For the most part, this is just to vent.
I am really struggling with accepting the fact it seems etiquette is completely lost on the majority of my generation. Maybe it's just the area I'm in.
Our engagement party was fairly recent, and it was beautiful! A long time family friend planned and hosted the gathering for us and I was so flattered and excited. She asked me to put together a list of friends and family, and quickly got invitations in the mail. Invitations that specifically asked to RSVP by a certain date. This is where we ran into a hiccup. 3 days before the RSVP's were due, the host called me concerned about not having received any RSVP's so far. The invitations were sent out 4 weeks in advance. She needed to know how much food to buy, how much alcohol to serve, and how many tables and chairs to set up. This put me in the awkward position of having to call my friends and ask them to call the host and RSVP. When I called, I didn't get apologies about having forgotten to RSVP (with the exception of one friend), I got complaints and whining about needing to call someone and formally RSVP. "Oh you know I'll be there! Come on, who RSVP's these days!?" Well, *I* may have the confidence in our friendship that you will show up, but that doesn't mean the host will know to expect you there!
The RSVPs were worked out, and they did call after poking, prodding and insisting - Not a situation I felt comfortable being in. Oh well, gonna carry on. Not the end of the world. I even let the fact none of them thanked the host for the food, drinks, dessert and entertainment before leaving for the evening be brushed off, and compensated for profusely thanking the host myself on their behalf.
This past weekend we (myself and the bridesmaids) had a small get together for coffee. We got on the topic of weddings - mine, a wedding one of them had attended the weekend before, and the wedding of one of my bridesmaids friends. Here are a few of the etiquette taboo's that came up:
The girl who had been to a wedding the weekend before: Advised me to be careful if I'm planning on having our reception at a hotel because the drinks are upwards of $9 each. She explained the couple had "hosted" an hour of beverages but the rest of the night was a cash bar. She didn't think this was unreasonable because there were over 300 people at the wedding and it would have been very expensive to provide drinks all night. But, this justification sure didn't stop my friend from wanting to warn me against imposing such a high drink cost on my guests. Shouldn't that couple have kept that in mind when they chose that venue/decided to have 300 people?
My other bridesmaid was excited about being a B list bridesmaid for another friend of hers. This other friend had kicked someone out of the wedding party for not showing up to their engagement party and replaced that bridesmaid with my friend. This was completely acceptable and exciting to my friend.
We had a discussion about Stag & Doe parties. I explained what they were to them, and how they're a party to raise money for the bride and groom to throw their wedding. "It's basically asking your guests to fund the party you're planning on inviting them to" is how I explained it. B list bridesmaid chimed in and said "What a great idea! We should do one for you!" No. no, no, no, no and no.
Maybe I'm being uptight. I'm sure they think I am.
/endrant
/sorryforthelongpost
/wah