Registry and Gift Forum

Having wedding back home, don't want to fly gifts back...

Hi All,

I'm new to posting on the knot but thought I'd give it a whirl. We recently moved to Seattle from Wisconsin for work. We decided to have our wedding back home so that we wouldn't have to burden our friends and family with spending a bunch of money to attend a wedding in Seattle. My question is, what is your advice on gifts/registries? We can't afford to ship all our gifts from WI to WA, but at the same time there's the whole 'asking for money' etiquette debate. Should we register with online stores and ask specifically to only ship to our place in WA? But that leaves a logistical nightmare as we live in an apartment and we aren't home most of the day - and the doorbell doesn't work, ha. The reason I ask you guys is because you'll be brutally honest. My groom wants to just ask for money as it's the most convenient. I'd ask friends/family but I'm sure they will be amicable but that's just because they are friends and family! Thanks for the advice!

Re: Having wedding back home, don't want to fly gifts back...

  • Ditto @misshart00‌

    You don't ask for money. If you dont register, people will ask you and you can say "we're saving up for XYZ". They'll get it. I really liked the suggestion for getting a temp PO box if you are worried about having gifts shipped to your apartment.
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  • Another ditto - don't ask for money, just don't register.

    I will also ditto the PO Box (because some people will buy you a gift rather than give money no matter what).  I've always had one since I'm an apartment dweller and have all my packages shipped there (I got mine after a family member had a box of checks stolen because the package was too big to fit in the tiny apt. mailbox so the mail carrier just left it sitting on top of the mail boxes just begging to be stolen, which someone did). 

    I would also think that most people are smart enough to purchase online and ship directly to you or bring a card with cash instead.  It may be regional, but I was astounded when I came on these boards and realized people had gift tables - I was always taught that it was proper to have the gift sent directly to the bride and groom shortly before or very shortly after the wedding, not to bring it to the wedding (it's not a birthday party or a shower for crying out loud).  But apparently in some places people do this - I would like to think that even if it was tradition to bring gifts, most people would also have the common sense to know that Wedding in WI + Living in WA = very impractical to bring an actual gift to the wedding besides money.
    chibiyui
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited August 2014
    Ditto PP- never ASK for money, just don't register (and definitely do not do a honeyfund or gift card registry). If you do not register and only want cash, this means no shower, as that is for boxed gifts only. Some people only buy boxed gifts, so it may be worth registering for a small amount of things. Have you considered registering on Amazon and then having them sent to an Amazon Locker near you? Those are a lifesaver for people who work full time and can't have things delivered to your home.
    Megalega14southernbelle0915
  • You guys are brilliant, glad I posted. I didn't even think of getting a PO box - and Amazon Locker?!?! Done deal. Didn't know they had those!. I think registering for some stuff on Amazon is what we'll do. Seattle is the home of Amazon, anyways. And I'm sure I'm over thinking it and you guys are right, most everyone will understand we won't want to lug gifts around and will probably have them sent to us, or give cash. And I definitely agree with you jacques27 on the gift table thing. I've always shipped gifts directly to the giftee when ordering from registries. Thanks All!
    holyguacamole79
  • the worst case, if you do register and have a shower, you can just return the gifts in WI and re-buy them in WA
  • edited August 2014
    yeah had to deal with this too. it has sucked
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    Most people will likely give you gift cards or money, with distance in mind. And doing just a small registry will also convey this without having to say anything.

    Register at bigger chain stores that are return friendly and plan on returning gifts in WI before heading home.  You may need to plan on being in WI for an extra day to make sure you have time to open & return gifts.

    Bed, Bath & Beyond is awesome for this. I did registry at Amazon & BB&B.  I had shower back in my home state and received a couple of large gifts from BB&B.  Before flying home, I took BB&B gifts back to the store to return them, with intention of repurchasing back home. BB&B offered to put in the order right then and ship to my house or set it up for shipping to local store so I could just pick it up at store when I got home. Or you can get the value put onto gift card to just repurchase at your convenience. So, that is definitely an option for you.

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