I need to vent about my FMIL.

climbingsingle

And please - add your own vents! 

I love her. I really do. But sometimes she makes it hard to love her. 

She is overly concerned about my grey hair. Seriously. She's made comments to me in the past about how I should dye my hair for the wedding. This was actually my plan, but she didn't know that. I haven't dyed my hair in over 10 years. And honestly, the greys didn't bother me THAT much. But they're so noticeable since my hair is so dark, and I did want to get rid of them. 

I had a hair appointment yesterday. FI must have told her. Now I'm getting 35 questions this morning about how my hair looks. "How's your hair? Did she do a good job? Are all the greys gone? Did she cut it too? Does FI like it? Are you going to get it dyed again before the wedding? Did she do your trial?" 

I also had my first dress fitting this week. Now, FMIL was with me when I picked out the dress. She's seen it. She has 500 pictures of it on her phone. When the dress first came in in June, I went to the shop to see it and try it on again. Since I planned on losing more weight (and I did! Woo hoo!), they didn't want to do my first fitting until August. FMIL knows this. So literally, the dress looks EXACTLY the same as it did in June. 

The questions. "How did the dress look? Did you try it on with your shoes? You still like it, right? How did it fit? It is still too long? Did you take any more pictures? Did they do the bustle yet? Was the shop crowded? You remember they're closed on the 25th and 26th, right? When is your next fitting?" 

She's driving me bananas. I purposely don't share things with her so that she doesn't ask questions. But thanks to FI, some things slip through. I'm honestly a really private person and I hate being asked questions like this. Argh! 

beharrington

I have nothing to vent about because I haven't seen or spoke with MIL since our wedding day.  DH has only seen her twice.  It's been a blessedly MIL stress-free year!

ETA:  Sorry you're having MIL problems.  Breathe through it.  It could be worse, right?  She could move in....Just kidding.

ETA: "you're" not "your"

wandajune6

I love my FMIL but we have this little cultural divide issue that drives me crazy.

I'm marrying into a Mexican-American family where most of the folks adhere to pretty strict gender roles. We as a couple are much more flexible/egalitarian. So it drives me fucking crazy when she expects me to jump up and fix a plate of food for FI at every single family dinner.

She calls to my FSILs and I to cook, feed the men, and cleanup at every family event. Even when they're held at our house (where all family events on their side happen).

FI tells her that the guys can make their own plates. He tells her that he's taking care of the cleanup after the party and wants me to go have fun too. But she always tries to get the women to work during events.

She's incredibly sweet and helpful so I try to avoid making a big deal of it but it drives me crazy. FI tells me to just ignore it but I hate feeling like a slacker in my own home. When FI tries to help instead of me, she just sends him away.

But she's nothing but supportive about wedding planning, helps out with the dog when we travel, and feeds us the most delicious homemade Mexican delicacies we could ask for. Small price to pay.

climbingsingle

beharrington said:

I have nothing to vent about because I haven't seen or spoke with MIL since our wedding day.  DH has only seen her twice.  It's been a blessedly MIL stress-free year!

ETA:  Sorry you're having MIL problems.  Breathe through it.  It could be worse, right?  She could move in....Just kidding.

ETA: "you're" not "your"

Yes, it could be worse!! She lives in Florida and we're in NY, so there's a nice buffer zone. But she calls FI probably 5 times a day. She called him last night at 11pm after we were already in bed and sleeping. 

larrygaga

BLAH that sounds like my mom. So annoying.

My FMIL is amazing and I consider her like a second mom. I have know her forever and we are fairly close. However, she's a real bitch. Her daughters keep getting married so before I could even say anything about our wedding, she tells me that my wedding doesn't matter and she doesn't even care about it.

WTF. It's your sons wedding! It's cool if you don't want to talk about the plans or anything, but to tell me that you don't think your son's wedding matters? It matters to him!

I think she was just saying things out of anger and bitchiness. She has no filter. Since then she has been pretty interested in it and even offered to help pay for some of it. Soooo.....

climbingsingle

larrygaga said:

BLAH that sounds like my mom. So annoying.

My FMIL is amazing and I consider her like a second mom. I have know her forever and we are fairly close. However, she's a real bitch. Her daughters keep getting married so before I could even say anything about our wedding, she tells me that my wedding doesn't matter and she doesn't even care about it.

WTF. It's your sons wedding! It's cool if you don't want to talk about the plans or anything, but to tell me that you don't think your son's wedding matters? It matters to him!

I think she was just saying things out of anger and bitchiness. She has no filter. Since then she has been pretty interested in it and even offered to help pay for some of it. Soooo.....

What?! That is crazy! 

southernbelle0915

My MIL is the bees knees for the most part.

But they come from a super traditional family structure where women serve a certain role - cleaning, cooking, looking "presentable" and keeping the peace. They recently stayed with us for 2 weeks (yes, I survived) and she spent the ENTIRE trip following him around picking up his messes and "freshening up". My family doesn't look at gender that way - everyone has the same rules. 

FIL offered to make breakfast in our kitchen one day. He's cooking, not just consuming. Great, right? After breakfast, he just left everything in the kitchen - counters crumby and dirty, dishes everywhere, scortched pans, shit on the floor, trash in the sink... Didn't say anything to anyone, just bounced to go read the paper. I'm standing just staring at this tornado mess and MIL came in and was like "Oh, isn't Mr. FILFirstName funny? Just like a kid... Well, we better get started." and starts cleaning up. I'm like "We? Sorry lady, this is your husband's mess. If you want to clean it up, fine. Otherwise, I'm going to let him know he left a few things in the kitchen..." 

sarahufl

My MIL is generally nice and I usually like her. But she says DUMB STUFF all the time. Our wedding planning drove me up the wall.

She is one of those people who just asks you the same questions over and over until you agree to it. At our wedding, she was insisting that we take photos on the altar at church. I kept telling her we didn't want to- the church is 70s "modern" architecture and our reception venue was this gorgeous plantation and we wanted our photos there. But she asked us about it so many times I just agreed and we snapped a few.

We had a table FULL of desserts - cookies, petit fours, 3 different types of cupcakes, and a very small cake that I only got because I wanted to use a cake topper that 4 generations of my family has used. She pulled my mother aside AT THE RECEPTION and asked where the cake was. My mom pointed to the table and said that it was full of desserts. She actually told my mom that a wedding isn't complete without a cake and that SOMEONE SHOULD GO GET ONE.

My mom looked at her and said- Sarah and Mike have been planning this wedding for months. This is what they wanted. There is more than enough for everyone, we are not buying a cake.

But seriously, woman AT THE RECEPTION? Was my mom supposed to leave, go get a cake, and come back? You mean we can't celebrate without a cake but my mother is expendable?

climbingsingle

sarahufl said:

My MIL is generally nice and I usually like her. But she says DUMB STUFF all the time. Our wedding planning drove me up the wall.

She is one of those people who just asks you the same questions over and over until you agree to it. At our wedding, she was insisting that we take photos on the altar at church. I kept telling her we didn't want to- the church is 70s "modern" architecture and our reception venue was this gorgeous plantation and we wanted our photos there. But she asked us about it so many times I just agreed and we snapped a few.

We had a table FULL of desserts - cookies, petit fours, 3 different types of cupcakes, and a very small cake that I only got because I wanted to use a cake topper that 4 generations of my family has used. She pulled my mother aside AT THE RECEPTION and asked where the cake was. My mom pointed to the table and said that it was full of desserts. She actually told my mom that a wedding isn't complete without a cake and that SOMEONE SHOULD GO GET ONE.

My mom looked at her and said- Sarah and Mike have been planning this wedding for months. This is what they wanted. There is more than enough for everyone, we are not buying a cake.

But seriously, woman AT THE RECEPTION? Was my mom supposed to leave, go get a cake, and come back? You mean we can't celebrate without a cake but my mother is expendable?

Good for your mom for saying something! My mom and FMIL have become really good friends, but my mom just goes along with everything FMIL says. It's kind of crazy. 

DanikaMarie0227

I feel like our parents are so un-involved when I read everybody's posts about their parents & in-laws. My mother hasn't asked me anything about the wedding at all really. She came dress shopping but that was about it. Part of me feels like saying "Hello. Mother. Aren't you supposed to care that I'm getting married?!" (She cares, she just doesn't want to impose, I know she loves me, it's fine. Just saying). 

Side note: I saw a woman with the most gorgeous grey hair (no joke, if I could rock grey hair like her, bring it on!) last week & she told me her mother is constantly telling her to dye it. Oh mothers. 

@wandajune6 - your story makes me laugh because I have an aunt who is like that (and there's nothing cultural about it). She drives my cousin's wife nuts, especially during football season when she wants to watch the game & my aunt insists that the women belong in the kitchen. Yeah, no. 

cupcait927

I won the lottery when it comes to my FMIL. She is seriously the nicest, sweetest woman I have ever met. She's always so positive and sweet, and tells me that I'm beautiful all the time (good ego boost for me!) and isn't intrusive in our lives at all. Very laid back, easy going and I'm so happy that FI takes after her so much.

FFIL on the other hand is another story. He's a good man that loves his family and is a good friend to those he meets but for the past 6 months, he's been pissing me off for a few reasons.

First, he's one of those people that doesn't always think before he speaks so he's constantly putting his foot in his mouth. He used to talk about FI's ex (who he dated for 9 years, on and off, mostly on) all the time and after 2 years of dating, I was done hearing about. So FI said something to him and ever since, FFIL has been snarky with me and takes little jabs at me. It's gotten to the point where I don't like hanging out with his parents (which we used do ALL the time, because generally they're good people and we have fun with them) because I get uncomfortable being singled out. He started to bring up a story that involved FI's ex about a month ago and stops mid-sentence to say "oh but we can't talk about THAT anymore" with a serious attitude towards me. Of course this was after FI walked away so I did the uncomfortable laugh and said "oh no, it's okay, you can tell the story, I'm fine".

FFIL is also one of those people that just has to be contradictory. You say you're cold, he'll say that it's not cold outside. You say you like a beer, he'll say that he hates it. He's also a one-upper, which is obnoxious. And he's LOUD.

All in all I shouldn't complain because his parents do SO much for us and his mom really is so lovely but nonetheless, I'm seriously annoyed with FFIL lately. I have talked to FI about it and he's understanding.

ohmrs2014

wandajune6 said:

I love my FMIL but we have this little cultural divide issue that drives me crazy. I'm marrying into a Mexican-American family where most of the folks adhere to pretty strict gender roles. We as a couple are much more flexible/egalitarian. So it drives me fucking crazy when she expects me to jump up and fix a plate of food for FI at every single family dinner. She calls to my FSILs and I to cook, feed the men, and cleanup at every family event. Even when they're held at our house (where all family events on their side happen). FI tells her that the guys can make their own plates. He tells her that he's taking care of the cleanup after the party and wants me to go have fun too. But she always tries to get the women to work during events. She's incredibly sweet and helpful so I try to avoid making a big deal of it but it drives me crazy. FI tells me to just ignore it but I hate feeling like a slacker in my own home. When FI tries to help instead of me, she just sends him away. But she's nothing but supportive about wedding planning, helps out with the dog when we travel, and feeds us the most delicious homemade Mexican delicacies we could ask for. Small price to pay.

Same here.  I married into a Puerto Rican/Russian family and even though his mom is half and half, she identifies more with the PR side.  She is always so concerned about her son eating "Spanish rice" and fried foods and is always expecting me when we are over there for dinner for me to fix a plate for him as well.  DH is constantly telling her that he can make his own plates and that in terms of the cultural food, we are both eating clean to clean up our diets and she takes such offense to it, like the "white in me" is rubbing off on him.  At least his sister is on our side, she's a vegetarian who only shops at Whole Foods LOL.

And in terms of cleaning the house, she balks at the idea of him helping, even though FIL helps her clean LOL.

climbingsingle

I feel bad for bitching about FMIL now. She really is so nice to me. She tells me all the time how much she loves me, and how happy she is that FI and I are together. I really am lucky. Sometimes she annoys me. I guess I just had a moment.

emmaaa

That actually sounds like my mom! It drives me crazy sometimes. When we went to pick up my dress, I tried it on for my BMs (since it was just me and my mom when I picked it out) and before I walk our she says, "Do you still like it?" All I could think of is, "Why? Is there a reason I shouldn't? Does it look bad?" Haha. I'm sorry she is driving you bonkers, I feel your pain.

FMIL and I generally get along really well. There are times she takes advantage of FI and expects him to always drop what he's doing to come help her and FFIL. 

When we got engaged and set a date, she was really mad we weren't having a longer engagement. She says we're so young and we shouldn't rush into it. Hello, we've known each other since we were 5, been best friends through high school, started dating at 17, dated 5 years before we got engaged, lived together 2 years, and will be 24 when we get married! She was almost 30 when she got married and thinks we should wait that long too, uhmm no.

She also keeps lecturing me on when it is appropriate to have kids. Nope, it's my uterus, I'll have kids when we want. She keeps saying, "Wait until you're almost 30 to have kids! That way you can enjoy being married first." I get the idea of waiting for a little bit after you get married to have kids so it can just be me and H, but six years? No, we think we want to start TTC after we've been married one year.

We are also polar opposite when it comes to politics.

I do love her but some times I want to pull my hair out. I feel you!

wandajune6

southernbelle0915 said:

My MIL is the bees knees for the most part.

But they come from a super traditional family structure where women serve a certain role - cleaning, cooking, looking "presentable" and keeping the peace. They recently stayed with us for 2 weeks (yes, I survived) and she spent the ENTIRE trip following him around picking up his messes and "freshening up". My family doesn't look at gender that way - everyone has the same rules. 

FIL offered to make breakfast in our kitchen one day. He's cooking, not just consuming. Great, right? After breakfast, he just left everything in the kitchen - counters crumby and dirty, dishes everywhere, scortched pans, shit on the floor, trash in the sink... Didn't say anything to anyone, just bounced to go read the paper. I'm standing just staring at this tornado mess and MIL came in and was like "Oh, isn't Mr. FILFirstName funny? Just like a kid... Well, we better get started." and starts cleaning up. I'm like "We? Sorry lady, this is your husband's mess. If you want to clean it up, fine. Otherwise, I'm going to let him know he left a few things in the kitchen..." 

Sounds like my FMIL!

The whole thing is odd since I grew up in a family where my dad did most of the cooking and laundry and my mom handled the rest of the chores. Nothing was gender-specific and they were very equal. We're a bit more gendered in our household but only because of our preferred jobs-- he's a horrible cook so we're both much happier if I make dinner while he mows the lawn!

mysticl

Ah, MIL rants, I can add a few.

Things that are wrong about me:

My skin color.  We are the same race, even partially the same ethnic background but I don't tan. First time she met me she told DH (then BF) I was too pale.  

I buy the wrong dish soap.

I do not have enough stuff hanging on my walls.

I followed the recommendation of like every Pediatrician in the country and put my son on his back to sleep.  Apparently since neither DH nor I died of SIDS there is no validity to the research.  

I follow the law and put my son in a carseat.  For bonus points I follow the recommendations of the AAP and NHTSA and practice extended rear facing with said carseat.  Since her children didn't die in a car crash there is validity to this research (note they weren't in a car crash to survive).  

I am a liberal social worker

Other fun facts:

She volunteers at a church run food bank.  And then expresses nothing but contempt for the people who use the service.  

She believes every person on assistance is worthless and lazy and could get a job if they actually wanted one.  

She believes there are too many gay people on TV and same sex marriage should not be legalized……..her brother is gay and has been "out" for decades.  

I was mentioning how several vaccine preventable diseases are "back" and she started blaming the illegal immigrants.  I told her it was because American citizens refuse to vaccinate their children and listed some of the reasons why and included the "link" to Autism.  Her response was that had been disproven.  Yeah, well people still believe it.  

Oh, and for my son's first Christmas she tried to guilt trip me for going home for the first time in 2 years instead of spending it with her despite the fact we spent his first Thanksgiving with her. And in those two years I had seen my mom twice and I had see her 8 times.  

sarahufl

mysticl said:

Ah, MIL rants, I can add a few.

Things that are wrong about me:

My skin color.  We are the same race, even partially the same ethnic background but I don't tan. First time she met me she told DH (then BF) I was too pale.  

I buy the wrong dish soap.

I do not have enough stuff hanging on my walls.

I followed the recommendation of like every Pediatrician in the country and put my son on his back to sleep.  Apparently since neither DH nor I died of SIDS there is no validity to the research.  

I follow the law and put my son in a carseat.  For bonus points I follow the recommendations of the AAP and NHTSA and practice extended rear facing with said carseat.  Since her children didn't die in a car crash there is validity to this research (note they weren't in a car crash to survive).  

I am a liberal social worker

Other fun facts:

She volunteers at a church run food bank.  And then expresses nothing but contempt for the people who use the service.  

She believes every person on assistance is worthless and lazy and could get a job if they actually wanted one.  

She believes there are too many gay people on TV and same sex marriage should not be legalized……..her brother is gay and has been "out" for decades.  

I was mentioning how several vaccine preventable diseases are "back" and she started blaming the illegal immigrants.  I told her it was because American citizens refuse to vaccinate their children and listed some of the reasons why and included the "link" to Autism.  Her response was that had been disproven.  Yeah, well people still believe it.  

Oh, and for my son's first Christmas she tried to guilt trip me for going home for the first time in 2 years instead of spending it with her despite the fact we spent his first Thanksgiving with her. And in those two years I had seen my mom twice and I had see her 8 times. 

SITB:

Gosh, you sound terrible. I can see why MIL hates you.

Kidding, what a brat.

beachyone15

@ClimbingBrideNY It sounds like she's just really excited!!!

falsara

Sorry OP, sometimes our personal patience to deal with someone else's personality does not last very long. I know mine is about as long as "hello" most days

 Me and FMIL are on pretty good grounds.  When FI was still living at home (we both went to community college in our hometown and he lived with his parents and I lived with mine) she worked all the time.  She has her doctorate is nursing and is in charge of all the nurses in the OR department of the biggest hospital in Northern AZ.  So I never saw her much, since she was always so busy. 

She seems very happy about me and FI getting married, but we've never really spent much one on one time together.  Now that we live across the country I doubt that that's going to happen much.

The only thing that bugs me is her opinions about FI's chosen degree, and career field.  FMIL is always on his back about going into nursing, or something equally medical.  Back in AZ he was an EMT for almost a year, he doesn't want to do that in Chicago because its kind of dangerous and they don't pay them that well. FI is a standup comedian he goes to Open Mics all the time, gets great feedback from other comedians.  His mom does not support him in this even though he's still going to school for a regular degree that will get him a day job after he graduates.  She's tried to tell me to push him into the medical field "oh you should really encourage him to do something else, he just wont be successful, I don't think he should even be trying to do that 'clown stuff'"  No FMIL I refuse to say that to your son.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

My FMIL is insane.  She says the dumbest stuff all the time.

She likes me and we get along, and she accepts me into her family without question and with open arms.  I appreciate that.  However, we are totally different people.  She can do no wrong, knows everything about everything, and is more than willing to stick her nose where she shouldn't.  She also makes FI and I's business the town's business.  And I don't even live in that fuckin' town!  No one there knows me from Adam!!!

And the wedding it making me want to tear my hair out with her.  She's excited, yet she does not approve of a single decision she didn't think she came up with.

I hand delivered an invitation to her (I am cheap and wanted to save on stamps.) and she just fawns all over this thing:

"Oh, look, honey!  They used poppies!  You incorporated Nanna's poppies into your invite!"

Yeah, we didn't.  FI is a war-history enthusiast and we are getting married in November.  But that's cool it reminded you.  But now you think you told us that.  

She takes this invite all over town and shows people.  She showed her neighbors.  She showed her manicure lady the invite.  Why the hell would the manicure lady care?  I know you're happy for us but I feel really annoyed that strangers are aware of the wedding date, time, venue, and food choices.  It's kinda creepy.  Yeah, people tell people the info but for some reason it's more creepy if someone carries an invite around and flashes it like an FBI badge.

We chose our venue based on location, reviews, and the wonderful feel of the grounds.  FI and I sat down and had a discussion and put the deposit down.  FI tells FMIL and she starts BRAGGING how she told FI all about that place and it is PERFECT.  "I knew you'd love it!"  Ummm...you didn't tell me and I found the venue and FI honestly can't remember her saying that.  Coincidence?  Absolutely.  Annoying that she constantly thinks she deserves credit for finding the place?  For sure.

But those are just little things that arent really stress inducing, just eye-rolly.  She has however got into crazy arguments with FI and FI stands his ground like a champ.  He's never happy enough, sad enough, caring enough, or involved enough for anything she desires.

ETF:  Looks like my internet crapped out while posting.  Just wanted to add that she is fiercely protective of us when it comes to other family members as well, which I find touching.  She isn't all bad, just a bit of a scatterbrain....

Inkdancer

Y'all have heard me rant about my FMIL's bad behavior before. But now that the wedding is almost here she wants to talk constantly. It makes me crazy. She called me 5 times on Wednesday. And kept me at lunch with her for 2 hours yesterday. I am so ready for a break.

What really frustrates me is that I am super organized--I make lists with questions I have, then call her once and ask her all the questions at one time. She can't seem to do that. She calls the second she needs something, so she calls very frequently. I am done. DONE.

WinstonsGirl

@ClimbingBrideNY I totally know where you're coming from with the questions. DH's parents legally separated last summer and she ended up moving out here since 2 or her 3 kids are here, and now her first grand kid. She moved in with us for the first 3 months until she found a place. She's a wonderful MIL, and tries very hard to let us live our own lives, but it was tricky living together. It also doesn't help that BIL and his wife can be quite abrupt and sometimes disrespectful to her (they feel she pokes her nose into their lives way too much). Basically, she got married young and had her Husband around for the past 40+ years, is now trying to learn how to be independent and is getting a lot of flack from one of the 2 kids out here. Thankfully, she's got her own place now, though still calls DH for tech help. She's also getting more involved at the local Senior's centre, so I think she's finally adjusting better. ETA - Fucking TK ate my paragraphs

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

Inkdancer said:

Y'all have heard me rant about my FMIL's bad behavior before. But now that the wedding is almost here she wants to talk constantly. It makes me crazy. She called me 5 times on Wednesday. And kept me at lunch with her for 2 hours yesterday. I am so ready for a break.

What really frustrates me is that I am super organized--I make lists with questions I have, then call her once and ask her all the questions at one time. She can't seem to do that. She calls the second she needs something, so she calls very frequently. I am done. DONE.

FI's mother does this and I don't really get why.  She calls and leaves messages like "Hey, it's me, you don't have to call me back." But gets mad when you don't call her back!  And she never says what she wants in the voicemail so you are pretty much forced to call her back if you want to figure out what she wants, which is usually something like "Bread is on sale...did you know that?"  

YES WE DID BECAUSE WE READ FLYERS!

southernbelle0915

@goldchocobo - I laughed my way through your entire post. I know it's not funny, but the way you tell it makes it kind of funny... Your FMIL sounds histrionic.

morphemes

I don't have a MIL (or FMIL as BF and I are not engaged), but I just wanted to chime because grey hair runs in my family, so I totally feel you! I'm 25, but have a good number of grey hair mixed in with my brown. It doesn't both me at all, but my little sister has some too and it bothers her. I will probably end up dyeing it eventually, but it just doesn't bother me enough right now to commit to that. And BF actually likes them, so there's that. He just tells me that I have an old soul and this is my body's way of trying to match that (silly!). 

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

southernbelle0915 said:

@goldchocobo - I laughed my way through your entire post. I know it's not funny, but the way you tell it makes it kind of funny... Your FMIL sounds histrionic.

Oh yes.  She's a real peach.  She'd tell you she was a peach too, because peaches are perfect.

smalfrie19

I finally hit a dramatic snag with my inlaws this week and its been so emotionally draining its ridiculous.

My FMIL decided she was going to take something I wrote on FB (yes  this started with FB for gods sake) and txt my FI saying that I thought sailors in uniform were a hot date and how i didnt care about his feelings and how my "actions" made it hard for her to respect me.

What really happened: I was downtown with my mom and a couple sailors asked us for a ride back to their ship. I txt my FI when it happened. Then I posted about it on FB. 

She's off her rocker. 

oh and then my FSIL told me that I cared more about having a big party than the person and that I thought getting married was a "happy solution" to problems... ok sister...you have spent like ZERO time with us in the last two and a half years. You dont know jack shit. 

holyguacamole79

I have a very sweet MIL.  The only thing is that she is super hard of hearing and won't wear a hearing aid.  I have to repeat everything to her. 

My FIL drives me NUTS, though.  He complains about everything.  For example, we took them out to dinner recently.  The restaurant is a burger joint that specializes in unique burger toppings (SO yummy).  He looked at the menu and immediately started bitching that he just wanted a plain burger with mustard, tomato, lettuce and onion.  DH & I told him that he can order whatever he wants and they are really flexible.  FIL kept bitching until the waiter arrived and confirmed that, yes, he can have the burger he wanted.  He also complained because he thought that they didn't have his favorite beer (Shiner Bock).  Um, hello - this is a burger joint in Texas.  The beer list is 4 pages long, and there is a neon sign over the bar with the Shiner logo.  Once DH & I pointed out where Shiner was on the menu, he started bitching that the menu was too long and that he didn't care about the other random craft beers.

ugh.

mysticl

sarahufl said:

mysticl said:

Ah, MIL rants, I can add a few.

Things that are wrong about me:

My skin color.  We are the same race, even partially the same ethnic background but I don't tan. First time she met me she told DH (then BF) I was too pale.  

I buy the wrong dish soap.

I do not have enough stuff hanging on my walls.

I followed the recommendation of like every Pediatrician in the country and put my son on his back to sleep.  Apparently since neither DH nor I died of SIDS there is no validity to the research.  

I follow the law and put my son in a carseat.  For bonus points I follow the recommendations of the AAP and NHTSA and practice extended rear facing with said carseat.  Since her children didn't die in a car crash there is validity to this research (note they weren't in a car crash to survive).  

I am a liberal social worker

Other fun facts:

She volunteers at a church run food bank.  And then expresses nothing but contempt for the people who use the service.  

She believes every person on assistance is worthless and lazy and could get a job if they actually wanted one.  

She believes there are too many gay people on TV and same sex marriage should not be legalized……..her brother is gay and has been "out" for decades.  

I was mentioning how several vaccine preventable diseases are "back" and she started blaming the illegal immigrants.  I told her it was because American citizens refuse to vaccinate their children and listed some of the reasons why and included the "link" to Autism.  Her response was that had been disproven.  Yeah, well people still believe it.  

Oh, and for my son's first Christmas she tried to guilt trip me for going home for the first time in 2 years instead of spending it with her despite the fact we spent his first Thanksgiving with her. And in those two years I had seen my mom twice and I had see her 8 times. 

SITB:

Gosh, you sound terrible. I can see why MIL hates you.

Kidding, what a brat.

She actually tells me she loves me every time I talk to her.  Which makes me uncomfortable because I don't know how to respond.  She is just the most critical person in the world.  I have seen her criticize people she had never met.  

She criticized her son-in-law's employer for overnighting his Christmas bonus to him. That was a waste of money.  He works for a pharmaceutical company…..they have the money.  

We were in a bagel shop around Christmas (because oh, yeah, even though we spend the actual holiday with my family we still see her right before or right after) and they had this deal where you could buy a travel mug with the new year stamped on it.  You paid over $100 for the mug but then it was filled for free every time you went in.  They even had a chart up showing how much it would save you if you got coffee 3 times a week.  She starting criticizing the promotion and all the hypothetical people who would waste their money on this.  Later that day she then had to criticize those same people again when telling her daughter about it.  

It's like she just has to find fault in stuff.  

pinkcow13

We seriously have the same FMIL. A few weeks ago, out of the blue, FMIL starts grabbing or swatting at my hair and is like "Is that a gray hair? You have grays already?!" No, it was not a gray hair. I had not washed my hair in days, and I just sprayed some dry shampoo as well as hairspray to keep it in place. So of course I internally freak out thinking I have white gunk coming out my head. FI took a glance and said "No, she doesn't have gray hairs. That's just the crap she puts in it." Another time we were at a bbq, and she pointed out a pimple I had no idea I had on my face. FI looked at her and said, "Why would you point that out in front of everyone?" 

Don't feel bad about venting, I love FMIL too, but omg sometimes she drives me insane. And it's better to vent here than in real life! She was already texting me at 8 something in the morning today. Sigh.

climbingsingle

pinkcow13 said:

We seriously have the same FMIL. A few weeks ago, out of the blue, FMIL starts grabbing or swatting at my hair and is like "Is that a gray hair? You have grays already?!" No, it was not a gray hair. I had not washed my hair in days, and I just sprayed some dry shampoo as well as hairspray to keep it in place. So of course I internally freak out thinking I have white gunk coming out my head. FI took a glance and said "No, she doesn't have gray hairs. That's just the crap she puts in it." Another time we were at a bbq, and she pointed out a pimple I had no idea I had on my face. FI looked at her and said, "Why would you point that out in front of everyone?" 

Don't feel bad about venting, I love FMIL too, but omg sometimes she drives me insane. And it's better to vent here than in real life! She was already texting me at 8 something in the morning today. Sigh.

We really do have the same FMIL.