non traditional wedding reception

crystallc33047

Hey gals! I need a little help with my timeline. I really don't want a typical wedding reception. We're having lots of appetizers coming out throughout the evening, pizza later in the night and a cupcake table.
I basically wanted like a dance type reception where people could eat, drink, dance an mingle the whole night.
We don't want to throw the bouquet or cut cake. But my sister wants to show a slide show and a couple people want to say a few words and of course our first dance.
I guess I don't know how to incorporate a cocktail style reception with a few traditional things added. I don't want it to be disorganized.
Please help!!

southernbelle0915

crystalcottreau said:

Hey gals! I need a little help with my timeline. I really don't want a typical wedding reception. We're having lots of appetizers coming out throughout the evening, pizza later in the night and a cupcake table. I basically wanted like a dance type reception where people could eat, drink, dance an mingle the whole night. We don't want to throw the bouquet or cut cake. But my sister wants to show a slide show and a couple people want to say a few words and of course our first dance. I guess I don't know how to incorporate a cocktail style reception with a few traditional things added. I don't want it to be disorganized. Please help!!

First - change your user name. Internet privacy and all.

Re. your wedding... You can get as creative as you want, but keep in mind two must-haves:

1) seating for everyone 

2) a meal or enough food to constitute a meal if it's a meal-time reception

About #1, if you are thinking about a mingling-style reception, I'm assuming you're thinking about open seating. If you do this, you need 10-15% MORE seats than people because of people leaving a space between them, not filling tables, etc. This does not include any stand up cocktail tables. You'll want these, but they are extra - in addition to the 10-15% extra seating. I had open seating and because we had extra seats, it wasn't a problem. If we hadn't, people wouldn't have had a place to sit and eat or set their stuff down. 

About #2, please please please for the sweet love of happy guests.. have plenty of food and make it heavy enough to be a meal if you're not serving a sit-down meal. 

The worst wedding I ever went to was a cocktail/mingle style reception that didn't have enough seats or ran out of food. Behind the B&Gs backs, everyone talks about it as the "worst wedding ever". Anyone I tell about the wedding shakes their heads and rolls their eyes.

Get creative with your menu, your decor, etc. You don't need a bouquet toss (we didn't have one). I would defintely NOT do the slide show though. This gets a serious bored sigh and eye-roll from guests. An alternative would be to have one going on a laptop at the guest book table. People can watch if they want, or move on.

CMGragain

Important things a reception MUST have:

1.  Seats enough for everyone!
2.  Food enough for everyone!  (Please have cake)
3.  Drink enough for everyone!  (Alcohol optional)

Anything else is not necessary.

lyndausvi

I had a full meal and everyone still mingled and danced all night long.   They even dance in between courses.  So I do not quite understand cocktail reception seems to be more of a party.  Let me tell you, my wedding was one hell of a party.   Honestly it's sort of offensive to suggest otherwise. 

Anyway like pp's said the way to a good whole night party is 

1 - seats for everyone.  That can be in the form of traditional seating (i.e. round tables), sofas, chairs, benches or any combination.

2 - plenty of food for a meal.  This can be in the form of a full sit-down meal or buffet, action stations or cocktail food throughout the event.   The how is less important than the quantity.

3-  Beverages.  In my opinion that means open bar.  At the very least offer what you can afford.

I didn't have the tosses but I did have the cut cutting.  There is not rule you have to have any of them.  Although I would find it odd not to have a cake cutting.  Parties (weddings or otherwise) have cake cuttings.   It's often a sign that people can leave.

If you want a few toasts you can just have the DJ/master of ceremonies cue the audience when it's time.      

I'm not a fan of slide shows.  At all.  Especially ones that stop the party to watch.  BORING and buzz kill.  That side, I do not mind a slide show off to the side, maybe near the bar that people can watch on their own time if they choose.

BlueBirdMB

I agree with all of the above.  You must have:

1. Enough food to constitute a meal if your wedding is at a mealtime

2. Seats for everyone

3. Drink for everyone

If you don't' have a cake cutting or bouquet toss, I'm not sure why you need a particular timeline other than a start and end time.

AddieCake

We didn't have any kind of timeline for our reception.

NYCMercedes

What time of day is your wedding?

crystallc33047

My ceremony starts at 5:00pm and reception for 7:30pm.

I absolutely have plenty of food. I made that very clear to our caterer.
I also have a seating plan and tables and chairs for everyone. And there will be an open bar.

We're not traditional and I didn't want typical wedding traditions. I basically wanted to have a party as if I hosted it myself at my place and I'd have food and drinks and music for everyone.

Not sure why it would be so odd not to cut a cake? I just don't want one...
And as for the slide show..it is just something that will be playing in the background. Not a big spectacle where everyone is subject to watch.

Thanks for your comments

crystallc33047

We will be taking pictures. My ceremony is an hours drive away from the reception hall. So guests will be driving for an hour.
I've been to weddings where there were huge gaps and we've always found something to do before the reception started

Viczaesar

crystallc33047 said:

We will be taking pictures. My ceremony is an hours drive away from the reception hall. So guests will be driving for an hour. I've been to weddings where there were huge gaps and we've always found something to do before the reception started

That's too far.

crystallc33047

Lol you people are actually of no help.
I didn't ask for criticism. I needed help with a timeline...
I am from a small town and everyone is very familiar with the ceremony site. It is a rustic log cabin on a lake . Lots of people get married there. People are aware of the drive and no one had a problem with it.
I am a hairstylist and I've done 3 brides so far this year who have gotten married there. No issues.

beethery

You got one response that would strike only a very sensitive person as critical. You got input on the rest. If you can not take input, you should not have posted a question on the internet for people to give input on.

southernbelle0915

crystallc33047 said:

Lol you people are actually of no help. I didn't ask for criticism. I needed help with a timeline... I am from a small town and everyone is very familiar with the ceremony site. It is a rustic log cabin on a lake . Lots of people get married there. People are aware of the drive and no one had a problem with it. I am a hairstylist and I've done 3 brides so far this year who have gotten married there. No issues.

Just because you have no problem with it (especially because you're obviously getting paid to go out there as a stylist...) doesn't mean other people are jumping for joy that they get to drive an hour between the ceremony and reception site. As a guest, I would be annoyed with this for sure. And I grew up in a small town, so no excuses there.

You are posting on the interwebz - it's a big place. People will comment on whatever they want.

wrigleyville

I've been to weddings where I had to drive an hour from the ceremony to the reception, and I HATED it. I didn't say anything to the couple, because that would be rude, so that might be why a lot of brides think "everyone is/was okay with it" when, in truth, they're not. People lie to keep brides happy and then talk behind their backs. Trust me. You asked for help with your timeline, and people commented on the hour drive. To me, that's timeline-related. It might be too late to change it (I didn't check your wedding date); we're just offering something to consider, especially if people are lurking and considering doing the same thing. (I swear I typed this in paragraphs. Sorry.)

BlueBirdMB

I hate having to drive more than a half hour between the ceremony to reception.  That comment is in regards to your timeline.  The other comment I have in regards to your timeline is that you will still have a large gap between the time the guests arrive and the time your reception starts, unless you ceremony is suppose to last 1.5 hours?  I'm guessing it's more like a half hour, in which case, your guests will have to sit around for an hour.  You must host them during this time.  Food and drink should be waiting for them when they arrive at the reception venue.

MandyMost

I have no problem with no cake cutting. You should have some kind of dessert, though.

Since you're doing a non-traditional food set up of (what sounds like ) heavy apps through out the evening, then dessert (?), and then late-night pizza, I think it's important that you convey this information to your guests. Can you put "Menus" on the tables? So guests aren't expecting a seated meal or a cake cutting.

As for the timeline, I'm going to let the hour drive go. Personally an hour drive is a LOT for me, as I live in the city and walk or take public transportation places. I can't imagine driving an hour for a ceremony, then driving an hour back.

Suggested timeline:

5-5:30pm ceremony

5:30-6:30 drive time

6:30pm cocktail hour with open bar and some sort of food (even cheese and crackers is fine in my opinion, as long as there is variety and plenty)

7:30pm reception starts by having the guests go to their seats (either via the DJ or a coordinator starting to usher people in)

7:40 couple announced and first dance

7:45 first round of food comes out

7:50 toasts

8-10:30 open dance floor for all, and food coming out regularly

10:30 late-night pizza is served

10:45pm last call