Moms and Maids

Bridesmaid Drama and Not Sure What to Do!

HI all!

I apologize for the lengthy post.. but I need some advice!

I'm getting married in the UK in October (fiancé is Welsh!) and I have two lovely bridesmaids who have taken on the important task of planning my bachelorette party, or 'hen party' as they call it over here. 

Basically, long story short, the girls have planned a nice bachelorette party for me and it's all a complete surprise! Well it was supposed to be anyway until I accidentally overheard my fiancé talking about it. I didn't find out much but what I did find out was an absolute deal breaker for me. When the girls asked me early on what I wanted to do, I begged (and I literally mean begged) them for a weekend of fun activities. Because that's what my friends have done back home in Texas. Weekend means two days, right? So I thought! I found out that it's one night of going out and drinking with a bunch of the other girlfriends I've made here. When I found out, I was so upset I might as well have been on an episode of Bridezillas! 

Apparently, they've planned a few other events as well.. including my bridal shower! Which I have no objections to.. but I'd like a hand in the planning somehow. But all of this has caused major drama between them and my fiancé as I secretly asked him to do the dirty work of trying to have them add another day to the weekend! I don't want to sound ungrateful because I'm really not.. but it's gotten to the point to where I didn't even get to pick out what I wanted to wear! It feels as though what I wanted never got listened to. Especially when you're living in a new country and you've been planning your dream bachelorette party since you were 16.

It was tough to listen to my fiancé and his guys last night.. they were all talking about taking him on a nice weekend away. My girlfriends back home don't even get to be a part of this! Am I right to feel upset? Or am I just acting like a crazy bridezilla?
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Re: Bridesmaid Drama and Not Sure What to Do!

  • cafarrie said:
    you're being a crazy bridezilla...why do you need a whole weekend?  You're seriously overreacting and acting like kind of an ungrateful B.  Go have fun on the night these new friends planned for you and don't act like you are on here....they likely won't be your friends too long if you do. 

    --------

    Wow, I'm a bit taken aback. I didn't realize people were so rude on here.. I also didn't realize it was a big deal to have a weekend to yourself when that is the standard here in the UK as well as what my friends have done back home. Totally cool to tell me I'm being a bridezilla but no need to be rude :)
  • Alright, so you're right. I am being a massive bridezilla and a pain the rear end and just plain immature. I agree and I have no problem admitting that. My two bridesmaids have done nothing but plan this surprise and I'm so excited to see what they have in store. I'm looking forward to buying my bridesmaids flowers as a thank you and an apology for being a bridezilla. For the record, in the UK it's the 'done thing' for a weekend hen-do. And I'm not looking to 'go out on a 2 day bender with guys and shots'. I'm looking forward to a quiet night out in our small town and whatever 'lame' girly/movie/sleepover combo ensues after that.

    I came on this forum for friendly advice - not to be bullied, feel belittled, and be brought to tears. I think at some point, whether we're a soon-to-be bride, future, or past bride.. we've all or will have a bridezilla moment. No matter how big or silly the issue. Thankfully, this is the first and hopefully only one I have. But there's no need to handle other bride's 'freakout moments' in some ways I have read.

    I wish you girls nothing but the best in your wedding planning/marriage. Thank you for your advice.

    Xx
    biggrouchaleighbakerJamiea291Knottie32501435
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Good on you for realizing you were acting like a brat, admitting it, and apologizing for it.

    We gave you very blunt, honest opinions and I'm glad you read them and did some soul searching to realize you were in the wrong.

    No one bullied you. Yes you were called out, but you were not bullied.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    OliveOilsMomTeddiD34Blue_Bird
  • Enjoy what you are given by your bridesmaids. Period. As for the bully group on this forum - they always have each others backs and they suck and they always attack and make all who write here feel like idiots. Sadly, they do not support. Ignore them.
    aleighbakerDenise40Knottie13986838
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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
    MairePoppychibiyuiPrettyGirlLost
  • I refuse to believe you are a real person, OP.  Nobody on this planet is such a spoiled brat that they'd 'come to tears' over being told that demanding (yes demanding) an entire weekend for a bach party is rude, selfish, bratty, and high-maintenance.

    If there isn't a single braincell in your head that doesn't go "waitaminute, am I being a nasty little toddler over this?", then I give up on your humanity.



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    RebeccaB88
  • southernbelle0915 said:  You have been posting about how mean everyone is since 2011. Serious question: if you hate it so much, why do you stick around?

    Serious answer: I stick around because of the good advice that is given. I just don't like it when some of the advice is given in an rude, offensive way and then when the OPs complain, they are accused of "not hearing what they want to hear." I truly think that OPs want to hear advice even though it when may differ from their own, but not when it is said in a bitchy manner.

    NdeliblealeighbakerJamiea291jenijoyk
  • jackman36 said:

    southernbelle0915 said:  You have been posting about how mean everyone is since 2011. Serious question: if you hate it so much, why do you stick around?

    Serious answer: I stick around because of the good advice that is given. I just don't like it when some of the advice is given in an rude, offensive way and then when the OPs complain, they are accused of "not hearing what they want to hear." I truly think that OPs want to hear advice even though it when may differ from their own, but not when it is said in a bitchy manner.

    Fair enough. I respect that.
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  • Is this really about you not getting your 2 day bachelorette, or are you home sick and just wanted some extra time with your girls that you don't think will happen if it's not specifically planned as a bachelorette weekend?w
  • OP, graciously thank your friends who are arranging your events after they happen. Things don't always go as we have pictured them in our heads. Looking on the bright side is always a good tactic. Have as much fun as possible. Good luck.
    Happiness is an inside job
  • If you want a two day long celebration with your friends, you can have it. But you have to plan it and host it. Sure, maybe not every penny but it would have to be like any other weekend you'd plan with friends. Your friends are already planning a lovely bach party for you so don't overshadow that but you could organize a great weekend for another time. Invite your bridal party, plus other friends of yours and perhaps open it up for you friends to include their friends so you can meet more people. And then have an AMAZING time at the bach party your friends have planned and let them know how grateful you are!
  • Also speaking up for us Brits (born and raised and lived here all my life)... A bachelorette/hen party is often thrown by the bridesmaids, although this is not always the case, and some people have no such party at all. Any hen party I've ever come into contact with, is a night on the town with the girls, essentially harmlessly AWing (stop at this bar long enough for everyone to see I'm a bride-to-be and move on to the next), having a laugh with your best friends, crashing at whoever's house for movies and pizza, or going home, and falling asleep.
    Get up next morning, and go home (if you all stayed at someone else's).

    That's kinda it.

    Some girls head off for a weekend, but I've seen a lot more guys heading off to weekend events than girls
    short+sassy
  • Alright, so you're right. I am being a massive bridezilla and a pain the rear end and just plain immature. I agree and I have no problem admitting that. My two bridesmaids have done nothing but plan this surprise and I'm so excited to see what they have in store. I'm looking forward to buying my bridesmaids flowers as a thank you and an apology for being a bridezilla. For the record, in the UK it's the 'done thing' for a weekend hen-do. And I'm not looking to 'go out on a 2 day bender with guys and shots'. I'm looking forward to a quiet night out in our small town and whatever 'lame' girly/movie/sleepover combo ensues after that.

    I came on this forum for friendly advice - not to be bullied, feel belittled, and be brought to tears. I think at some point, whether we're a soon-to-be bride, future, or past bride.. we've all or will have a bridezilla moment. No matter how big or silly the issue. Thankfully, this is the first and hopefully only one I have. But there's no need to handle other bride's 'freakout moments' in some ways I have read.

    I wish you girls nothing but the best in your wedding planning/marriage. Thank you for your advice.

    Xx

    As a Brit I can tell you that it is NOT the norm to have a weekend long hen do/bachelorette. This whole weekend party thing is relatively new in the last 10yrs with the whole cheap flights thing. Maybe in the US that's how you do it, but in the uk, it costs significantly more to have a weekend thing, whereas in the US you can just drive to another state. You asked a question, didn't like the answer you got and so now a&e saying you're being bullied!? I think you need to look up the definition of the word. You lady, are clueless and a brat. We don't always get what we want. It's called compromise. And you better learn that before your wedding!
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    short+sassy
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