Invitation Wording-- Unique Situtation! HELP! :)

kristensaysido

So my parents are divorced, my dad later remarried and then divorced again just a year ago. My father is paying for the wedding along with the help of ex wife #2. My mother has no financial obligations towards the wedding, but is nonetheless helping me plan. Anyways my question is.. how in the world do I word the invitations? I feel that my mother would be upset if I listed my father and my stepmother, but not her. But I don't want to list her (without listing my stepmother) because she isn't hosting the wedding and that would be unfair to ex wife #2 who is helping pay. It's such a weird situation and I don't know how to word these invites. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated! NOTE: I still call ex wife #2 my stepmom even though technically she isn't. Sorry if that confused anyone.

CMGragain

You have two options:

Ms. Jane Bridesmother
Ms. Susan Stepmother
Mr. John Bridesfather
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
to
Mr. Groom's Full Name
Day, date
time o'clock
Venue
Address
City, State

Reception to follow

or

Together with their families
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
request the pleasure of your company
as they are united in marriage
(etc.)

Of course, if you are having a church wedding, you "request the honour of your presence".

Jen4948

This isn't a "unique situation."  Many people with stepparents as well as parents marry.

The people "honored" by an invitation are neither the hosts nor the couple, but the guests.

Also, "hosting" a wedding does not equal paying for it.  Hosting is determined by who the "point persons" of the wedding are: that is, the persons who issue the invitations, receive the replies, greet the guests at the wedding, and make the arrangements that see to it that their needs are met.  They are also the persons at the wedding whom guests ask questions and make requests of. If one set of parents is doing these things and the others are not, the others are not hosts and are thus not listed on the invitation.  But those persons providing the funding are not listed on the invitation if they are not doing these things, because they are not "hosts."  Also, who's paying for what or contributing how much is none of the guests' business.

If you need to "honor" all the parents by listing them in something, the place to do that is on a program.  The invitation is not a "playbill," nor is its function to map out the family tree.

benaisy3

I like the idea of "together with their families" ...

CMGragain

kristensaysido said:

So my parents are divorced, my dad later remarried and then divorced again just a year ago. My father is paying for the wedding along with the help of ex wife #2. My mother has no financial obligations towards the wedding, but is nonetheless helping me plan. Anyways my question is.. how in the world do I word the invitations? I feel that my mother would be upset if I listed my father and my stepmother, but not her. But I don't want to list her (without listing my stepmother) because she isn't hosting the wedding and that would be unfair to ex wife #2 who is helping pay. It's such a weird situation and I don't know how to word these invites. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated! NOTE: I still call ex wife #2 my stepmom even though technically she isn't. Sorry if that confused anyone.

I interpret this as three people hosting the wedding.

kristensaysido

Well obviously I understand that tons of people with stepparents get married.  The problem is she is legally not my stepmother anymore, so that's why I thought it was unique.  I guess not. Thanks for your advice.

CMGragain

It really doesn't matter if she is related to you, or not.  If you consider her as one of the hosts of your wedding, she should be on the invitation.

I had an ex-step father when I was married, but I wasn't as lucky as you are.  He is an SOB, and wasn't invited.  I did invite one of my former step-sisters, though.  We are still friendly.  Haven't seen the SOB in 38 years, thank goodness.  His daughter doesn't speak to him, either.