Groom's parents paying for the wedding

Knottie56142528

I'm the mother of the groom and my husband and I are paying for the majority of the wedding.  Everything I look up as far as etiquette is about the bride's parents (who aren't paying for a darn thing!).  Do I just flip the etiquette around as far as tradition goes such as the dress I choose to wear?  I would appreciate any and all comments on this subject!

Thanks

holyguacamole79

Knottie56142528 said:

I'm the mother of the groom and my husband and I are paying for the majority of the wedding.  Everything I look up as far as etiquette is about the bride's parents (who aren't paying for a darn thing!).  Do I just flip the etiquette around as far as tradition goes such as the dress I choose to wear?  I would appreciate any and all comments on this subject!

Thanks

Which tradition(s) are you referring to?

ohannabelle

I'm a little confused, too. 

The dress you choose to wear has nothing to do with etiquette- the mothers of both bride and groom wear what they choose, regardless of who's paying. 

Lauderdale Pink

I am not a super fan of etiquette, but more of doing what you feel is right and you can live with.  As MOB/FOB we paid for the wedding and 2 other parties, with minimal financial input from the groom's family.  Still we put all parents names on all invitations. When they hosted an event, they only put their names.  I put that in the "oh well" category.  As MOG/FOG we were told what the bride's family budget was and immediately sent a check for half that amount.  I have stayed out of planning because her mother is so good at it.  I basically did what I could for each of my children and their FIs and did not hang on the etiquette books.

NYCMercedes

Tradition and etiquette are two entirely different things. What are you reading?

southernbelle0915

Tradition is not the same thing as etiquette. It used to be tradition (not etiquette), the bride's parents paid for much of the wedding and groom's parents paid for the RD, but that's not the case any more.

No one is responsible for paying for the wedding except the couple. You don't need to pay a dime. If you WANT to, that's fine. The brides parents don't need to pay a dime. If they WANT to, fine. It's very generous of you to contribute but you should not expect anyone except your son and future daughter in law to pay for their own wedding.

Regarding the dress thing. It used to be tradition (not etiquette) that the MOB would pick her dress and then the MOG would pick hers. That isn't a thing any more. Pick whatever dress you want, whenever you want. MOB can do the same

Honestly, you sound bitter that the bride's parents aren't contributing. I really think you need to drop that attitude. Be an example for your son and your family. No one should be paying for the wedding except your son and FDIL. Contribute what you want, but keep your opinions about others' contributions or lack thereof to yourself. 

ETF: spelling

blabla89

Nowadays the tradition of the bride's parents paying for the wedding is pretty much out the window. Many of us paid/are paying for our weddings on our own. The opinion around here is that the bride and groom should not feel entitled to have their parents pay for any of the wedding, but should be extremely grateful if their parents offer to contribute any amount. So it is very generous of you to pay for most of the wedding. I do understand the frustration of contributing so much and feeling like the bride's family isn't doing anything, but really, neither set of parents is required to contribute anything.

As far as the dress, wear whatever makes you feel beautiful. What other etiquette/traditions are you wondering about?

climbingsingle

We need more info. What dress tradition? 

LittlePeachBlossom

I think you shouldn't worry about what MOB/FOB are paying for or not. Their finances are nobody's business. If you decided to host your children's wedding, that's absolutely 100% your decision. I'm sure both bride and groom are grateful for your generosity. Don't ruin it by judging her parents inability/unwillingness to contribute. The last thing anyone wants is feuding in-laws.

holyguacamole79

Knottie56142528!

CMGragain

How did I miss this one?

There is nothing wrong with the groom's parents offering to pay for the wedding.  Do you think Kate's parents paid for hers?  The only people who must ultimately pay for the wedding are the bride and groom.  You don't need to pay a cent, either.  That was your choice.
You can wear whatever you want to wear.