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Well, that was sufficiently awkward

My step-mom had a small get-together and wanted to get all of her grandchildren together at the same time. My oldest sister no longer talks to twin sis or me. It was so ridiculous.  I don't know why the family has to try to get us together, when there is so much tension, you have to cut it with a chainsaw. How is that enjoyable for anyone? It is my step-mom's house, so she can invite whomever she wants.  Next time, though, I will decline, unless it is a large birthday party or wedding to soak up some of that deafening silence.
  I mean is it awkward for no one else when you say hi to someone and they don't answer you? Is it awkward for no one else when she ignores my nephew and shoos him away, because she is not allowed to consort with us or our spawn, nor is her daughter allowed to play with him.  It was like a three hour game of keep away. Children, naturally want to play with other children, and are curious about them. I think it would be much harder for my nephew to understand when he gets older that he cannot play with her daughter or talk to her, when he sees her.  The ridiculousness of it all!
   It is just sad, to me, that my sister has cut my step-mom out of her life, several times, because her husband doesn't like her. Now, they are willing to talk to her because my step-mom gives gifts for her daughter. I know my step-mom is a free person to get hurt when my sister stops talking to her, again. You just have to let people learn for themselves. (I don't try and tell my step-mom what I think of my sister.   In fact, I never say one negative word about her to people who are, still in contact with her.  When people talk about seeing her, I don't shush them, because I don't want our situation to make them feel uncomfortable or feel bad about liking her.... as much as these conversations annoy me). However, it just hurts when I have appreciated my step-mom for the person she is, all of these years, and I have never turned my back on her.  Now, I am the one who has to step away from these events, and miss out, for the fair weather step-daughter. I got little sleep, last night,.. I have very little family left, and I feel like I am being pushed out, the rest of the way.
    I guess that's why my rift with her bothers me so much. It's not her, that I feel badly about, it is my time with the rest of my family. They all chose her first, because they know how delicate their relationship is. So they tiptoe on eggshells and pacify her,  because they know their relationship could be next on the chopping block. My twin sister and I were the only ones who have had enough of the revolving door. Just a very crappy situation.

Re: Well, that was sufficiently awkward

  • I might've missed something, but why can't your nephew play with her daughter?  Why are the kids caught up in this?
  • She doesn't talk to us, she is not allowed to associate with us.  Her husband decides who remains in her life.  Apparently, this extends to the children, she and her daughter are not to associate with us or our families. If I had children of my own, I would never come around becase I just think that is unhealthy to a child that there is one person that won't talk to them, will shoo them away with their foot, if they lean up against them... and they will never know why. FFS
  • I may be putting words in Muffin's mouth, but I think the sister's husband forbade the sister and her daughter to have any contact with Muffin and MuffinTwin. I think that's what I read from her other posts.

    Muffin, I'm so sorry. I wish I had some advice for you, but I don't. I just have hugs. All the hugs. 
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    themuffinman16

  • She doesn't talk to us, she is not allowed to associate with us.  Her husband decides who remains in her life.  Apparently, this extends to the children, she and her daughter are not to associate with us or our families. If I had children of my own, I would never come around becase I just think that is unhealthy to a child that there is one person that won't talk to them, will shoo them away with their foot, if they lean up against them... and they will never know why. FFS
    Are you kidding me!?!  She will actually shoo away your nephew with her foot?  Won't communicate with them?  Who does that to a child!?   Does she squash butterflies and daffodils for fun too?!
  • Well, how else do you get a one year old away from you and your daughter when you aren't allowed to talk to him?  (Heavy, heavy sarcasm.)
  • Wow.  You are strong for staying there/not losing it. 




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  • The way she treated my nephew infuriated me. And to think of all the crap my family gave me for not inviting her to our wedding.... seriously? 
    debbeau
  • I would have had a hard time biting my tongue. Family politics be damned, I go full-on Mama Bear mode where my nieces and nephews are concerned.

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    themuffinman16
  • I'd also have a hard time not saying anything when crappy treatment of kids is involved.   At this point can you say, "Step-mom, I love you but I can't come to events like this when I see sis literally kick the nephew away.   I'm not asking you to pick between us but I do need to let you know that I can't put myself in this situation either." 
    lurkergirlthemuffinman16OliveOilsMom
  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2014
    I can kind of relate. I have a big section of my family in a cult right now. Before they got into the cult completely, the kids were not allowed to play with my siblings and I. I thought something was wrong with me! They have completely shut us out when we used to be so close. It's really sad.

    You gotta lay down the law with your step-mom and sister because her treating the kids is unacceptable. 
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    themuffinman16
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