Annoying people and their opinions

theycallmelinz

Can I kick people out of my wedding party who tell me and FI we should just save our money and go to the court house?

Okay I'm not really kicking people out, but I've heard this so much it went from chuckle-worthy, to annoying, to really bothering me. There's absolutely nothing wrong with getting married at a court house, but that's not what I want. And that's not what FI wants either but he always goes along with the joke and says things like "hell yeah let's go now!"

It's pissing me off. I know I'm just being overly sensitive, which is why I came here instead of going off on the people. But thanks for letting me vent anyway

AddieCake

Why are they saying it? Just randomly? I would tell them you would appreciate if they would stop saying that.

missdelilah

You should tell people to shut it. It's your (in the plural) choice. You and FI get to choose what you want for your wedding, and if people don't like it, they don't need to participate. Can you just tell them that you're sick of the joke?

raissyrais

It's quite inappropriate for anyone to tell you what to do with your money.

levioosa

Are you mentioning how much you are spending specifically to these people, or is this just a generic "joking?"  If you're saying specific amounts and they're responding to that I would stop, bean dip anyone who asks, and just say you are excited to spend the day with the people you care about.  

Depending on who's asking, it might just be out of concern for you (ex. you and FI are paying a large sum of money towards the wedding which could be used as a down payment for a house, and parents are voicing concerns).  Doesn't make it right for them to "joke" or tell you what to do with your money, but at least you know it's out of care for you.  If it's incessant joking for none of the above reasons, I would just tell them the joke was funny the first time (even if it wasn't) but it has ceased to be so and you are just looking forward to celebrating with them.  

SBmini

The day after our wedding, one of my husband's groomsmen (my least favorite of the batch, the one who was given an option to get out) sent my husband a link to a decently new BMW with the text, "Could of had this, bro". 

Pissed me off. I would just tell that person that what they do for their wedding is their choice, and if they want to get married at a court house, you would totally support them. But that's not what you want. This is what you want. And if they have a problem with that, then they don't have to be a part of your wedding.

Inkdancer

SBmini said:

The day after our wedding, one of my husband's groomsmen (my least favorite of the batch, the one who was given an option to get out) sent my husband a link to a decently new BMW with the text, "Could of had this, bro". 

Pissed me off. I would just tell that person that what they do for their wedding is their choice, and if they want to get married at a court house, you would totally support them. But that's not what you want. This is what you want. And if they have a problem with that, then they don't have to be a part of your wedding.

The appropriate response to that text is "yeah, but I got this!" With a sexy but tasteful pic of new wife.

theycallmelinz

I talked with FI about this and it bothers him too. It hasn't been people saying it out of concern, it's been some of his groomsmen saying it like they can't believe we'd spend this much (and we're on a super tight budget, it's not like I'm having a platinum tv show wedding) on a wedding when we could spend $30 at the courthouse. But it's absolutely none of their business and my opinion is at the end of the day if they don't support us they don't have to come. The problem is I'm very non confrontational and I guess deep down I know they would never hurt me intentionally, so telling them this (how it's none of their business) makes me feel like I'd be acting like a bitch for no reason when I should just let it go.

Inkdancer

lulu411 said:

I talked with FI about this and it bothers him too. It hasn't been people saying it out of concern, it's been some of his groomsmen saying it like they can't believe we'd spend this much (and we're on a super tight budget, it's not like I'm having a platinum tv show wedding) on a wedding when we could spend $30 at the courthouse. But it's absolutely none of their business and my opinion is at the end of the day if they don't support us they don't have to come. The problem is I'm very non confrontational and I guess deep down I know they would never hurt me intentionally, so telling them this (how it's none of their business) makes me feel like I'd be acting like a bitch for no reason when I should just let it go.

Instead of saying it's none of their business, I'd turn it a different way: "Yeah, we could have gone to the courthouse. But it was important to us to have a party with you guys and our families. Please don't tease us about this anymore, okay?"

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

We are always here for a good vent!  

I just saw your ticker and I am sorry you are having troubles so far out!  Just let 'em know it's all good and you're gonna rock this party!  Please don't internalize it.  It gives you zits and an upset tummy (from my experience).

hellosweetie1015

Those. Asshats. 

No, seriously. Their wedding can be a courthouse affair. They can be beautiful and wonderful and the only reason WE aren't doing one is because his mom would be devastated and my mom would be sad. I think you should totally say, "We know that a courthouse wedding is economical and a wonderful choice. However, it is not what we want. We want to celebrate our union with the people we love the most, which includes you. It is hurtful when you say we should do a courthouse wedding." 

THREADJACK BELOW

@goldchocobo, I love it'ed yours because that is EXACTLY what everyone pitching in opinions about my wedding is doing to me too, haha. I have quit talking about it with anyone except FI and y'all. I just ... am too Type A to have those discussions, especially with my sister.

Tonight, sis and I were talking about the honeymoon discussion. 

Mom says: They're going back to Universal. 

Sis: WHY?! Why not go somewhere ELSE? 

Me: Because we loved Universal? 

Sis: BUT WHY? GO TO HAWAII! 

Me: That eats up our budget entirely. Like, on flights alone. No hotel or anything fun. Just flights. 

Sis: GO ON A CRUISE. GO HERE. GO THERE. UNIVERSAL IS STUPID.

Me: ...Universal has Diagon Alley and the Hogwarts Express and FI proposed there. I don't think it's stupid. Try the ice cream. It's great with Magic Shell. 

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

OMG I totally feel you on the honeymoon discussion.  FMIL is all up in our face "You need to get away.  Book something." FI politely says that we aren't taking a honeymoon right away, we are doing it next year, and the next conversation a few days later is "Why don't you want to take a honeymoon?  You should get away!"

BITCH I NEED A HONEYMOON AWAY FROM YOU AND YOUR FUCKIN' GOLDFISH MEMORY!  Knock it off!

raissyrais

goldchocobo said:

OMG I totally feel you on the honeymoon discussion.  FMIL is all up in our face "You need to get away.  Book something." FI politely says that we aren't taking a honeymoon right away, we are doing it next year, and the next conversation a few days later is "Why don't you want to take a honeymoon?  You should get away!"

BITCH I NEED A HONEYMOON AWAY FROM YOU AND YOUR FUCKIN' GOLDFISH MEMORY!  Knock it off!

This. Ugh.