The Attendants Dance with mismatched Attendants?

dragonavicious

I have 4 bridesmaids and my fiancee has 2 groomsmen. Originally (and still secretly) I wanted to do some kind of salsa type dance to "Into the Night" by Nickleback/Santana. My bridesmaids loved the idea and wanted us to choreograph a fun dance (we've done stuff like this before but none of us are professional dancers), however, I am not sure if we should plan on something big like this if it falls through at the end or comes off as poorly executed. What are some alternates to our original plan? How could the attendant dance work with only 4 on 2?

indianaalum

We didn't do it. Most people don't want to awkwardly dance wth people they don't know that well, IMO. ESPECIALLY if their date/husband/wife is not in the wedding party.

I would skip it!! nobody will miss it

Viczaesar

Please don't have a wedding party dance.  Nobody wants to watch that.

vsgal

Just skip the dance.  No one  wants to watch it and trying to choreograph something like that is going to do nothing but stress everyone out.

holyguacamole79

This is your wedding, not a dance recital.

manateehugger

BLECH. These are so fucking awkward to watch. Everyone is either nervous and awkward or drunk off their asses so as not to be nervous and awkward.

No dance required. If you want your wedding party introduced, do that, walk in, and then let them do what they want the rest of the night.

mysticl

I was at a wedding where the men in the wedding party did not dance.  So for the "wedding party" dance the bride and the bridesmaids just went out on the floor and danced to one of their favorite songs.  Nothing choreographed, they just went out an had fun.  

Jen4948

I wouldn't do any choreographed dances.  Wedding guests don't mind a few spotlight dances (couple's first dance, father/daughter, mother/son) but they mind having to be a captive audience during the reception for more than that, like choreographed dances by wedding party members. 

Also, some people may just not like being expected to dance with someone other than one's own SO or +1.  So I wouldn't push it.

dragonavicious

I did hate it when I had to do it for my sister's wedding. The guy I was paired up with was nice but it was very awkward. I wanted to do songs that fit my friend's personalities, so what do you guys think about me just picking out special songs and having the DJ devote it to my friends. Like for instance, my sister, best man, fiancee, and I all have an inside joke about "Everything I do, I do it for you" by Bryan Adams. I would like to do that for everyone. Does that seem good because then I am not monopolizing the dance floor but still honoring my companions? 

lyndausvi

skip the dance.  I didnt' have one. None of the guest cared and the WP members were ecstatic they didn't have to do one

One less thing to worry about.

ohannabelle

Have you ever seen the off Broadway show "Tony n Tina's Wedding?"

It's hilarious. Two hours of a shitshow tacky wedding where everything goes badly. Angry Grandma, Divorced Dad shows up with his date who's an out of control stripper, bridesmaids drunk or fighting with their boyfriends, crying Bride yelling at Groom, Mom screaming that it's time for the money dance, groomsman dealing drugs...

A good rule of thumb is, if Tony and Tina did it, it's a bad idea. 

Of course there's a choreographed dance. 

http://youtu.be/XTx8ejwQPoo

Because they're a bad idea. Your guests will smile politely, or go to the bar, but they're really cringing, and wishing that you hadn't. 

JoanE2012

dragonavicious said:

I did hate it when I had to do it for my sister's wedding. The guy I was paired up with was nice but it was very awkward. I wanted to do songs that fit my friend's personalities, so what do you guys think about me just picking out special songs and having the DJ devote it to my friends. Like for instance, my sister, best man, fiancee, and I all have an inside joke about "Everything I do, I do it for you" by Bryan Adams. I would like to do that for everyone. Does that seem good because then I am not monopolizing the dance floor but still honoring my companions? 

You honor your bridal party by having them stand up next to you.  No need for special dances, dedicated songs, etc.

southernbelle0915

Not a fan. I've been to two wedding that did this - all the guests hated it. Of course everyone was like "wow cool, good job" to the B&G and WP.....but yea. It was painful to watch.

Especially if you aren't professional dancers.. Don't start the night on an awkward note.

CMGragain

It is not nice to force a captive audience to watch an embarrassing and inappropriate dance performance.

Simply Fated

dragonavicious said:

I have 4 bridesmaids and my fiancee has 2 groomsmen. Originally (and still secretly) I wanted to do some kind of salsa type dance to "Into the Night" by Nickleback/Santana. My bridesmaids loved the idea and wanted us to choreograph a fun dance (we've done stuff like this before but none of us are professional dancers), however, I am not sure if we should plan on something big like this if it falls through at the end or comes off as poorly executed.

What are some alternates to our original plan? How could the attendant dance work with only 4 on 2?

You said the bridesmaids loved the idea, but do the groomsmen?
You could just have the dj or band play salsa for everyone to dance to. You and your bridesmaids could perform a few steps without making people a captive audience.

jacques27

1. As a guest, it takes all my powers of politeness to sit through the first dance, the mother/son dance, the father/daughter dance as it is.  I usually watch for the first 20-30 seconds of each dance and then continue my socializing.  Please don't make your guests also sit through an attendant dance, even if you aren't have the parent/child dances.  Watching other people who are not currently performing in a Broadway musical dance isn't that fun, as sentimental as your first dance and all those others are for you.

2.  Unless your entire bridal party consists of the professional dancers from Dancing from the Stars, skip your choreographed dance.  I have seen a lot of them, and I've never thought "Wow, this is the most awesome thing ever."  Usually, I feel a great amount of discomfort and embarrassment, akin to how the first few audition episodes of American Idol make me feel when they show all the people who genuinely believe they are good enough to be on American Idol, only to have their hopes and dreams stomped on because the poor tone-deaf fools just don't realize how really awful their singing is.  It's just cringe-inducing.


As for your other plan of playing songs that fit their personalities - meh.  The reception is a thank you to your guests, not an homage to your bridal party.  It's obvious they already have "honored status" by the fact that you picked them to stand next to you and serve witness to you pledging your life to another human being.  It would seem weird and potentially awkward to just have a Bryan Adams ballad playing out of nowhere during a time when maybe the music didn't fit the mood, let alone 4-5 more songs.  I could maybe see doing the one song, the Bryan Adams thing as your last song of the night as a cheesy send-off inside joke sort of thing.  But otherwise, just write each of your attendants a heart-felt thank you note showing your appreciation for their friendship, don't try to make forced grand gestures.

Maggie0829

The absolute only time that I will not roll my eyes hardcore and internally vomit at a wedding party dance is if I am able to sit at my table and eat my dinner during it.  Trust me, I will still sit there and snicker and make quiet jokes about your dance to my H but at least I will have food in front of me so that I don't just have to stand there watching the awkwardness.

Liatris2010

The only time I've enjoyed watching a dance performance at a wedding was when professional dancers were hired to perform while dinner was being served.

If your BMs are excited about dancing to that particular song, request the DJ play it, but do not make it a must-watch for your guests or compel everyone in the wedding party to participate.

photokitty

In my family we maybe play the full song for the first dance. We play 90 seconds of the father/daughter and mother/son dance, once the photog has the pics we signal the DJ and fade it out. No one wants to sit through 10 mins spotlight dances, let alone 15 mins including a choreographed one. 

We do however LATE int he night do a "choreographed" dance that my siblings and I preformed in the city-wide talent show when we were 12 and under. It's a tradition and people expect it, but it's late in the evening and we don't clear the dance floor and make everyone watch us...also they've had enough to drink that they find it cute. And it was an award winning dance you guys! ;-p

Do your dance late in the night, then if it sucks no one will care bc they didn't have politely sit patiently watching it.

theartistformerlyknownas

Attendant dances are terrible.

It's fine to dedicate a song to your friends and get up and do whatever silly dance you want as long as the dance floor is open and everyone's free to go about their business.

smhubbel

I think some of the attendant dances are fun to watch that I have seen on youtube. 

Maybe if you did it further on in the night after the party has gotten started a little more and the drinks have been flowing for a while. Don't make it a super formal thing with all the other formal dances (first dance, father/daughter, etc), so then if it isn't completely perfect, it is more like you are all just having fun. 

If you have an uneven number of men and women, maybe you should just do it with your BMs. That way, the choreographing and practicing is also just girl time and bonding with them. Then in the end, if it doesn't completely work out, cut it from the plan with the DJ, and you just had an excuse to spend more time with your BMs. That is my opinion at least.