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Disturbed by reading wedding boards

2

Re: Disturbed by reading wedding boards

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    mysticl said:
    AddieCake said:
    Awww, I missed it admitting to being a troll. Ooops.
    I think the troll comment was a defense mechanism because she has done a couple of posts before, I checked her history out of curiosity.  
    Ahhh, good call!  Thanks. My IDGAF initial post stands, then!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    lc07
  • raissyraisraissyrais London member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Get ready to be TORN lol
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  • arrippaarrippa Sam Adams Craft Commonwealth member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Wow you guys are bad at spotting trolls. Let the bitchiness commence. I'm gonna go retreat to Pinterest.
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    PrettyGirlLostVulgarGirl
  • When I first got here I thought the exact same thing. Sometimes I'll read something and think "that was so unnecessary". But instead of keyboard gang banging I just scroll right past it because you can't change it. So while it may be super rude or whatever just let it roll off your back and keep it pushing. 



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    mrsbrueske3perdonami
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I've only been engaged for two months but I've recently started frequenting theknot.com's forums to get ideas for my wedding next year. But I've pretty much had to stop because I'm so disturbed by all of the negativity/general bitchiness of so many commenters. These should be some of the happiest forums on the internet, we're all engaged/married to our beloved and yet so many feel the need to just tear into others and it's totally unwarranted.

    Here are my thoughts based on my observations:
    The OP's life/wedding is not your life/wedding. They are a completely different person with completely different life circumstances. They might make different decisions than you would. They might do things that you don't like. That doesn't mean that you should insult them or rudely tell them how to live their life or conduct their affairs. If they asked for advice, be polite and give it!!! If they're totally in the wrong then tell them, but be nice about it. Why would you want to tear someone down months/weeks/days before their wedding? I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want that done to you. 

    Just my rant for the day. Hoping to find some friendlier forum threads soon. 

    Oh Lawd, it's that time of the month here, isn't it?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    chibiyui
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    SBmini said:
    OP, this wasn't a very good idea. I'll agree with you that a lot of the ladies here uh... lack tact when it comes to discussing etiquette, which is rather ironic in and of itself. But let me make one thing clear: wedding etiquette is rarely a thing of opinion. Some things are acceptable and other things are rude. You'll note that rarely someone will get in a heated debate whether or not green is an appropriate wedding color, or if it is OK to serve Mexican food at the reception. Those things are opinion. What isn't opinion is etiquette. It is NOT ok to put registry information on an invitation. It is NOT ok to not provide seating for all your guests, or have an unhosted gap. Anyone who defends hese things are wrong and rude. And they deserve to be driven out of here for giving bad advice.

    We aren't here to make your life hell, we're here to make sure your family and friends don't make your life hell by ensuring you host a proper and polite wedding. Can some of us do a better job of doing so politely? Sure. But you can only nicely tell a bride that a cash bar isn't polite so many times before you lose your patience and snap at people. 

    And newly engaged ladies- seriously- search. Please. Search and see if your question has been asked before and read the answers to your question. It will save everyone a lot of headache.
    No, it's not that we lack tact.  We choose to respond in specific ways with specific language, and we choose to be blunt/visceral/snarky etc. to a specific degree depending on the post.

    There's nothing ironic in that at all.  I don't understand why so many people think that you can't possibly give out Wedding Etiquette advice or information and swear and be snarky in the same sentence.  If we were following social etiquette we might not swear, but who knows. . . the way I post here is the way I speak to people in reality.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • smsterner94 Please do not let these ladies attack you for posting your opinions. I am now married (actually just came back here to help my sister who is planning) and I had to delete my old account and create a new one before. I was personally attacked by people whom I'd never even spoken to before. So I 100% agree with your post, but these ladies DO NOT like hearing it (even if it is true). It's sad that I had to delete my account, and give up on the fun that is supposed to happen in forums such as this. My advice to you is either delete and move on to another site with friendlier contributors, or just search for answers to your questions elsewhere in general. Trust me, rarely any good can come from these forums. It's sad that we can't all play nice and only respond if we have something useful to say (rather than commenting just to harass others). Good luck with your wedding planning! P.S. Nesties are MUCH happier and pleasant to speak with. Chalk it up to wedding stress, I suppose.  :)
    jaime232brideofginger
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    smsterner94 Please do not let these ladies attack you for posting your opinions. I am now married (actually just came back here to help my sister who is planning) and I had to delete my old account and create a new one before. I was personally attacked by people whom I'd never even spoken to before. So I 100% agree with your post, but these ladies DO NOT like hearing it (even if it is true). It's sad that I had to delete my account, and give up on the fun that is supposed to happen in forums such as this. My advice to you is either delete and move on to another site with friendlier contributors, or just search for answers to your questions elsewhere in general. Trust me, rarely any good can come from these forums. It's sad that we can't all play nice and only respond if we have something useful to say (rather than commenting just to harass others). Good luck with your wedding planning! P.S. Nesties are MUCH happier and pleasant to speak with. Chalk it up to wedding stress, I suppose.  :)

    So sad.
    climbingsingleJCbride2015PrettyGirlLost
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    I've only been engaged for two months but I've recently started frequenting theknot.com's forums to get ideas for my wedding next year. But I've pretty much had to stop because I'm so disturbed by all of the negativity/general bitchiness of so many commenters. These should be some of the happiest forums on the internet, we're all engaged/married to our beloved and yet so many feel the need to just tear into others and it's totally unwarranted.

    Here are my thoughts based on my observations:
    The OP's life/wedding is not your life/wedding. They are a completely different person with completely different life circumstances. They might make different decisions than you would. They might do things that you don't like. That doesn't mean that you should insult them or rudely tell them how to live their life or conduct their affairs. If they asked for advice, be polite and give it!!! If they're totally in the wrong then tell them, but be nice about it. Why would you want to tear someone down months/weeks/days before their wedding? I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want that done to you. 

    Just my rant for the day. Hoping to find some friendlier forum threads soon. 

    Just one question for you, OP: 

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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    smsterner94 Please do not let these ladies attack you for posting your opinions. I am now married (actually just came back here to help my sister who is planning) and I had to delete my old account and create a new one before. I was personally attacked by people whom I'd never even spoken to before. So I 100% agree with your post, but these ladies DO NOT like hearing it (even if it is true). It's sad that I had to delete my account, and give up on the fun that is supposed to happen in forums such as this. My advice to you is either delete and move on to another site with friendlier contributors, or just search for answers to your questions elsewhere in general. Trust me, rarely any good can come from these forums. It's sad that we can't all play nice and only respond if we have something useful to say (rather than commenting just to harass others). Good luck with your wedding planning! P.S. Nesties are MUCH happier and pleasant to speak with. Chalk it up to wedding stress, I suppose.  :)

    Yeah, at least half the posters here are Nesties

    holyguacamole79OliveOilsMombride2b71614
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    smsterner94 Please do not let these ladies attack you for posting your opinions. I am now married (actually just came back here to help my sister who is planning) and I had to delete my old account and create a new one before. I was personally attacked by people whom I'd never even spoken to before. So I 100% agree with your post, but these ladies DO NOT like hearing it (even if it is true). It's sad that I had to delete my account, and give up on the fun that is supposed to happen in forums such as this. My advice to you is either delete and move on to another site with friendlier contributors, or just search for answers to your questions elsewhere in general. Trust me, rarely any good can come from these forums. It's sad that we can't all play nice and only respond if we have something useful to say (rather than commenting just to harass others). Good luck with your wedding planning! P.S. Nesties are MUCH happier and pleasant to speak with. Chalk it up to wedding stress, I suppose.  :)
    If you were "personally attacked" on these boards before then why even come back?  Why not go to those other sites with "friendlier contributors?"

    AddieCakeOliveOilsMomchibiyui
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I thought the Nest was dead?
  • theycallmelinztheycallmelinz Georgia member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    smsterner94 Please do not let these ladies attack you for posting your opinions. I am now married (actually just came back here to help my sister who is planning) and I had to delete my old account and create a new one before. I was personally attacked by people whom I'd never even spoken to before. So I 100% agree with your post, but these ladies DO NOT like hearing it (even if it is true). It's sad that I had to delete my account, and give up on the fun that is supposed to happen in forums such as this. My advice to you is either delete and move on to another site with friendlier contributors, or just search for answers to your questions elsewhere in general. Trust me, rarely any good can come from these forums. It's sad that we can't all play nice and only respond if we have something useful to say (rather than commenting just to harass others). Good luck with your wedding planning! P.S. Nesties are MUCH happier and pleasant to speak with. Chalk it up to wedding stress, I suppose.  :)
    If you were "personally attacked" on these boards before then why even come back?  Why not go to those other sites with "friendlier contributors?"
    Uhhhh yeah... why come back when rarely anything good comes from these forums? 

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    Anniversary



    ashley8918
  • theycallmelinztheycallmelinz Georgia member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Okay seriously, if I came here and thought these people were just a bunch of bitches and I KNEW I was right (as OP seems to believe), I would just simply think "Hm... these girls are bitches and their advice sucks. I'm gonna not read this crap anymore." And I'd go on my merry wedding-plannin' way. Why start a whole thread directed at "bitches" and expect to get anything different than that? Really? 
    Anniversary



  • I had to come back once more to see if my instinct was right - and it was! The people responding seem to be the same people who bullied me, and others before. smsterner94 if you're even still here, I forgot to mention to you that they would find a way to viciously respond to my supportive response to your post. I hope you're smiling as I am right now because this literally made my day, as they're proving everything that you said to be true. These ladies are so predictable. Watch out when they start ONLY speaking in gifs too! It gets prettyyy exciting. Again, good luck! P.S. Google info about The Knot and the notoriously bad reputation it has for cyber attacks and "snarky" forums. It's a well-known fact that this is a pretty pointless place to go for wedding help.
  • smsterner94 Please do not let these ladies attack you for posting your opinions. I am now married (actually just came back here to help my sister who is planning) and I had to delete my old account and create a new one before. I was personally attacked by people whom I'd never even spoken to before. So I 100% agree with your post, but these ladies DO NOT like hearing it (even if it is true). It's sad that I had to delete my account, and give up on the fun that is supposed to happen in forums such as this. My advice to you is either delete and move on to another site with friendlier contributors, or just search for answers to your questions elsewhere in general. Trust me, rarely any good can come from these forums. It's sad that we can't all play nice and only respond if we have something useful to say (rather than commenting just to harass others). Good luck with your wedding planning! P.S. Nesties are MUCH happier and pleasant to speak with. Chalk it up to wedding stress, I suppose.  :)
    You were personally attacked? Or you had a rude idea that didn't get the validation you were seeking? Whenever a knottie is actually personally attacked, the person gets warned, banned or called out on it. Most of the time though, someone posts some idea that's super rude and when they don't get sunshine blown up their ass (like on WB and WW), they cry "bully" and "attack". It happens all the time. People are allowed to have different opinions.

    Also...
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    OliveOilsMomwandajune6JCbride2015PrettyGirlLost
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    lulu411 said:
    Okay seriously, if I came here and thought these people were just a bunch of bitches and I KNEW I was right (as OP seems to believe), I would just simply think "Hm... these girls are bitches and their advice sucks. I'm gonna not read this crap anymore." And I'd go on my merry wedding-plannin' way. Why start a whole thread directed at "bitches" and expect to get anything different than that? Really? 
    Because some people want attention and/or they think that they are above everyone else and need to teach us a lesson.

  • theycallmelinztheycallmelinz Georgia member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I had to come back once more to see if my instinct was right - and it was! The people responding seem to be the same people who bullied me, and others before. smsterner94 if you're even still here, I forgot to mention to you that they would find a way to viciously respond to my supportive response to your post. I hope you're smiling as I am right now because this literally made my day, as they're proving everything that you said to be true. These ladies are so predictable. Watch out when they start ONLY speaking in gifs too! It gets prettyyy exciting. Again, good luck! P.S. Google info about The Knot and the notoriously bad reputation it has for cyber attacks and "snarky" forums. It's a well-known fact that this is a pretty pointless place to go for wedding help.
    Yet you're still here.... 
    Anniversary



    southernbelle0915chibiyui
  • southernbelle0915 Yes, to the point where they found my personal information, looked me up on all forms of social media and made comments accordingly. Also, they found my wedding registry and tore that apart with criticisms as well. Fun times.
  • I had to come back once more to see if my instinct was right - and it was! The people responding seem to be the same people who bullied me, and others before. smsterner94 if you're even still here, I forgot to mention to you that they would find a way to viciously respond to my supportive response to your post. I hope you're smiling as I am right now because this literally made my day, as they're proving everything that you said to be true. These ladies are so predictable. Watch out when they start ONLY speaking in gifs too! It gets prettyyy exciting. Again, good luck! P.S. Google info about The Knot and the notoriously bad reputation it has for cyber attacks and "snarky" forums. It's a well-known fact that this is a pretty pointless place to go for wedding help.
    Do you know what bullying is? It's really sad and tragic and leaves lifetime scars. Please stop misusing a word that carries heavy weight for actual victims.

    Sensitivity + terrible ideas being called out =/= bullying.

    Also, I can't even with your use of cyber attacks....
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    southernbelle0915 Yes, to the point where they found my personal information, looked me up on all forms of social media and made comments accordingly. Also, they found my wedding registry and tore that apart with criticisms as well. Fun times.
    Damn, that sucks.  That's also why we'll encourage people to change their screen name to not be identifying. 
  • southernbelle0915 Yes, to the point where they found my personal information, looked me up on all forms of social media and made comments accordingly. Also, they found my wedding registry and tore that apart with criticisms as well. Fun times.
    Jashley?
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    Maggie0829ashley8918
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    southernbelle0915 Yes, to the point where they found my personal information, looked me up on all forms of social media and made comments accordingly. Also, they found my wedding registry and tore that apart with criticisms as well. Fun times.
    And even after all that you still decided to make another account and come back on here.

    Sorry but that makes zero sense.

    holyguacamole79AddieCake
  • If you think any of this constitutes an attack, I envy how sheltered your life must be. Must just be puppies and rainbows all the time, and farts that smell like marshmallows fluff. 

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    gladyscf
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If you think any of this constitutes an attack, I envy how sheltered your life must be. Must just be puppies and rainbows all the time, and farts that smell like marshmallows fluff. 
    This would be awesome!

    theartistformerlyknownas
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