Open seating pros and cons

STPgirl88

I know this topic has been brought up before but I am wondering from people who have actually done open seating charts what they felt the pros and cons of not having a seating chart were. 

The wedding will be pretty casual, outdoor and we should have more table than we need so we could set out extras. There will be about 150 people. My worries with doing the seating chart are dealing with the wedding party, some family tension, and also that I don't really want to spend the time making a seating chart. With the wedding party, I know it can be considered rude to not seat them with their dates, but I don't think we have any tables big enough for all of them, us, and their dates. Plus one of the groomsmen has a gf who I'd rather not side by/interact with much. My family also has some tension and I feel like if they can decide where to sit then we can avoid people sitting next to people they dislike. 

So, how did it work out at other people's weddings?

beethery

You don't have to seat the entire WP together, just WP members and their dates. You also don't have to even sit with the WP.

Seating charts don't take that long to make. You just have to figure out people's circles and seat them accordingly.

Assigned seating (or at least table assignments) is a good thing to have. Not required, but definitely helpful.

JoanE2012

STPgirl88 said:

I know this topic has been brought up before but I am wondering from people who have actually done open seating charts what they felt the pros and cons of not having a seating chart were. 

The wedding will be pretty casual, outdoor and we should have more table than we need so we could set out extras. There will be about 150 people. My worries with doing the seating chart are dealing with the wedding party, some family tension, and also that I don't really want to spend the time making a seating chart. With the wedding party, I know it can be considered rude to not seat them with their dates, but I don't think we have any tables big enough for all of them, us, and their dates. Plus one of the groomsmen has a gf who I'd rather not side by/interact with much. My family also has some tension and I feel like if they can decide where to sit then we can avoid people sitting next to people they dislike. 

So, how did it work out at other people's weddings?

I hate open seating.  Even if there are extra seats, it's still uncomfortable and awkward trying to walk around finding people you know or asking if you can sit somewhere.  I think assigning tables is the kind thing to do for your guests and is part of being a good host.  You can seat the wedding party at multiple tables (perhaps with other friends) and keep tensed family members apart.  Doing a seating chart does not have to be difficult or time consuming.

Jen4948

I always prefer assigned tables.  As @beethery says, it's not hard to make a seating chart.

With open seating, everyone has to find a seat somewhere, and what tends to happen is that people "reserve" seats for their friends and relatives by placing their things on them and telling anyone else looking for seats that those seats are not available.  (They do this sometimes even without putting things on the seats.)  Then anyone looking for a seat has to move on to look somewhere else, and when there are whole tables "reserved" and people don't know others there, it can make them feel like kids in a school cafeteria who have been "cliqued" out.  It's an unpleasant feeling.

Not to mention, if you have open seating, you need extra seating by about 10% to accommodate all the people who are forced out of the "reserved" seats.

By assigning tables (but not specific seats), you can at least make sure that:
1) there is a seat for everyone,
2) people with mobility issues, hearing issues, language translation or sign language needs, etc. are accommodated,
3) people with bad blood between them are not seated together,
4) SOs are not separated from each other and minor children are not seated away from parents,
5) people with common relatives and interests can be seated together.

STPgirl88

Really? That's good to know. I've always liked weddings where I can sit anywhere but it sounds like I might be in the minority. Assigning tables seems like an easier idea. Thanks everyone!

atlastmrsg

Open seating feels like middle school.  It gives me mild anxiety about who I'm going to sit with and if they want me to sit there, especially at coworkers' weddings or weddings for distant relatives I don't know well.  You don't have to do placecards--you could just group people--ie: these 8 people at table 1, these 8 people at table 2, etc.  Then they know where they're going, but they can figure out which chair.

peachy13

I've honestly never been to a wedding with open seating, but if I had, it would probably cause me to revert back to 9th grade lunch, anxiously trying to find a seat at a table with someone I know.

With 150 guests, I think it will be a lot better to assign people to tables. I would say you should keep your WP with their dates, but you definitely don't have to sit with your whole WP (and their dates), you can space everyone out and it'll be okay. In the end, they're really only sitting there for a little while during dinner. GL!

climbingsingle

As a guest, I've always disliked open seating.

theartistformerlyknownas

I hate open seating as a guest. I feel so uncomfortable trying to find a seat... like Forrest Gump trying to find a seat on the school bus.

Once when I was a BM, there were so many guests who showed up without RSVPing that by the time we got there after pictures, there wasn't a seat for us. They had to set up extra tables on the balcony. We missed all the toasts/dances/etc.

bridesmaidlongisland

Not a big fan of open seating. 

hales2010

lolo883 said:

I hate open seating as a guest. I feel so uncomfortable trying to find a seat... like Forrest Gump trying to find a seat on the school bus.

Once when I was a BM, there were so many guests who showed up without RSVPing that by the time we got there after pictures, there wasn't a seat for us. They had to set up extra tables on the balcony. We missed all the toasts/dances/etc.

See this is my fear about doing a seating chart is someone showing up with a date that is not on the guest list. I am also on the fence about open seating. I have seen open seating go really bad at a wedding before where we had to wait for seats because people who did not rsvp showed up and there were not enough seats. I am just wondering how to handle that because the last thing I want to deal with on my wedding day is an unhappy guest who brings a last minute date,

jenijoyk

 hales2010 said:

lolo883 said:

I hate open seating as a guest. I feel so uncomfortable trying to find a seat... like Forrest Gump trying to find a seat on the school bus.

Once when I was a BM, there were so many guests who showed up without RSVPing that by the time we got there after pictures, there wasn't a seat for us. They had to set up extra tables on the balcony. We missed all the toasts/dances/etc.

See this is my fear about doing a seating chart is someone showing up with a date that is not on the guest list. I am also on the fence about open seating. I have seen open seating go really bad at a wedding before where we had to wait for seats because people who did not rsvp showed up and there were not enough seats. I am just wondering how to handle that because the last thing I want to deal with on my wedding day is an unhappy guest who brings a last minute date,

As the bride you shouldn't have to deal with it. Just ignore it. If someone is rude and crashes your wedding that's on them. And I bet you won't even notice.

theartistformerlyknownas

That person would be a crasher. They shouldn't be entitled to a seat at the expense of an invited guest who RSVP'ed appropriately. The escort cards would be their clue that there wasn't a seat for them, and they would have to ask the coordinator for help.