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Wedding Woes

Wedding Guest Vent

edited August 2014 in Wedding Woes
I feel like I'm doing this wedding all wrong. A lot of people that originally planned on coming can't make it because life happens. I moved from Georgia to New York just after nursing school graduation, so most of our guests have to travel. The first major issue was the date. FI and I wanted a date earlier in the summer, but my parents, who are paying for it, wanted it to be later. Our date is August 23, which means school is already in session for our southern friends, so any guest with school age kids is out. I told my parents that and they didn't care. That's probably about 10 guests who couldn't make it based solely on the date. 

One of our friends lost his job about 2 months ago. He's been back at work for a few weeks now, but is trying to catch up from being out of work. Another friend got engaged to a woman and her 4 children, and can't afford to come up because he's taken on the father role of their family. One of my bridesmaids, who lives in California, has a drug addicted sister who is making herself physically ill, and she's had to travel to North Carolina where her family is more frequently than planned because of it. She was supposed to travel up and split the costs with one of our friends, but because she can't go, the friend doesn't want to/can't afford to travel alone. One of my friends had a routine surgery and ended up in kidney failure (she's ok now thankfully, but long recovery ahead). One of our friends is dealing with a divorce, and one with a breakup of a long term relationship that's draining them financially. We have 2 friends who are fulfilling military obligations that had originally planned on coming, in addition to my first cousin, his wife, and their daughter, who was supposed to be our flower girl. One friend just bought a house and every day discovers new problems with it and that's where all of her extra money is going, she was planning on coming up with her daughter and boyfriend. One got a promotion at work and they're not exactly nice about allowing for time off. While I'm completely understanding about everyone's circumstances, it just sucks because they mean a lot to me and I wanted them there on the happiest day of my life. 

When I moved up here in January, I figured it would give me enough time to figure out who I wanted to invite from my job up here. Well that job ended up being a bait and switch type of thing, so I started looking for something else. I didn't make any friends at that job anyway, they were like catty high school girls that talk crap about each other behind their backs and are BFFs to each other's faces. I started a new job on June 9 and instantly clicked with a bunch of the girls there. I extended an invite to them about a month before the wedding, but of course, the schedule was made already (I'm a nurse and hospitals are open 24/7!), so I had 2 friends who absolutely could not work it out, and 2 who are trying to get shifts covered. My timing sucks and I'm so mad about that. 

I guess I'm frustrated with how things worked out with the guests. I am torn between having this absolutely gorgeous wedding and missing a bunch of the people who mean a lot to me. I wish I could cancel it and push it back a year. While I am happy with my guests who can make it, there's just so many who said they could when save the dates when out, but circumstances changed between then and now. And I'm just frustrated with how the job thing worked out. Like, if I had started a month sooner, I would have met those awesome people before invites went out and they could have requested the days off. It's our one and only wedding and I wanted to share it with the people who mean the most to me, but most of them won't be there. It sucks. Just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks. 

ETA: Just to add, there was no way we could have done the wedding in Georgia because FI is a female and it's not legal in Georgia. Biggest reason we moved up north, we wanted our marriage to be legally recognized and want to start a family and the law/people are just not on our side there. 


Re: Wedding Guest Vent

  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2014
    I give you mad props for being completely reasonable here. It's totally valid to be disappointed. Sorry, that sucks. Wanna WW invasion? ;)

    ETA: punctuation apparently left my brain for a moment.
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Aw, it's sad but try not to dwell. 
  • It's ok to be disappointed.  But try to focus on those guest who could come and share your special day.  

  • I think it's legit for you to be disappointed, but you should try to focus on those who will be there to celebrate this awesome day with you. And I'm sure you'll have opportunities in the future to celebrate with your wife and those who couldn't make it. 

    Also, nurses are awesome and thank you for the work you do. 
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