When to cash checks?

jcmoy241

So our wedding is in three weeks, and I have recieved a check from a family friend who can not make it to the wedding.. When is the appropriate time to cash the check? Should I wait until after the wedding? Do it now? I know how I feel when someone doesnt cash a check for a long time and then I see it come out of my account, but I also dont want to do it before the wedding if that isnt right!  Help!!!

I also ordered my thank you cards that have our new married name on them.. is it weird to send that thank you card before the wedding or am I looking too much into it?

manateehugger

Deposit it now and send the thank you now. You're right; people don't want to sit around and wait for you to take the money out of the account.

And yeah, I wouldn't send a thank you with a married name before you're married (it's not your name yet, you know?) Just run out to Target and grab a $3 pack of cute blank cards - then you can still use them after all the wedding hoopla for any reason.

JMalettas

 I disagree on this one. Technically you shouldn't be opening gifts prior to your wedding, so I wouldn't be cashing cheques either. We had one cheque received prior to our wedding, and we waited to cash it. I think if they're sending it as a wedding gift, they'll be prepared for your to cash it after your wedding. I would not send a random thank you card, and definitely wouldn't send one with your married name on it before you're married. Just wait, cash it with the rest of your cheques post wedding, and send a thank you along with the others. It's only 3 weeks away, not like 4 months. I can't see anyone being offended you cashed it post wedding, but I could definitely see some guests side-eyeing you cashing it early! I'd just take the safe road!

 *J

photokitty

Write and send a thank you note immediately. Cash the check. Do not spend the money until after the wedding.

Cashing a check is the same as opening a wedding present. You should open all wedding gifts received prior tot the wedding so you can send a thank you note before the wedding. You should not USE the gifts, cash or otherwise until after the wedding.

I would rather receive a thank you with your married name rather than wait for my check to cash or not receive a thank your until weeks after the check cashed. I would think both of these were rude...using the married name, I'd assume you were just prepared and sent the thank your notes you planned to use after the wedding - no side eyeing form me on that one.

manateehugger

JMalettas said:

 I disagree on this one. Technically you shouldn't be opening gifts prior to your wedding, so I wouldn't be cashing cheques either. We had one cheque received prior to our wedding, and we waited to cash it. I think if they're sending it as a wedding gift, they'll be prepared for your to cash it after your wedding. I would not send a random thank you card, and definitely wouldn't send one with your married name on it before you're married. Just wait, cash it with the rest of your cheques post wedding, and send a thank you along with the others. It's only 3 weeks away, not like 4 months. I can't see anyone being offended you cashed it post wedding, but I could definitely see some guests side-eyeing you cashing it early! I'd just take the safe road!

 *J

This is incorrect. You open, but do not use wedding gifts. How else could you appropriately thank your gift giver in a timely manner? You deposit, but do not spend money given to you.

If anyone writes a check that their account cannot currently cover, they are an idiot. 

Jen4948

Go ahead and cash the check and send the giver a prompt thank-you note.  But don't spend the cash until after the wedding.

stephhilde1000

I had not even thought of this, we recieved a check in with a response card for people who are coming o the wedding AND we recieved a gift, I assume because they cannot come to the shower.  It was from my Fiancee's family, but we were unsure if it was a wedding gift (check) or just a yay for you gift (since they are coming to the wedding).

I wish I had thought about it before we deposited it.

danamw

I am lax on this one. If I give you a check before the wedding, why would I think you should hold on to it? Cash it! It gets frustrating if I get a bank statement and it hasn't cleared; I think it was misplaced. Spend the cash whenever you want, before or after the wedding, I will never know.

If I get a thank you note before the wedding, that is great. It shouldn't have your married name on it; you aren't married yet. Just getting thanked properly is all that matters, whether it is a card from Target, or an official whatever, I'm good.

Don't overthink small things!

thisismynickname2

You know what's funny? If I'm giving a check, I'd prefer that the couple wait a few days (or even until right after the honeymoon) to cash my check. Why? Well, I attended a Sunday wedding and noticed mid-morning Monday that they'd already cashed it. I was like, damn, you really wanted my cash. I can't explain why I felt that way, but it was like their number-1 priority was cashing out from their wedding. Somehow gift-grabby. Nevermind sleeping in and having just-married sex, let's cash those checks!! Oh well. Like a PP said, if check-writers didn't account for the money at the time they wrote the check, they're idiots. That's what those registers are for.

grumbledore

thisismynickname said:

You know what's funny? If I'm giving a check, I'd prefer that the couple wait a few days (or even until right after the honeymoon) to cash my check. Why? Well, I attended a Sunday wedding and noticed mid-morning Monday that they'd already cashed it. I was like, damn, you really wanted my cash. I can't explain why I felt that way, but it was like their number-1 priority was cashing out from their wedding. Somehow gift-grabby. Nevermind sleeping in and having just-married sex, let's cash those checks!! Oh well. Like a PP said, if check-writers didn't account for the money at the time they wrote the check, they're idiots. That's what those registers are for.

I find this incredibly judgmental and shitty.  Just like a couple shouldn't demand a gift, a guest shouldn't be upset with a couple for doing exactly what they are supposed to do - cash a check immediately and thank the gift giver immediately.

ETA:  We use mobile deposit for all checks, so I imagine we will do the same for wedding gift checks.  We will most likely do it right away.  Because most people don't actually like to have checks hanging out uncashed for any period of time.  I know I certainly don't.

thisismynickname2

grumbledore said:

show previous quotes

thisismynickname said:

You know what's funny? If I'm giving a check, I'd prefer that the couple wait a few days (or even until right after the honeymoon) to cash my check. Why? Well, I attended a Sunday wedding and noticed mid-morning Monday that they'd already cashed it. I was like, damn, you really wanted my cash. I can't explain why I felt that way, but it was like their number-1 priority was cashing out from their wedding. Somehow gift-grabby. Nevermind sleeping in and having just-married sex, let's cash those checks!! Oh well. Like a PP said, if check-writers didn't account for the money at the time they wrote the check, they're idiots. That's what those registers are for.

I find this incredibly judgmental and shitty.  Just like a couple shouldn't demand a gift, a guest shouldn't be upset with a couple for doing exactly what they are supposed to do - cash a check immediately and thank the gift giver immediately.

ETA:  We use mobile deposit for all checks, so I imagine we will do the same for wedding gift checks.  We will most likely do it right away.  Because most people don't actually like to have checks hanging out uncashed for any period of time.  I know I certainly don't.

I actually now really dislike the person I'm speaking of, so it surely upped my judgement of her. I'd been trying to distance myself from the relationship for awhile and intentionally have barely communicated with her since her wedding.  There was a lot of behavior leading up to that in relation to gift giving that irked me. So yes, I judged hard.  I doubt I'd have the same reaction if someone who was otherwise a wonderful person did the same thing. 

ETA: I was also not thanked promptly. It took over 4-5 months if I recall correctly. 

grumbledore

thisismynickname said:

show previous quotes

grumbledore said:

thisismynickname said:

You know what's funny? If I'm giving a check, I'd prefer that the couple wait a few days (or even until right after the honeymoon) to cash my check. Why? Well, I attended a Sunday wedding and noticed mid-morning Monday that they'd already cashed it. I was like, damn, you really wanted my cash. I can't explain why I felt that way, but it was like their number-1 priority was cashing out from their wedding. Somehow gift-grabby. Nevermind sleeping in and having just-married sex, let's cash those checks!! Oh well. Like a PP said, if check-writers didn't account for the money at the time they wrote the check, they're idiots. That's what those registers are for.

I find this incredibly judgmental and shitty.  Just like a couple shouldn't demand a gift, a guest shouldn't be upset with a couple for doing exactly what they are supposed to do - cash a check immediately and thank the gift giver immediately.

ETA:  We use mobile deposit for all checks, so I imagine we will do the same for wedding gift checks.  We will most likely do it right away.  Because most people don't actually like to have checks hanging out uncashed for any period of time.  I know I certainly don't.

I actually now really dislike the person I'm speaking of, so it surely upped my judgement of her. I'd been trying to distance myself from the relationship for awhile and intentionally have barely communicated with her since her wedding.  There was a lot of behavior leading up to that in relation to gift giving that irked me. So yes, I judged hard.  I doubt I'd have the same reaction if someone who was otherwise a wonderful person did the same thing. 

ETA: I was also not thanked promptly. It took over 4-5 months if I recall correctly. 

Ah, well that kind of changes the situation.  I straight up hate people who are not gracious about receiving gifts.

vmj23

I'd cash it and send non wedding name thank you now.     There is no reason not to wait, and best to thank them right away.   

 

After our wedding I didn't deposit our checks right away and some family members questioned it, they wanted to balance their check books!   I don't think people like having many uncashed checks out there!