Wedding Woes

My mama's a catfisher.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
edited July 2014 in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,
For the past few months, my mom has been catfishing a guy online and I don’t know what to do. Earlier this year, I decided to give online dating a try and signed up for a free online dating site. My mom was very supportive and interested in me finding someone, and, unbeknownst to me, created a fake profile to scope out the site. I was perturbed when I found out, but I went along with it under the condition that she didn’t message anyone. She broke her promise and created an elaborate profile that mimicked my life (without using my name) and began talking to a few people. She ended up forming a friendship with one guy who was getting divorced who she felt sounded depressed. While pretending to be a 28-year-old woman, she offered him suggestions on how to fix his profile. I begged her to cut it off with him, but she hasn’t. In fact, she created several new profiles and pretended to be interested in him to help build his confidence. What really scares me is that he left a gift certificate for her to pick up at a local store, which I persuaded her not to use. I know this guy owns guns and I’m scared for her if he ever finds out she’s not who she’s pretending to be. She’s already seeing a psychiatrist for anxiety, so I don’t know what else I can do. My dad is aware of what she’s doing but he just brushes it off. Am I the crazy one for thinking this is a serious problem? My mom needs a new hobby, but she’s full of excuses for why she can’t work or volunteer somewhere because of her health.

—Dumbfounded Daughter

Re: My mama's a catfisher.

  • Dear Prudence,
    For the past few months, my mom has been catfishing a guy online and I don’t know what to do. Earlier this year, I decided to give online dating a try and signed up for a free online dating site. My mom was very supportive and interested in me finding someone, and, unbeknownst to me, created a fake profile to scope out the site. I was perturbed when I found out, but I went along with it under the condition that she didn’t message anyone. She broke her promise and created an elaborate profile that mimicked my life (without using my name) and began talking to a few people. She ended up forming a friendship with one guy who was getting divorced who she felt sounded depressed. While pretending to be a 28-year-old woman, she offered him suggestions on how to fix his profile. I begged her to cut it off with him, but she hasn’t. In fact, she created several new profiles and pretended to be interested in him to help build his confidence. What really scares me is that he left a gift certificate for her to pick up at a local store, which I persuaded her not to use. I know this guy owns guns and I’m scared for her if he ever finds out she’s not who she’s pretending to be. She’s already seeing a psychiatrist for anxiety, so I don’t know what else I can do. My dad is aware of what she’s doing but he just brushes it off. Am I the crazy one for thinking this is a serious problem? My mom needs a new hobby, but she’s full of excuses for why she can’t work or volunteer somewhere because of her health.

    —Dumbfounded Daughter

    UGH. I HATE people who think that owning a gun makes you a psychopath. 

    Let's rephrase " I know this guy owns a car/his fist/a baseball bat and I’m scared for her if he ever finds out she’s not who she’s pretending to be."

    This really grinds my gears.
    image
    AzAnniersbloom
  • Nev and Max would have a heyday with this one!

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  • Wow, I'm so sorry! That's a touchy situation. I would suggest telling her how you feel. Our parents are from a different generation and sometimes they just don't understand the internet. She might just need a sit-down explanation that these are strangers and you were always raised not to talk to strangers. Isn't it crazy how the tables turn over the years? I agree that just because this dude has a gun, doesn't mean he's a killer, but there's no harm in being safe and people get really pissed when they've been catfished.
    AuntFlomanateehuggermrsconn23
  • acr264 said:
    Wow, I'm so sorry! That's a touchy situation. I would suggest telling her how you feel. Our parents are from a different generation and sometimes they just don't understand the internet. She might just need a sit-down explanation that these are strangers and you were always raised not to talk to strangers. Isn't it crazy how the tables turn over the years? I agree that just because this dude has a gun, doesn't mean he's a killer, but there's no harm in being safe and people get really pissed when they've been catfished.
    LOL, gets me every time.
    mrsconn23AuntFlo
  • My mom tried to pick up waiters for me back in the day, whether I was with her or not...But yeah...She can't use a computer without cussing at it at least once every 5 min. So I'm not worried about MY mama catfishing. ;)
    Heffalump
  • Heffalump said:
    acr264 said:
    Wow, I'm so sorry! That's a touchy situation. I would suggest telling her how you feel. Our parents are from a different generation and sometimes they just don't understand the internet. She might just need a sit-down explanation that these are strangers and you were always raised not to talk to strangers. Isn't it crazy how the tables turn over the years? I agree that just because this dude has a gun, doesn't mean he's a killer, but there's no harm in being safe and people get really pissed when they've been catfished.
    LOL, gets me every time.
    she said she was new to the boards and all, but what she didn't have to tell us is that she doesn't have any reading comprehension skills. 
  • What this daughter doesn't understand is that catfishing can be a real fun hobby, as long as no one gets hurt or has guns (guns=murderers). 
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