Co-Ed Bridal Shower

perdonami

My aunt is hosting me a co-ed bridal shower this Sunday and she has shared some details with me that concern me a little. I have never been to a bridal shower before so I was wondering if this stuff was normal. 

We are going to have a head table.. and it is being held at a Wedgewood brand golf course. The shower is in the afternoon and there will be a catered lunch buffet with paid for soft drinks. My aunt will also be providing wine. There is also a partial cash bar for hard liquor or beer but we will be in a separate room where we can pull the curtain back to block the bar from view (I am actually really fucking pissed about this). It seems odd to me that alcohol is being considered at all since its an afternoon lunch and my aunt could save money by hosting a dry bridal shower.

My aunt said we needed to have a minimum of 30 guests for this venue catered lunch option. To me that sounds a bit too large for a bridal shower and I tried to explain that may not happen but she insisted that it will; we have 23 people who are attending. She has hand sewn table runners and everyone has assigned seating as in a place setting assigned to them at an assigned table. 

There will be two shower games: how well do you know the bride and groom where the guests with the most correct responses receives a gift. The other game is a movie trivia game (fiance works in the film industry and loves movies). I know most people don't like shower games but I think these two are harmless. 

I always thought that bridal showers were hosted at a family member's or bridesmaid's home and it was a casual gathering. To me it just feels like we are hosting a second reception as almost the entire guest list attending the wedding is also attending the bridal shower.  Maybe I am just having doubts and a bit of anxiety over all of this because I have never been one to enjoy being the center of attention and this seems all a bit much. 

southernbelle0915

Nothing about this sounds bad to me except the cash bar. Is there any way you could ask her to just serve wine and nix it? She's the hostess, after all, and it ultimately looks bad on her.

I've been to a couple of wedding and baby showers like this at country clubs. The only difference is that you have an assigned seat for the lunch and it's at a country club and not someone's house. At each of these, however, I found that the assigned seating meant that everyone pretty much found their seat immediately and sat there the whole time, not socializing except with the people at their table. That was literally the only draw back, which is a very minor one. 

You'll have fun! Don't worry about it.

Lauderdale Pink

Don't invite stress, there is enough of it that comes with wedding planning anyway.  Enjoy the shower as the gracious bride that you are and just try to help everybody enjoy the event.  You are way, way, way over thinking this.

photokitty

The cash bar is the only thing that I find odd. It might be the country club's main bar and therefore is always open during club hours. If this is the case it is out of your aunt's control and not rude at all. Unless she announces that guests who want liquor should buy it themselves in the adjacent room. 

Otherwise I would side eye other guests who felt the need to go purchase mixed drinks from the main bar at the club.

Don't stress, just enjoy the shower.

Jean0715

Cash bar is the only thing I find odd. My mother just hosted my bridal shower at a local golf course. It was easier than having everyone at her house. Relax, enjoy and be showered in gifts! 

perdonami

UPDATE:

So the bridal shower went really well! You guys were right to relax and just enjoy myself and so I did. However there was one moment where I thought I was being rude..

My fiance's aunt and uncle asked if, "it was okay for them to go buy a beer." I was kind of feeling dumb and muttered, "Sure, thats fine of course." What I feel like I should've said was, "of course, let me buy you one." Ah, but hindsight is 20/20.. I did feel kind of bad about it though. 

A few people who did RSVP did decline a day before to a few hours before and it put my aunt out a bit. There was a lot of food (better than not enough though!) and an entire empty table but really, it was no big deal. I just felt bad for her for doing all that hard work.

The other weird part of the evening was that my aunt demanded that me and my FI cut the cake together.. I was kind of protesting a bit as I felt this is not a time for a cake cutting ceremony but it seemed important to her. So, I quickly cut the cake into small servings and then handed the knife to the server. 

Overall, it did feel and look like a second reception but it was nice and fun. I told all my guests who had questions about the decor and seating that it was just a preview of the wedding so they could get a feel of how it will be. 

southernbelle0915

@perdonami - I'm glad it went well! I really wouldn't worry about the exchange with you aunt/uncle. My guess is that they probably asked you because, as hosts, they didn't want to just go and drink. It would have been nice if you had offered, but it doesn't sound like they were "fishing".

You can always buy them a nice bottle of wine and a card as a thank you for hosting.