A little back story: One of my good friends is getting married. The wedding planning has really been kind of a mess. She was out of the country for a good bit with zero communication to the States, so her cousin, the MOH took over. The wedding has been absolutely fraught with the stupidest drama/etiquette fails. The MOH also can't stand me for some reason and it's pretty obvious. I've known her for about fifteen years, and I think it's rooted in some jealousy in how close the Bride and I were growing up. I don't really care for her either, but my personal philosophy is to be civil with people I dislike, and that as such, we would be able to work together well enough to help out the Bride.
MOH got overwhelmed with essentially planning the wedding, so she reached out for help with the Bachelorette party. Originally she just texted "It will be $300" and when I asked what that $300 included, she told me that she wouldn't give the breakdown, she just needed to see who could go. Um, excuse me? You can't even tell me where that money is going? What if she was just counting the hotel and the dance class? Does that include gas/food/etc?
Since she was so stressed out, I offered to help. I planned the whole thing, fronted over $600 for a hotel (ridiculous price for one night, but she kept wanting a nicer and nicer hotel. I should have put my foot down and refused) and I also researched and made reservations and gave a complete breakdown of what exactly the costs were for the rest of the bridesmaids. All seemed good. One bridesmaid had already bought her ticket to fly out from across the country. I talked to the MOH last night and discussed a full timeline so we could be on the same page. The price of the hotel had really been bothering me, especially since the other girls aren't exactly made of money either, so I suggested that we perhaps get a cheaper hotel. She said she wanted that particular hotel, I said okay, and we parted ways civilly.
Today, I get a group text from MOH saying that the Bride is cancelling the Bachelorette. First I've heard of it. So instead of doing a he said/she said, I went straight to the source (Bride) and just asked her if she was sure, because we would love to honor her by taking her out. The Bride said she was feeling overwhelmed by surprise parties, so I asked her if she would still like to have one if we fully disclosed all the details. If not, totally cool. She responded that she would talk to MOH and get back to me. So I told MOH that I would wait to cancel the hotel until she conferred with the Bride later that evening. MOH responds that she is tired of me "double checking her every move" and "second guessing her" along with some other general bitchy comments that insinuated that I was just an outsider of the WP. What?! I didn't respond to the text because I figured it was best just not to add any fuel to the fire. Also, I probably would have said some very passive aggressive stuff, and I would like to be more mature than that.
My only "second guessing her" is when she was planning the first bridal shower and I suggested that she may want to rethink her Beyonce "Halo" theme for an older conservative Christian crowd of women who would probably have no idea who Beyonce even is. Or, asking her again if she really wanted to do a hotel for $600 a night when there were far cheaper, and frankly better options. She has treated me terribly and extremely rudely each time we've seen each other, even snapping at me in front of one of the guests at the first shower last week when I wasn't where she thought I should be (even though she didn't share the bridal shower timeline with me beforehand). I also corrected her price breakdown when she retexted it to the rest of the Bridesmaids for the Bachelorette party. She told them they owed me $200 when they only owed me $123. The $200 was the full cost of the party minus the optional nice dinner out and any other expenses the Bridesmaids chose while we were there (i.e. I'm not budgeting in gambling money). I tried so hard to make the night reasonably priced (and could have done better if it wasn't for the stupid hotel).
I guess I'm just tired of being treated like crap. I'm tired of putting myself out there and trying to make life easier for other people. I also think I'm angry that she basically took credit for planning the Bachelorette party, even though it probably won't happen, and that she didn't contact me first before the group message when I planned and paid for everything. I'm so sick of people acting like they're in high school. I'm sick of people not being able to work civilly with each other, even though they may not care for each other's company. I'm just so sick of this whole wedding and I honestly wish the Bride had never even asked me to be in the WP. I hate that the MOH is sweet as pie to everyone else and then turns around and treats me like crap. And I can't even say anything because she's always so nice to everyone else there that it will seem "out of character" and unbelievable. I also don't want to say anything to the Bride because she is super stressed with the wedding and I also don't want to put her in a position where she has to mediate between her family and one of her best friends. Sorry for the pity party rant. I'm just over the whole wedding, and I'm a little hurt. I just have to tell myself that it's only one more month and then I never have to interact with the MOH again.
If anyone actually read this monolithic post... I send you a virtual cake.