bridesmaid gifts..

JenniferKyle906

So I am giving my girls a pearl necklace and earring set to wear during the wedding and also cute flip flops for dancing! I feel like it is not enough though but I am running out of ideas. Any suggestions? Also I am extremely last minute (I work like crazy!) As my wedding is September 6th. And any ideas how make the packaging of the gifts cute?

holyguacamole79

JenniferKyle906 said:

So I am giving my girls a pearl necklace and earring set to wear during the wedding and also cute flip flops for dancing! I feel like it is not enough though but I am running out of ideas. Any suggestions? Also I am extremely last minute (I work like crazy!) As my wedding is September 6th. And any ideas how make the packaging of the gifts cute?

Anything that is part of the wedding "outfit" really isn't a gift.  I was a BM earlier this year and the bride did the same thing (gave me a pearl necklace to wear during the wedding).  I have another necklace JUST like it, so the second one really wasn't a helpful / useful gift.  Also, I'm a flip-flop snob (I love my Reefs), so I wouldn't do much with those flip-flops.  I know I'm not your bridesmaid, but I just wanted to give you some perspective.

Shop for her like it's her birthday.  Check out this thread for an idea (forums.theknot.com/discussion/1036937/nature-box-gift). 

Don't worry about making the packaging cute.  Focus your energy on getting her a gift she'll actually like.

levioosa

Ditto sarahbear.  Shop for them like you would a birthday present.  Make it personalized.  Many people don't even like or wear pearls.  

JCbride2015

Also ditto Sarahbear.  If you give them something that they must wear during the wedding, that's not really a gift for them.  It's really something for yourself since you want them to wear it as part of their wedding-day uniform for pictures, etc.  The flip flops are not really much of a gift.  Would you give them flip flops for their birthday?  Probably not, right?

You're right that you don't really have enough for a great "thank you" gift.  Just shop for each girl like it was her birthday and get something you think she would genuinely enjoy.  It doesn't have to be wedding-related, and the gifts don't have to be the same for each BM.  As long as you spend roughly the same amount of money on each person, get something individual that they would like.

AddieCake

Ditto PPs. I wouldn't like any of those things, so I wouldn't be very enthusiastic if I got those as gifts.

jackannlu

I was in my friends large BP (8), three of which were her sisters. Only her sisters were there when they picked out the BM dresses and she never asked what our budgets were. The dress was $200+. And then she gave us a necklace for our thank you gift that we were to wear at the wedding. I've never worn the necklace again. There are better thank you gifts out there. 

bridesmaidlongisland

I like both pearls and flip flops so I would be happy with getting them as a gift. But I understand PPs views on getting them something each personal. Not everyone likes those things.

Lauderdale Pink

A gift is a gift and should be accepted in the manner with which it was given.  Pearls. although not everybody's favorite, are a very nice, feminine gift.  If you want to add to that, however, have you thought about treating for hair and/or makeup for the wedding?  It's not a "tangible" gift, but does help a BM with the expenses and is usually appreciated.  My age may be showing here, but I just don't love the trend of flip flops at a wedding.  Sorry.

[Deleted User]

Since so far you've just bought them more wedding outfit, how about stuff specifically not for the wedding? Like a obscene cross stitch for the friend with a dark sense of humor, and gift card to the movies for the film buff? Maybe the athletic one would like a day trip to a rock climbing wall and the artsy one could use some new brushes? Like others have said, shop like you're buying them a birthday gift. Set a loose budget so you spend relatively the same amount on each girl.

holyguacamole79

Lauderdale Pink said:

A gift is a gift and should be accepted in the manner with which it was given.  Pearls. although not everybody's favorite, are a very nice, feminine gift.  If you want to add to that, however, have you thought about treating for hair and/or makeup for the wedding?  It's not a "tangible" gift, but does help a BM with the expenses and is usually appreciated.  My age may be showing here, but I just don't love the trend of flip flops at a wedding.  Sorry.

I love wearing pearls. I already have 2 pearl necklaces. I didn't want / need a third. 

 While treating for hair / makeup is a nice gesture, it is something that essentially benefits the bride. It's professional hair & makeup for HER wedding, after all. I've always done my own hair & makeup as a bridesmaid, and I'd like to think I looked good.

ETA:  sure, I graciously accepted the gifts and said thank you.  I'm just passing on this insight to other brides.

MyNameIsNot

Those are not gifts.  Those are wedding accessories.

A gift is something chosen specifically for the recipient.  Wedding jewelry isn't a gift any more than their bouquet is.  You should buy actual gifts for them.  They don't need to be expensive, but they do need to be thoughtful.  

Viczaesar

Lauderdale Pink said:

A gift is a gift and should be accepted in the manner with which it was given.  Pearls. although not everybody's favorite, are a very nice, feminine gift.  If you want to add to that, however, have you thought about treating for hair and/or makeup for the wedding?  It's not a "tangible" gift, but does help a BM with the expenses and is usually appreciated.  My age may be showing here, but I just don't love the trend of flip flops at a wedding.  Sorry.

A gift is a gift and should be chosen with the receiver's personality and likes in mind, not based on the giver's desire for pretty pictures.

Jen4948

Hairdos, makeup, jewelry, and accessories that you mean them to wear or use for your wedding is not gifts to your bridesmaids, even if you are paying for them.  They are a part of the designated attire, just like the dresses.

I'd stop worrying about whether or not your selections are "cute" and think about what your bridesmaids actually like and would appreciate on an individual basis-that isn't related to your wedding.  Then and only then would I go out and buy or make them gifts.  Nor do they have to be presented in some "cute" packaging or theatrical presentation.  Many people don't appreciate that anyway.

Jenhappyhatton

I'm getting everyone a pair of Uggs I do slippers - figured they would like them for after the wedding, but ties into the wedding theme.  Also, each one will get a small, fun, gift that is an inside joke between us. 

atlastmrsg

If all else fails, buy them alcohol.  A bottle of something nice--not $2-chuck.

banana468

Lauderdale Pink said:

A gift is a gift and should be accepted in the manner with which it was given.  Pearls. although not everybody's favorite, are a very nice, feminine gift.  If you want to add to that, however, have you thought about treating for hair and/or makeup for the wedding?  It's not a "tangible" gift, but does help a BM with the expenses and is usually appreciated.  My age may be showing here, but I just don't love the trend of flip flops at a wedding.  Sorry.

If strings are attached (no pun intended) and the gift is to be worn at the wedding, it ceases being a gift. 

Pearls are a great gift IF they fit the recipient and there's no requirement to wear them.   

sarahufl

I hate pearls.

holyguacamole79

scribe95 said:

This bridesmaid gift issue has changed in recent years so I think a lot of women aren't aware of the shop-like-it's-their-birthday rule.

I was in 10 weddings and I got jewelry for the wedding every single time. Eight years ago when I got married I got my girls jewelry - now they were different for each girl to match their personality and they didn't have to wear them for the wedding (two did and two didn't) but I had no idea at the time it was a faux pas. Live and learn.

I was in a wedding in May and my gifts were jewelry & a hair accessory to wear for the wedding.

But then again, I didn't know about this guideline when I bought gifts for my bridal party for my early 2013 wedding.  I wish I had!

ETA:  I got mine nice bags from Thirty-One, wine glasses, and pashminas.  The pashminas weren't intended to be worn at the wedding, but they ended up doing so because a few of them were self-conscious about their arms.

manateehugger

@jenior220 what a fucking terrible gift lol. You're asking a world full of strangers to creep on your FB profile. Also, you can't advertise here.

@Scribe95, banhammer please!

[Deleted User]

sarahufl said:

I hate pearls.

I hate necklaces.  I feel like I'm being choked.  And I hate the weight on the back of my neck.

scribe95 said:

This bridesmaid gift issue has changed in recent years so I think a lot of women aren't aware of the shop-like-it's-their-birthday rule.

I was in 10 weddings and I got jewelry for the wedding every single time. Eight years ago when I got married I got my girls jewelry - now they were different for each girl to match their personality and they didn't have to wear them for the wedding (two did and two didn't) but I had no idea at the time it was a faux pas. Live and learn.

See, but this I wouldn't mind.  If you're my close friend, you know I'm completely gaga for crazy, blinged-out dangly earrings.  And if you're a REALLY close friend, you know I've been looking for a simple everyday cute silver bracelet.  If you got me these two things, not only would I wear them to your wedding because they're so damn awesome, but I'd wear them for the next couple weeks too (well, maybe not the earrings as I'd have to change it up occasionally).  But if you thought about their personalities when picking them out, that doesn't count as their wedding "uniform".

wandajune6

I got my BMs matching long strands of black freshwater pearls with these clasp-thingies that help them wear them however they like. They aren't super-fancy but they can be worn easily and my feelings won't be hurt if no one wants to wear them. They also get matching pashminas in our wedding color (burgundy) in case it gets cold. I bought these pieces since everyone was concerned that they wouldn't match well enough (I just told them to choose shorter black dresses).

Then I got them their 'real' gifts: a subscription to Birchbox for the makeup lover, fancy spa stuff (and free babysitting) for the new mom, kitchen toys for the cook, etc.

Each of my ladies is special and unique so the same gifts wouldn't appeal to everyone.