how far is too far?

mollybarker11

how long of a drive would you put up with to attend a friend's wedding?

my sister and her FI are still in the brainstorming phase for their wedding, but the latest idea is having it in his hometown (which would be OOT for our family/most guests). it's a gorgeous little village with a few b&b's but not enough to accommodate everyone they'd be inviting; however, it is a little under an hour away from a major city full of hotels. do you think people would make the trip? to me it seems iffy, but i'm from a small city myself so i'm used to everything being like 20mins away from everything else haha.

would love to hear your thoughts! could this work with some sort of shuttle system? what's the most remote wedding you guys have been to?

AddieCake

I'd drive several hours or fly to someone's wedding.

labro

I think the shuttle sounds nice. My cousin had her wedding on a beautiful farm in California. There wasn't any parking at the venue so she arranged shuttle transportation from the closest hotels. It was about a 30 minute trip...so not the same distance as your example but it worked well. Everyone knew where to be and when to catch the shuttle and as far as I know everyone made it to the ceremony on time. It was also really nice to not have to worry about drinking and driving. I think as long as your sister and FI put this in to the budget and plan it out a shuttle system could work out really well.

Liatris2010

It is fine, especially if it is in the grooms hometown. It's not like they picked the middle of nowhere in a state no one is from or has family in.

OliveOilsMom

I think some guests may have issues since there is not enough hotel space for them all in the small town, but I don't think its the end of the world.  As long as guests are properly hosted from the moment they arrive at the ceremony through the reception, they shouldn't care too much about the lack of accommodations.

lilacck28

OliveOilsMom said:

I think some guests may have issues since there is not enough hotel space for them all in the small town, but I don't think its the end of the world.  As long as guests are properly hosted from the moment they arrive at the ceremony through the reception, they shouldn't care too much about the lack of accommodations.

Even if it was the most spectacular wedding ever... I'd care. Driving an hour to get to a hotel in an area I am unfamiliar with and already had to drive hours to attend is... less than ideal (putting it mildly). Particularly if the reception is at night. If I was VERY close to the people getting married, I would still make an effort to attend, but I would not be happy. At all. 

ETA: I agree with a PP though... the fact that it is the groom's hometown does a lot to quell my would-be rage. Instead of ragey I'd be... seriously annoyed. Pissed off. Grumpy. There should be a Ragey dwarf. 

lyndausvi

I've flown to Austria for a friend's wedding before.  So I am willing to travel far.

That said, I would not be too happy driving/flying long distance and still have to drive an addition hour to a wedding.   

CMGragain

You cannot predict who will accept and who will decline.  We bent over backwards to accommodate relatives for my daughter's wedding, but most declined, anyway.  Tell your sister to just invite whom she wants to come to her wedding, and accept that there will be some people who will choose to not attend.

lc07

I've flown all over the world for people's weddings. That doesn't mean your sisters friends or family would go to hers. It's always best to clear plans with VIPs before settling on something if it is super important to the couple if those VIPs cannot attend. Even with that, of course, circumstances may arise that keep people from attending, but their best bet is to talk to their VIPs.

photokitty

Where would the reception be held if there are only a few b&be in the village? I would rather drive an hour to the ceremony at the groom's church and then the hour back to the city for the reception with on site lodging or very close.

A shuttle would be a nice option, as long it's not a late wedding. I would want it to be over by 9at the latest since there would be an hour shuttle ride plus loading and unloading...that would make for a long day.

twitterbird

No problem expecting travelling for a wedding if its in the hometown of the bride or groom. Or on a hot beach lol. I would block off the B&B rooms for the weekend for guests and also some rooms at a hotel in the close city. Offer guests a shuttle to and from that hotel.

mollybarker11

@lilacck28 Ragey Dwarf would have made that tale a whole lot more exciting hahaha

Thanks for the feedback everyone! @photokitty He mentioned the church hall for the reception but I also think it would be ending pretty soon after dinner and Sister and FBIL are definitely party people! They're adults and I'm sure will come up with something if they decide to pursue this idea, but if they ask for my input I'm glad to have you ladies as a sounding board

LabLove86

lyndausvi said:

I've flown to Austria for a friend's wedding before.  So I am willing to travel far.

That said, I would not be too happy driving/flying long distance and still have to drive an addition hour to a wedding.   

This. Exactly what I was going to say.

I don't mind traveling for a wedding if I choose to do that. But to have to drive long distance (IMO anything more than about 30-45min) after traveling? I would be put off by this.

STARMOON44

I don't mind flying OR driving. But flying in and having to stay an hour away from the wedding would likely mean I don't go.

lc07

Eh, I've flown to foreign countries and taken busses for hours to get to remote parts of places. Granted, once I was there - I was there. Meaning the reception and ceremony all took place at the location after the super long bus ride and 15 hours of flying.

thelastdreamer

My cousin had a very similar set up for her wedding. It worked out fine. We all just carpooled from the hotel. 

JoanE2012

I don't mind traveling to a wedding.  I would mind having to drive an additional hour from the hotel to the wedding and then back again.  Unless you were close family or a really good friend, I'd probably decline.

rsbloom

I wouldn't mind driving about an hour for a close friend or family. If I wasn't, I'd want to know that the couple blocked out a few of the BnBs so I had the option of staying close by.

pinkshorts27

I drove 6.5 hours each way to attend a family friend's wedding. But she was moving to Germany afterwards so I wanted to say goodbye and I was driving home so I stayed with my parents. 

blabla89

I went to a friend's wedding at a ranch in the Texas Hill Country that was 45 minutes from the nearest town with hotels. I flew into the nearest airport and made the hour and a half drive out there. Many of the other guests drove 5+ hours from the farther parts of Texas and Arkansas. They did get quite a few declines because it was hard to get to, though.

schellzinator

I'm with a lot of other posters. I don't mind traveling for a wedding at all - however, an hour would be a bit long of a drive to and from wedding/hotel after I've already traveled to get to that location. With that being said, if your sister and FBIL are set on that location they just need to understand that some friends/family might decline the wedding.

delujm0

I've flown all over the world to attend weddings.  I wouldn't be so worried about people getting to the town where the wedding will be.  However, even when i've flown overseas, the accomodations were either 20-30 minutes away from the site OR the couple provided a shuttle to get guests from the accomodations to the wedding and back.  If everyone winds up staying in the B&Bs close to the site, i wouldn't worry about them driving themselves to the wedding.  But if there are too many guests, and a lot of them have to stay an hour away, I'd arrange a shuttle.

MandyMost

I had a friend who got married last summer about an hour outside of a major city (ceremony and reception were at the same site). The vast majority of their guests were from out of town (very out of town--guests flew in from literally all over the world). They got a couple hotel blocks in the major city, and had shuttles to/from the location. No one was required to take the shuttles...you could drive if you wanted to (a couple local guests came right from work or another event, for example; if you knew you wanted to leave early I'd assume you'd find your own transportation as well). 

It worked out great. In particular, since people were coming from so far away, most people weren't there just for the one night for the wedding. Most people stayed a few nights. And since they were all staying in the city they didn't have to worry about renting a car, and could easily go out to eat, see the sights, etc., with no trouble. If the couple had picked lodging out at the wedding area, all the guests would have had to rent cars and/or have been "trapped" in a small town an hour away from world-class sights and entertainment and unable to get there. 

PrettyGirlLost

lyndausvi said:

I've flown to Austria for a friend's wedding before.  So I am willing to travel far.

That said, I would not be too happy driving/flying long distance and still have to drive an addition hour to a wedding.   

This^

I have flown halfway across the country to attend weddings, but once there I didn't have to drive an additional hour there and back again to attend the ceremony/reception.  I think that would suck.

danamw

I would drive 2 hours one way, to attend a wedding. That's it. Anything more, the bride/groom would have had to save my life in the past, for me to attend.