Wedding Woes

Mom is 'laughing' at our grief.

Dear Prudie,
My grandmother died recently. She was vicious and horrible to my mother (her daughter-in-law) for my parents’ entire marriage, but she and I had a good relationship. Ever since her death, my mother has sort of come unhinged. She wore red to the funeral and refused to stand in the receiving line, saying that she couldn’t accept anyone’s condolences with a straight face. I even heard her humming “Ding, dong, the witch is dead” the other day while she was cleaning out the condo. I understand her relief, but I miss my grandmother. What should I do? Wait it out and hope that she gets it out of her system soon? Tell her how much her attitude is hurting me and my dad? I’m truly at a loss.

—Grieved

Re: Mom is 'laughing' at our grief.

  • miniacminiac member
    Knottie Warrior 10 Comments
    edited August 2014
    Give her time to act out her feelings. Just because you had a good relationship with your grandma, doesn't mean she did. Her experience was totally different. She seems like she is grieving the fact that she wasn't able to reconcile with her mom before she died, or she must be horribly upset at the fact that her mother was able to have normal, loving relationships with others but not her own daughter. That's probably why she's become unhinged. I think you should try to be sympathetic towards her, but for now, maintain a little distance during your own time of grieving.
  • Oh that is awful. I mean I have an awful relationship with my MIL, she hates me and I am by far not her biggest fan. But I can't imagine acting that way to my husband or my kids, they love her very much.  I get your mom's anger, really I do, and I know how much it hurts when your Mother in Law is terrible to you but this seems a little harse on her part.

  • ^^^^ every time.
    image
  • this was a Gilmore Girls plot line. 
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