Downplayed ceremony

glassvisage

Hi everyone,

I was hoping to get some ideas on having a downplayed ceremony at the reception. My fiance and I would like to have more of a celebratory party but understand that people still want to see a wedding. I don't think I would like to wear a white dress, have bridesmaids and groomsmen, or have a big aisle to walk down. 

We were thinking instead of having a sort of ceremony at the reception, where we would exchange vows with an officiant and then start dinner and dancing. There will not be a courthouse wedding or destination wedding.

I wanted to see if that is violating any major dos-and-don'ts for weddings, and if anyone has had any experience with something like this. Thank you -

artbyallie

glassvisage said:

Hi everyone,

I was hoping to get some ideas on having a downplayed ceremony at the reception. My fiance and I would like to have more of a celebratory party but understand that people still want to see a wedding. I don't think I would like to wear a white dress, have bridesmaids and groomsmen, or have a big aisle to walk down. 

We were thinking instead of having a sort of ceremony at the reception, where we would exchange vows with an officiant and then start dinner and dancing. There will not be a courthouse wedding or destination wedding.

I wanted to see if that is violating any major dos-and-don'ts for weddings, and if anyone has had any experience with something like this. Thank you -

You don't need attendants or a white dress or even an aisle to have a wedding. As long as you get legally married in this ceremony I see nothing wrong with paring down the trimmings.

southernbelle0915

You can have whatever kind of wedding you want. As long as you aren't married when you do it, you're fine.

Wear whatever you want, have 15 or zero BMs, do the processional or not, at a church or not... it's really up to you. Just run all these things by potential officiants to make sure they're cool with everything before you hire them.

I think it sounds nice to have a quick, non-traditional ceremony at the reception venue itself and then immediately start the party. 

Jells2dot0

I was invited to a wedding last weekend (I did not go, but DH did) that had a very short, simple ceremony at the reception site. They just brought in an officiant, did the ceremony in 10 minutes, and then the guests moved on to the cocktail hour. The bride wore a nice dress, not a gown. By all accounts, it was a lovely wedding.

glassvisage

Thank you all so much for your feedback! It's very helpful.

I also had a follow-up question: is it still acceptable to have a gift registry if we're not going all-out on the ceremony? It will definitely be a big reception - I've already put down thousands for the deposit, lol.

I appreciate the input-

manateehugger

Yes, it's fine to register. Just remember that you shouldn't be advertising that registry anywhere - don't put it in your invites!

southernbelle0915

Yes - a registry is fine.

glassvisage

Great, thank you*~

CMGragain

There is nothing wrong with your plan.  A real wedding has a bride, a groom ,an officiant, a license and legal witnesses. This satisfies your state law, and makes your marriage legal.  You are also having guests and a proper reception.  This satisfies etiquette.
The white dress is a tradition - not etiquette.  It is not required.
Bridesmaids are not required.
Bouquet tossing is not required.
Cake cutting is traditional, but not required.

What IS required is greeting each of your guests personally, and thanking them for coming to your wedding. Offering your guests food and drink is required.  (This is what a reception IS!)   Thank you notes are required for any gifts you might receive.
Your wedding is really quite traditional.

The pleasure of your company is requested
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
Day, date
time o'clock
Venue Name
Address
City, State

Reception immediately to follow.

jackannlu

I am not having on having a big ceremony either. It will take place at the same venue as our reception. We are actually planning on having a family member be our officiant. Once the small ceremony is finished, our guests will proceed to cocktail hour while we take pictures. Then the party will start!! 

allisoneliz

This is almost exactly what we did (on August 2nd) and I wouldn't have changed it for the world. I believe the ceremony clocked in at 9 minutes. Not a lot of bang for my chair rental buck when you consider the total time peoples butts were in the seats. ;-)