I had the most wonderful bridal shower yesterday. All of my (local) family, FI's (local) family, lots of friends, coworkers, etc. It was amazing.
My gramma was there. I'm very lucky- she's 93, in great health, mobile, etc. She's also got dementia and bad hearing. She's too vain for a hearing aid and her memory is gone. My aunt had a great way of explaining it- she's lost her filter and her judgment.
My gramma was a smart, active, woman. She used worked until she was forced to retire at 75 then got active with multiple charities and political causes. She used to go to every classical music concert, visit friends everywhere, travel the world, read everything and I adored her.
My mom and I drove her to the shower and she kept asking where we were going- then getting mad at my mom because my mother clearly forgot to tell her where she was taking her. That made me sad. She kept calling me by my niece's name. That kinda hurt. It broke my heart when I read the card on her gift- she signed it as "Auntie." (My mom buys all gifts on behalf of my gramma but has her write out the cards).
My friend just called me this morning to tell me that my gramma- the little Russian Jewish lady who used to get arrested while fighting for civil rights asked our (black) friend if she lived in Englewood (a Chicago neighborhood that's one of the US's most dangerous places). She said that our friend handled it gracefully but was clearly upset. The friend who called thought I should know. It sounds like she was very conflicted on how to handle the situation but decided she should tell me. I need to give her a call today but I'm still pondering what I should say. I've got a call into my mom for advice. In the meantime, I'm sick to my stomach.
@pinkshort's post and the following responses about grandparents has weighed heavily. Getting old is awful.