Escort card dilemma

gothic_fairy60

Originally I was thinking of doing the cards as "Mr. & Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast and family" for families with children. Both of us come from large families, so some last names are used for several families. Then I though I would do one for each person, including children. Now I am stuck. I relied on my FI to compile his side of the guest list. He brought me a list of names and waited until a week before to get addresses. I told him we needed phone numbers too but he said we could get those later. So I sent out invites. I am by no means an expert on his side of the family. He has a cousin (i think?) who we sent an invite to. I tried really hard to follow etiquette while addressing the invites. I sent it to Husband, Wife, and Daughter, as was on the list. While doing the seating chart he mentions that Husband, Wife, Daughter and baby Son (!!!!!!!!) would like to sit with so and so. I pulled out the RSVP. Sure enough, I sent an invite to three people and they RSVPed for three. FI is out of town and has tried to contact his sister for the phone number. I had her on the phone and asked for the number to follow up. She doesn't have it. So I asked FMIL for the number. Also got a no. They both said "oh, well it is probably just Wife and the kids". I did not explain that we accidentally left the baby off the invite to FSIL or FMIL because I know that they would say "They probably know that he was invited". I know this from experiences in other situations. Everyone on their side knows what is supposed to happen, regardless of what is said. I am at a loss here. I don't know who else to try and FI says he has no ideas. I could try finding them on facebook but worry that they might not get it in time or that it would be weird coming from me (FI doesn't have FB). As for the caterer, the baby wont make a difference in the numbers. If I can't follow up with her how do I do the escort cards? Not doing assigned seats, just assigned tables. How much more should I do to get an answer? Wedding is 7 days away and I have to get escort cards done and printed soon. This particular group is the only one with their last name. Should I just put "The Lastname Family" for this group and any others that do not share a last name with other groups and the rest would go back to "Mr. & Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast and family"? Sorry its so long!!!!!

gothic_fairy60

TK ate my paragraphs

huskypuppy14

I don't understand, did they not write their names on the response card?

If you can find them on facebook, try that, it's probably the fastest.

penguin44

Similar things happened to me. DH forgot that some of his cousins had kids. They added their kids to the RSVP. I felt awful. He also forgot a bunch of his cousins names. Luckily he found out about 3 days before the wedding. All he had to do was call FIL. 

Then, one of the families on his side that said they couldn't show was able to make it. This was a family of five. They told everyone in the family except for the people planning the wedding! That was fun... So glad we had enough food. It was obviously too late to change any of that. My mom ended up calling my dad and teaching him how to update the seating chart in her design software. It all worked out in the end, but it was very frustrating figuring all of it out. 

gothic_fairy60

No, they did not write their names. I thought everything was fine a couple weeks ago when we got the RSVP cause we put three names on the invite and they RSVPed for three.

mschristie123

Is the baby getting his own seat?? Because if not, then you're fine to continue to plan for three at that table (mom, dad, daughter, baby in a lap). As for the escort card, I would just write the "LastName Family." But I would definitely keep calling family members/get their phone number, etc to make sure they know the baby is invited with the rest of the family.

[Deleted User]

First it's a lot less stressful to do assigned tables versus assigned seats. You may want to count space for the baby seatwise so if they bring in a carrier, they have a place off the floor they can put the baby in. Or if you are able to get a hold of them, see if the baby is old enough for a high chair. As for the escort card:

Smith Family - Table 1

or

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith & family - Table 1

Or

John & Jane Smith and family - Table 1

 

wrigleyville

Count the baby with its own chair. Keeping a baby on your lap all the way through dinner and dancing (if they stick around) is a pain, especially if you want to eat while holding the baby. You also have to consider they'll have a diaper bag along with their purse and will need a place to set it.

Even if the baby isn't using the chair, the chair is often used for the baby's chair (you know... the removable car seat thingie), the diaper bag, or both. If the baby is big enough for a high chair, that will be placed in the spot of a regular chair. Some restaurant high chairs are even designed to hold the car seat chair thingie.

gothic_fairy60

I was planning on giving the baby its own chair, but I do not know which three of the four are attending. I will just do The Lastname Family so that it covers all of them.