest, this would be something that I'd take home, put in a drawer and then eventually recycle or repurpose. Not to hurt you or because I am/was ungrateful, but because there are quotes and stories that are sentimental to me already.

    If you are really set on a book idea, I might consider something more practical, that might have some use for your guests, like a cookbook of your favorite or sentimental recipes. That might be something your guests would use again. However, if the book is not set in stone, I'd definitely consider a consumable favor.

    ETA: paragraphs
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    Anniversary


  • I absolutely HATE it when couples asks guests for marriage and life advice! (it's not like everyone has had a perfect love life anyway). I mean messages as in "Good luck!" "Lovely wedding" "I'm so happy for you." or just their names.
    PrettyGirlLostMaggie0829hpubride
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited July 2014
    Over the years, I've even thrown away my yearbooks. And those things are souvenirs of MY life. Having a souvenir like that just isn't of interest to me. It's not out of disrespect or anything like that, it's just not something that I want or need. I wouldn't mind pictures or even some nick-hacks, but I don't need a book, nor do I really have anywhere to store it. Maybe everyone you know for some reason places some sort of importance on items like that, but I find it very doubtful. Don't take offense to it, it's not something about you being a bad friend or a bad person, people just have different interests.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • jacques27jacques27 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments 5 Answers
    edited July 2014
    Harsh Truth:  I would toss it.  Not right away.  I'll thumb through it once during the first dance or while waiting for my salad.  I'll tell you to your face that I think it's wonderful or thoughtful or unique or interesting or sweet or whatever adjective it will take to convince you that I will cherish it forever so we can move on to another subject.  I'll take it back to my hotel room or my car when leaving the wedding to be polite.  And then I will do one of the following:

    1) Read it once, maybe, back in my hotel room assuming I don't pass out right away or didn't bring my kindle and then leave it in the room when I check out in the morning,
    2) Take it with me when checking out of the hotel, but leave it in the bottom of my overnight bag/suitcase where it will remain until I need the bag the next time and then I'll toss it while packing for the next trip,
    3) Leave it on the seat/floor or in the glove box of my car where I'll promptly forget about it until I clean my car out six months later and then toss it with whatever pop bottles and McDonald's wrappers also accumulated in my car, or
    4) Bring it home and keep it in a drawer (because I just donated my bookcase and all my books except cookbooks because I read nearly everything on my kindle) out of guilt for a few months and then toss it the next time I clean out the drawer.

    I know this sounds harsh, but I'm not interested in keeping a collection of quotes and poems that you like or in remembering your wedding menu for all eternity.  And I just have enough..."stuff" in my life without accumulating more - it's kind of the literary equivalent of a knickknack and I'm all knickknacked out.  Plus, the collection of quotes thing kind of smacks of high school yearbook (another thing I never cracked open once I left high school) or those Facebook posts where people post song lyrics to seem all deep and meaningful and convey their innermost feelings instead of using their own words.

    What about saving the quotes or stories for other things (and then thank me with chocolate)?  Use a quote on your invitations or save the dates (though I'm kind of anti-save the date).  Or on your escort cards.  Put a poem on your program if you're having one.  Have a reading in your ceremony of a short story or poem.  Make your table number markers each with a different quote or incorporate it into your centerpieces.
    JennyColadasouthernbelle0915[Deleted User]hellohkb
  • I would probably keep it because I would feel bad about throwing it away, but I doubt I would read it more than once.  DH would trash it the first chance he got. He throws away the photo Christmas cards his own sister sends us. His sentimental meter is set at about -5.
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  • If you love this idea, do it for yourself and put it in your wedding momento box.  I probably wouldn't take this with me.  I can't eat it or use it up, so it's just more crap to cram into a downtown loft that is short on storage space.  I'm not going to take it out or use it or even look at it ever again.  I'm happy for friends getting married, but I do not ever want their wedding specific junk--koozies, monogrammed anything, photo of them, etc.  Or trinkets/knickknacks.  I want to go home, eat the favor/drink it, and throw away the packaging.  My favorite favor: an open bar and great food.  Now that's something I remember.
  • csuavecsuave member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    Menu: A way to communicate the meal.  People will pick it up and read it while at their table so why not throw in some quotes and other fun things to read at the same time.

    Favor: Done en masse as a thank you to guests.  As we all know you can't please everyone with what you choose for a favor but hopefully a lot of people get enjoyment out of it.

    Gift: Selected specially for the recipient because you know it is something they will like.

    A menu is not a favor (unless it is made out of chocolate).  A favor is not a gift if you go by the definitions above. 

    For your favor you should go with something that you think a lot of people will enjoy.  It is possible a lot of people would enjoy the book (but not with a menu in it); you know your crowd and you seem to think this is a possibility.  And by making it more personal to that specific person they may actually feel like it is kind of nice like a gift. 

    But if each and every person is not someone that you would say to yourself, "yeah this person will love reading a quote book," then those people will not think of is as something nice to keep.  Those people will throw it out like they do with other non edible favors.  And yes, they will throw it out because unlike a generic quote book it is personalized and people will not want to donate it to a book sale or pass it on to someone else.
    JennyColadaFutureMsNguyen
  • Thoughts? Nobody will care about it as much as you do. Either it will get trashed or stored somewhere collecting dust because of guilt.

     Advice? Find a new favor. Print menus on regular menu card.
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    We're not having a traditional guest book. Still not sure what, but a way for the guests to write a brief message. 

    This would be the kind of think you put on your shelf and once in a blue moon, you see it and read a few pages. I love little books with poignant thoughts and poems. We have a few of them around the house, and every now and then, I read out of them. They're nice to have. It's not a photo book nor does it have really anything to do with us. Trust me, we aren't going to include annoying love quotes all over pinterest. And I know for a fact that 90% of my guests are big on reading, so this seems like something they might like. 
    I'm big on reading.  A gigantic bibliophile, actually.  I would not like this, nor would I put it on the shelf and pull it out to read every now and then, nor would I have a favorite quote or poem to send you.



  • One thing I just thought of is that unless the poem is really old or is the original work of you guest it is probably copyrighted. It is illegal to reprint copyrighted material without the permission of the entity that owns the copyright.
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    FutureMsNguyen
  • agreeing with other posters here...thats a really sweet IDEA but once i saw love poems i'd roll my eyes at it and leave it on the table. my husband would make fun of it. no offense, i was an english major/creative writing minor and love to read but it's a waste of resources and I'd hate to see how upset you would be when you see how many have been left behind or ask people about it down the road and get lied to. maybe make it as a gift to your husband?
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