do I need a bridal shower?

pinklilly122

Is it necessary to have a bridal shower? Is there a point other than getting together with friends and receiving gifts, which people will give at the wedding anyway? Just curious, I was thinking of not having one.

beethery

You can decline offers to throw showers that your friends/family might make.

Simply Fated

pinklilly122 said:

Is it necessary to have a bridal shower? Is there a point other than getting together with friends and receiving gifts, which people will give at the wedding anyway? Just curious, I was thinking of not having one.

Bridal showers are certainly not necessary.
If it's not something that appeals to you, then it's absolutely fine to skip it. If someone offers to throw you one, just politely decline.

holyguacamole79

Yes. If you don't have one, your marriage is DOOMED. Just kidding. Totally extraneous.

CMGragain

No.  Bridal showers are given for you by other people.  It is OK to decline them.  Everyone who is invited to a bridal shower must also be invited to the wedding.  My daughter didn't have a bridal shower.

RebeccaFlower

I honestly side eye people who have showers but have homes full of perfectly good household items (since showers are gift giving events, not gift cards or honeymoon fund event). If you don't need household items, don't have a shower. Perfectly acceptable. 

AddieCake

RebeccaFlower said:

I honestly side eye people who have showers but have homes full of perfectly good household items (since showers are gift giving events, not gift cards or honeymoon fund event). If you don't need household items, don't have a shower. Perfectly acceptable. 

I don't think this is fair. Lots of people have homes full of "perfectly good" household items but still want or need additional items or upgrades.

holyguacamole79

RebeccaFlower said:

I honestly side eye people who have showers but have homes full of perfectly good household items (since showers are gift giving events, not gift cards or honeymoon fund event). If you don't need household items, don't have a shower. Perfectly acceptable. 

I had my own house for 7 years before I got married. I had furnished it, but I definitely was ready for upgrades. Family friends graciously offered to host a shower for me, and I accepted. Side-eye away.

Nymeru

You definitely don't have to have a shower if you don't feel comfortable with it or find it be be hassle (an amazing amount of stress/drama went into mine).  Do whatever feels best to you.

lilacck28

Agree with above. It's not necessary, and you can decline. 

 Something to think about though: I thought about declining showers, as my Fiance and I have lived together for 2 years and have the basics, but my FMIL has mentioned multiple times that she wants to throw me one. I want to keep FMIL happy. My mom recently told me that my aunt might want to throw me one for that side of the family. I was like.. "TWO SHOWERS? WHAT?" And my mom was all "your aunt is sick. If she wants to throw you a shower, let her throw you a shower. She's not going to offer to throw one for you while she has cancer because she feels obligated. Showers are not always about gifts. They are about having happy celebrations that the rest of your family can enjoy." 

 And she's right. I was not that opposed to a shower that I would say no to either my FMIL or my aunt. Decide how important it is to you to not have one vs. how important it seems to be to your friend/ family member who wants to throw one for you. Do what feels right to you, shower or no. 

ETA paragraphs

JellyBean52513

pinklilly122 said:

Is it necessary to have a bridal shower? Is there a point other than getting together with friends and receiving gifts, which people will give at the wedding anyway? Just curious, I was thinking of not having one.

Juuust in case... as to your last sentence, OP, you should only have one if someone offers to host one for you. You shouldn't "have one" if it means you'd be planning it yourself

Edited to clarify

CMGragain

RebeccaFlower said:

I honestly side eye people who have showers but have homes full of perfectly good household items (since showers are gift giving events, not gift cards or honeymoon fund event). If you don't need household items, don't have a shower. Perfectly acceptable. 

This is just wrong.  A bridal shower is a gift giving party given for the bride by her friends and relatives.  It has no bearing on what she owns, or does not own.  I have been married 38 years, and have no plans to change my status, but I could use new sheets, towels and blankets!

indianaalum

RebeccaFlower said:

I honestly side eye people who have showers but have homes full of perfectly good household items (since showers are gift giving events, not gift cards or honeymoon fund event). If you don't need household items, don't have a shower. Perfectly acceptable. 

Totally unfair. I was 40 when I got married, so of course, I lived on my own for years. I also spent the last 20 years going to OTHER people's showers and was finally excited I would be able to have my own.  I didn't "plan" to take so long to get married, so I feel hurt that you think people who already have houses don't "deserve" to have a shower. Upgrades are always nice...and there are always things that people won't just buy on their own, but loving having if they are "gifts" 

pinkshorts27

indianaalum said:

RebeccaFlower said:

I honestly side eye people who have showers but have homes full of perfectly good household items (since showers are gift giving events, not gift cards or honeymoon fund event). If you don't need household items, don't have a shower. Perfectly acceptable. 

Totally unfair. I was 40 when I got married, so of course, I lived on my own for years. I also spent the last 20 years going to OTHER people's showers and was finally excited I would be able to have my own.  I didn't "plan" to take so long to get married, so I feel hurt that you think people who already have houses don't "deserve" to have a shower. Upgrades are always nice...and there are always things that people won't just buy on their own, but loving having if they are "gifts" 

And if you have been on your own, things might not be styled as your FI likes.

LadyMillil

I live across the country from my family so it didn't make sense to have a shower, and I didn't want to deal with transporting gifts across the country. A few family members did give me 2 gifts at the wedding with one labelled as shower gift. It is fine not to have a shower. I believe a bridal tea or brunch is more of a get together to celebrate and less of a gift giving occasion, so that could be an option.

Ndelible

Themed showers used to be in vogue back in the 80s (kitchen, honeymoon, lingerie, etc.,), if you don't need household items, perhaps something like that?  Or just a bridal tea or brunch.  If you take "shower" out of the title, it automatically ceases being a gift giving occasion.  IMO, showers have morphed into a kind of casual event to get together and chat, have fun and socialize.  If that sounds good to you, accept that kind of event.

Good luck and congratulations!