Can I be Psycho for a Moment (again?)

Blergbot

I think a spa vacation sounds like a fabulous idea. Treat yoself!

IrishPirate60

My suggestion, since you're in California, find yourself a Zen Buddhist monastery. They won't be celebrating Christmas. It will be quiet, meditative, peaceful, and probably somewhere in the woods.

raissyrais

Well on the other side, don't feel bad, because I'm a 0 and now I have to go look for 00,000 or -1 (those don't exist yet but I'm sure they will!!). Those sizes don't mean anything. You are beautiful no matter what! And you don't have to have Christmas if you don't want to! 

jenna8984

Definitely screw sizing! My friend is a 0 in jeans yet her wedding gown was a 10! Then I'm over here with a bootylicious size 8 bum and I had to get a 2 for her bridesmaid dress. She was like bawling that I was a 2 and she was a 10 even though she's 30 pounds less than me! Makes NO sense. And hell to the yea with the trip. Do you want it to be warm? If it doesn't have to be, I went to Seattle for Christmas one year and it was fantastic. Lots of cool shit to see, like the underground tour omg so cool! And ferry over to Victoria Canada beautiful. But I love the other suggestions too- Sedona I just stayed in a B&B with the world's most comfy bed EVER, Hawaii yes please!! Sometimes the trip is worth more than the savings account.

ElcaB

BM dresses are THE WORST with sizing. You know this, so forget about it. 

I say SKIP CHRISTMAS! It sounds like you could definitely use a worry-free vacation, and if you're already anticipating/dreading the emotions that will come with Christmas, it sounds like the perfect solution. 

Warning #1, though: Everyone will probably have kittens when they find out, and you may be subject to (rude & unnecessary) questioning about why you're not participating. Still, though, you should carry on with whatever plans will make you happiest. 

Warning #2: Do you plan on vacationing/traveling alone? You may find yourself wishing for company, especially during a time that's about togetherness & family celebrating the season. Just something to consider. 

beachyone15

Have you been to Arizona? Not sure if you like to shop (it always cheers me up a bit), but there is some awesome shopping (oh, and FOOD) in Scottsdale!

KatieinBkln

It's totally normal to have a hard time over the holidays after going through a difficult time. You are NOT weird for wanting to avoid it. I love all of these vacation ideas!

This is just my caveat (and I am sorry if you have already mentioned that you're doing this stuff in previous posts, ignore me if so!): Please do consider seeing a counselor/therapist to help work through some of the divorce stuff. My little sister got divorced this year (although they separated last fall) and her counselor has been a great help to her. I think she's cut back to every other week at this point, but it's been so good for her to have someone neutral to talk with--lord knows her family (and even to a certain extent, HIS family) are more likely to say "Fuck that guy!" which is sometimes what she needs, but not always. 

Oh, and feel free to splurge on spa stuff, massages, and anything else that makes you feel good. Self-care is important, and if skipping the family thing is what you need to do to take care of yourself, go forth and skip it with no guilt!

emmaaa

The PPs are right, as usual. Screw clothing sizes. I wear tops from a small to an extra large and pants from a 6 to 14. If you look good, that's all that matters! You're beautiful no matter what number that tag has on it and your value does not equate to clothing size!

If you feel like you need some time to yourself around the holidays, I don't see a problem with a vacation. I'm sure your family would understand. I like CMG's idea of a cruise and just relax and treat yourself!

I'm sorry you are going through this but I think by recognizing you need to have some time to take care of yourself is the best thing you can do.

[Deleted User]

I've found at quite a few stores that the exact same item can vary in size. My vanity sometimes has me bringing in 3 of the same style/size pants and they all fit differently.
A friend of mine is going through a divorce and remembering all of the good times. Do you have someone that can remind you of the not so great times? No one that bashes him, it usually back fires but someone that can remind you of the better life you get to have now?
Christmas in Mexico is wonderful! A lot of the population is Christian so Christmas will be present but the big day tends to be the Day of Kings/Epiphany and you'll be back home by then. The food is great, people are nice, and it's not far from you. Pretty much anywhere in Mexico is my favorite vacation place.

wandajune6

I love the vacation or volunteering idea. Volunteering has helped me through various dark phases in my life.

As for sizes, seriously, don't worry about it. I just found a dress on Zulily that I wanted that I had to order in a 6x. I normally wear between 16-20 and that just destroyed my self-esteem. There may have been some hormones going on but FI had to calm down some crying. I would have left it alone had I not thought it would be perfect for an upcoming event.

flyingfoxes

I second the cruise idea!  Cruise around somewhere warm, get yo'self a massage on board, buy a booze package, and relax either on a beach at port, or sunbathe on the top deck. 

 

I cannot WAIT to get FI on a cruise someday. 

hellosweetie1015

Get the FUCK outta Dodge. You can't handle Christmas right now? That's completely understandable, totally fine, get thee to Hawaii or Vancouver or Fiji, wherever you think you would be happiest. Hop a cruise, take a road trip. Whatever you think you'll need. Your family will certainly understand. They may not be 100% happy with it - but they will understand. 

I spent the Christmas after my 18th birthday buried in headphones and a hoodie, ignoring everyone and hiding outside in the "cold". I opened presents just to please people, and other than the hoodie and the iPod that I hid in/with I couldn't tell you for the life of me what I got. If I'd been a legal adult with a driver's license and money, there's no way in hell I would have put myself and my family through that. It fucking sucked. 

Also: screw the number on the dress. You look fabulous in it. (Unless it is one of those hideous "I'm the bride and I have to be prettiest so you bridesmaids all get sucky dresses" dresses, in which case you are the most fabulous-looking person to wear that hideous dress.)