MoH/BM and duties.

laceykeo

I just want to check I've got this right...

MoH duties = Bride asks MoH what sort of budget she has for a dress. MoH gives a max figure. Bride and MoH agree on a dress that works with the brides vision, and most importantly, makes MoH feel great.
MoH shows up (mostly sober) at the agreed time on the day of the wedding, walks down the aisle at the appropriate time, stands with the bride, and smiles for pictures.

BM duties = Bride asks each BM individually what sort of budget she has for a dress. BMs give a max figure. Bride and BMs agree on a dress that works with the brides vision, and most importantly, makes BMs feel great. (Can be the same dress, or not).
BMs show up (mostly sober) at the agreed time on the day of the wedding, walk down the aisle at the appropriate time, stand with the bride, and smile for pictures.

Even then, this is not strictly true, I guess... BM has an emergency the day before the wedding and can't make it on time, she'll be there for the reception if she can make it in time, maybe. Still a BM.
Flying out for a DW, one BMs suitcase gets put on the wrong flight and ends up on the opposite side of the world. Still a BM. Just turn up in whatever clothes you have/can get.

BMs are the girls you are closest to. People you can't imagine not having in your life, regardless of how often you do/not get to see/speak with each other.
MoH is the person you absolutely love most in the world (outside of family).

That sound about right?

LondonLisa

wrongsideoftheocean said:

I just want to check I've got this right... MoH duties = Bride asks MoH what sort of budget she has for a dress. MoH gives a max figure. Bride and MoH agree on a dress that works with the brides vision, and most importantly, makes MoH feel great. MoH shows up (mostly sober) at the agreed time on the day of the wedding, walks down the aisle at the appropriate time, stands with the bride, and smiles for pictures. BM duties = Bride asks each BM individually what sort of budget she has for a dress. BMs give a max figure. Bride and BMs agree on a dress that works with the brides vision, and most importantly, makes BMs feel great. (Can be the same dress, or not). BMs show up (mostly sober) at the agreed time on the day of the wedding, walk down the aisle at the appropriate time, stand with the bride, and smile for pictures. Even then, this is not strictly true, I guess... BM has an emergency the day before the wedding and can't make it on time, she'll be there for the reception if she can make it in time, maybe. Still a BM. Flying out for a DW, one BMs suitcase gets put on the wrong flight and ends up on the opposite side of the world. Still a BM. Just turn up in whatever clothes you have/can get. BMs are the girls you are closest to. People you can't imagine not having in your life, regardless of how often you do/not get to see/speak with each other. MoH is the person you absolutely love most in the world (outside of family). That sound about right?

Wrongside- Yes, I agree. However, I believe the BM buys their own dress in North America, however here in the UK (I remember you saying you were British) it is the Bride's responsibility to pay for the chief bridesmaids/ BM's attire. I just think this is a minor cultural difference (but an important one!) for any trans-Atlantic brides. 

laceykeo

Oh really?

I didn't know that. So like, I would buy MoHs dress? How does that work if she'd like/can afford a more expensive dress? She just pays the extra? Or, that's something that you'd discuss based on friendship dynamic?

Also, I meant to go through to note that Bridesmaid could be Bridesman, and Maid/Matron of Honour could be Man of Honour (or whatever).

LondonLisa

Everytime I have been a BM in Britain, the bride has done some research about the dresses she can afford and the styles. I have gone to the boutique with the bride and the other BMs and the store clerk pulls dresses in the style/colour/Bride's budget.  Some brides also buy shoes/ jewellery, some have just said to wear a neutral colour we already own.  

I have worn some dresses I wasn't crazy about for weddings but it was what the bride wanted and it was her money (and not so horrid I couldn't stand it).  I would feel rather cheeky (read: rude) asking to "upgrade" her dress budget with my own money. I think that is rather inappropriate.

PrettyGirlLost

I think it's great you're trying to figure out how to be a kind and courtous bride, but aren't you putting the cart a bit before the horse here?

sarawifenow

PrettyGirlLost said:

I think it's great you're trying to figure out how to be a kind and courtous bride, but aren't you putting the cart a bit before the horse here?

QFT