Thank You Notes

Rmorris329

Hello, 

I am in the process of writing thank you notes to our wedding guests and am stuck on what to do about the people who did not give a gift. I would like to thank them for coming to the wedding, but don't want to sound like I am "fishing" for a gift. I honestly just want to say thank you for being there, but every way I write it, it sort of sounds like I am being rude. 

It is proper etiquette to send a thank you in this situation? 

MNVegas

You don't have to send a thank you card to people for their attendance. That is why you have a reception. I assume you thanked everyone in person at your reception. No need to do it again in writing.

southernbelle0915

Wedding thank you notes are for gifts. Sending one under these circumstances will be perceived exactly how you suspect - as though you're fishing for gifts. I assume you already thanked them for coming via a receiving line, table visits, a toast, etc. That is enough.

JoanE2012

Another vote for not sending a note. The reception was the thank you for attending.

SmileDamnit

I assume you greeted (received…chatted with…thanked…) all guests after your ceremony &/or at your reception, yes? Then you're good to go. Save the thank you notes for gift giving guests.

ETA I should've read responses as I just ditto'd @JoanE2012.

JeeGooDowster

This is going to be a very unpopular response.....while i agree with PPs that it looks gift-grabby, i think it really just depends on your guest. If they were local, i'd prob skip the thank you note (i'd still feel weird). If they jumped through hoops (flew in, took days off) to get to your wedding, i'd prob thank them for that and make sure you mention that in your note Most of my guests gave gifts so I didn't have a problem but for those that did not, they flew in, spent money on a hotel, took days off jsut to be there - and I was grateful for that and I could not go without making sure they knew i was grateful that they were there to celebrate. BTW, my sister ended up not writing thank you's to people who didn't give gifts for her wedding....those guests ended up complaining about it LOL.

novella1186

carynNchan said:

This is going to be a very unpopular response.....while i agree with PPs that it looks gift-grabby, i think it really just depends on your guest. If they were local, i'd prob skip the thank you note (i'd still feel weird). If they jumped through hoops (flew in, took days off) to get to your wedding, i'd prob thank them for that and make sure you mention that in your note Most of my guests gave gifts so I didn't have a problem but for those that did not, they flew in, spent money on a hotel, took days off jsut to be there - and I was grateful for that and I could not go without making sure they knew i was grateful that they were there to celebrate. BTW, my sister ended up not writing thank you's to people who didn't give gifts for her wedding....those guests ended up complaining about it LOL.

Totally agree with this. If they went through a ton of effort to get there, thank them for that. So it doesn't sound like you're fishing for a gift, simply specify "thank you for travelling so far" or something along those lines.