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So, now that ex-FSIL won't be doing a reading at the ceremony...

climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
in Chit Chat
Should I ask someone else? Or should I just scrap the reading? I don't want anyone to feel like second choice.
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Re: So, now that ex-FSIL won't be doing a reading at the ceremony...

  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Would they know they'd be second choice? I don't think there's much harm in B-listing a reader since normally nobody even knows who those people are or expects to be selected by a certain date. But there's also nothing wrong with scrapping the reading.
    image
    image
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    How much do you care about this reading?  If it is super important to both you and your FI then ask someone else.  If not, then scrap it.

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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Not many people knew she was doing a reading. It's not super important to us. But now I worry the ceremony will be too short. 
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  • AlexaF2014AlexaF2014 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Not many people knew she was doing a reading. It's not super important to us. But now I worry the ceremony will be too short. 
    Don't do something (reading, unity candle, sand ceremony, etc) just to lengthen the ceremony; if it's there, it should be important. 

    That said, I think some churches (Catholic churches, that I know of) require readings at wedding ceremonies. I don't think it's wrong to replace a reader, just do it for the right reasons. 
    image
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  • LittlePeachBlossomLittlePeachBlossom member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    Maybe you can just have the officiant do the reading. Would FSIL out you and tell everyone she was supposed to do the reading and make it a big deal? If the officiant can also do the reading, I think it'll avoid the previous scenario without needing to change the ceremony itself.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    AlexaF2014 said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Not many people knew she was doing a reading. It's not super important to us. But now I worry the ceremony will be too short. 
    Don't do something (reading, unity candle, sand ceremony, etc) just to lengthen the ceremony; if it's there, it should be important. 

    That said, I think some churches (Catholic churches, that I know of) require readings at wedding ceremonies. I don't think it's wrong to replace a reader, just do it for the right reasons. 
    We're not religious and are having no religious aspects included in our ceremony. No unity candle or anything like that. Our ceremony is out our venue in their garden. 

    I didn't choose her to do a reading just to lengthen the ceremony. She actually is an amazing writer and I asked her to write something for us. but again, that won't be happening now. 

    I do have some poems that I adore and I think it would be cool to have them read. 
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    LittlePeachBlossom said:
    Maybe you can just have the officiant do the reading. Would FSIL out you and tell everyone she was supposed to do the reading and make it a big deal? If the officiant can also do the reading, I think it'll avoid the previous scenario without needing to change the ceremony itself.
    Ex-FSIL is now in a psych ward, so I don't think she'll be out before the wedding. There's no much of a chance she'll out me. 
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    It's okay. I will compose an original poem, write it on a chalkboard in a cutesy font, then read it at your wedding - but only if I can come in head-to-toe burlap.
    ~*~*~*~*~

    Report Reply
  • AlexaF2014AlexaF2014 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    AlexaF2014 said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Not many people knew she was doing a reading. It's not super important to us. But now I worry the ceremony will be too short. 
    Don't do something (reading, unity candle, sand ceremony, etc) just to lengthen the ceremony; if it's there, it should be important. 

    That said, I think some churches (Catholic churches, that I know of) require readings at wedding ceremonies. I don't think it's wrong to replace a reader, just do it for the right reasons. 
    We're not religious and are having no religious aspects included in our ceremony. No unity candle or anything like that. Our ceremony is out our venue in their garden. 

    I didn't choose her to do a reading just to lengthen the ceremony. She actually is an amazing writer and I asked her to write something for us. but again, that won't be happening now. 

    I do have some poems that I adore and I think it would be cool to have them read. 
    "Adore" = important to me. As long as FI is on board, go for it then!

    Also, I read what happened to Ex-FSIL. Yikes. It stinks that you won't have the reading she wrote you, but if it's important to you and FI to have something said at the ceremony, I don't think it's wrong (given the circumstances) to have someone else do the reading/poem.
    image
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    It's okay. I will compose an original poem, write it on a chalkboard in a cutesy font, then read it at your wedding - but only if I can come in head-to-toe burlap.
    Your are a life-saver girl! Can we put you in this sack and have you hop down the aisle??

    image
    Oh, heck yea! Do you want me to man the guest book and honeymoon jar too, or should I just read my saccharine-sweet cutesy poem before MCing the dollar dance?
    ~*~*~*~*~

    Report Reply
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2014
    Cookie Pusher said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    It's okay. I will compose an original poem, write it on a chalkboard in a cutesy font, then read it at your wedding - but only if I can come in head-to-toe burlap.
    Your are a life-saver girl! Can we put you in this sack and have you hop down the aisle??

    image
    Oh, heck yea! Do you want me to man the guest book and honeymoon jar too, or should I just read my saccharine-sweet cutesy poem before MCing the dollar dance?
    Oh, you also have to cut and serve the cake. Smooches!
    Report Reply
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    It's okay. I will compose an original poem, write it on a chalkboard in a cutesy font, then read it at your wedding - but only if I can come in head-to-toe burlap.
    Your are a life-saver girl! Can we put you in this sack and have you hop down the aisle??

    image
    Oh, heck yea! Do you want me to man the guest book and honeymoon jar too, or should I just read my saccharine-sweet cutesy poem before MCing the dollar dance?
    Oh, you also have to cut and serve the cake. Smooches!
    Anything for you, girl! Just don't forget to put out a tip jar for me!
    ~*~*~*~*~

    Report Reply
  • afox007afox007 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Cookie Pusher said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    It's okay. I will compose an original poem, write it on a chalkboard in a cutesy font, then read it at your wedding - but only if I can come in head-to-toe burlap.
    Your are a life-saver girl! Can we put you in this sack and have you hop down the aisle??

    image
    Oh, heck yea! Do you want me to man the guest book and honeymoon jar too, or should I just read my saccharine-sweet cutesy poem before MCing the dollar dance?
    Oh, you also have to cut and serve the cake. Smooches!
    Anything for you, girl! Just don't forget to put out a tip jar for me!
    If you need extra help let me know I found the perfect dress! image
    image
    Report Reply
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Have the reader and reading only if you want that as part of your ceremony. Your FSIL and all that happened with her should have no bearing on what choice you make now re your ceremony.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    afox007 said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    It's okay. I will compose an original poem, write it on a chalkboard in a cutesy font, then read it at your wedding - but only if I can come in head-to-toe burlap.
    Your are a life-saver girl! Can we put you in this sack and have you hop down the aisle??

    image
    Oh, heck yea! Do you want me to man the guest book and honeymoon jar too, or should I just read my saccharine-sweet cutesy poem before MCing the dollar dance?
    Oh, you also have to cut and serve the cake. Smooches!
    Anything for you, girl! Just don't forget to put out a tip jar for me!
    If you need extra help let me know I found the perfect dress! image
    Hey, I found the best earrings for that dress!
    image
    Report Reply
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    afox007 said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    It's okay. I will compose an original poem, write it on a chalkboard in a cutesy font, then read it at your wedding - but only if I can come in head-to-toe burlap.
    Your are a life-saver girl! Can we put you in this sack and have you hop down the aisle??

    image
    Oh, heck yea! Do you want me to man the guest book and honeymoon jar too, or should I just read my saccharine-sweet cutesy poem before MCing the dollar dance?
    Oh, you also have to cut and serve the cake. Smooches!
    Anything for you, girl! Just don't forget to put out a tip jar for me!
    If you need extra help let me know I found the perfect dress! image
    Hey, I found the best earrings for that dress!
    image
    OMG, why didn't I find all this stuff before *my* wedding?! I would be SO HONORED if you'd let me be your burlap-clad, Pinterest-inspired, not-good-enough-to-be-a-brideslave-but-still-needs-to-be-given-a-pointless-job-anyway guest!
    ~*~*~*~*~

    Report Reply
  • afox007afox007 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Cookie Pusher said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    afox007 said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    It's okay. I will compose an original poem, write it on a chalkboard in a cutesy font, then read it at your wedding - but only if I can come in head-to-toe burlap.
    Your are a life-saver girl! Can we put you in this sack and have you hop down the aisle??

    image
    Oh, heck yea! Do you want me to man the guest book and honeymoon jar too, or should I just read my saccharine-sweet cutesy poem before MCing the dollar dance?
    Oh, you also have to cut and serve the cake. Smooches!
    Anything for you, girl! Just don't forget to put out a tip jar for me!
    If you need extra help let me know I found the perfect dress! image
    Hey, I found the best earrings for that dress!
    image
    OMG, why didn't I find all this stuff before *my* wedding?! I would be SO HONORED if you'd let me be your burlap-clad, Pinterest-inspired, not-good-enough-to-be-a-brideslave-but-still-needs-to-be-given-a-pointless-job-anyway guest!

    SITB

    Cookie Pusher don't forget we still need to get our hair and make up done in case we get honored enough to be a part of a picture like this. I think a candid shot like this would HAVE to be hung on the wall!
    image

    image
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Omg. That picture. Hahahahaha! 
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  • InkdancerInkdancer member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    We are two and a half weeks out, and have not asked our readers yet (since we just picked the readings yesterday). Asking someone else = totally okay.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Inkdancer said:
    We are two and a half weeks out, and have not asked our readers yet (since we just picked the readings yesterday). Asking someone else = totally okay.
    Oh crap. That means I need to figure out readings too.

    And this thread is KILLING ME.
    image
    image
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    We asked our readers about a month out (once we got their RSVPs) since we didn't want to pressure anyone. I think, with 2 weeks left to go, you can still ask someone if you want to have another reading. As long as you and FI are on the same page about it, it shouldn't be a problem.

    But seriously, I'll hop around in that burlap sack and read whatever you want if you send some pastries for DH. heh
    ~*~*~*~*~

    Report Reply
  • doeydodoeydo member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I would either have your officiant read it or scrap it all-together.  I wouldn't want to make the person you asked feel like they were second choice, which they probably would as things always get out.
    image
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  • steph861steph861 member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    afox007 said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    Cookie Pusher said:
    It's okay. I will compose an original poem, write it on a chalkboard in a cutesy font, then read it at your wedding - but only if I can come in head-to-toe burlap.
    Your are a life-saver girl! Can we put you in this sack and have you hop down the aisle??

    image
    Oh, heck yea! Do you want me to man the guest book and honeymoon jar too, or should I just read my saccharine-sweet cutesy poem before MCing the dollar dance?
    Oh, you also have to cut and serve the cake. Smooches!
    Anything for you, girl! Just don't forget to put out a tip jar for me!
    If you need extra help let me know I found the perfect dress! image
    Pssssh this is where it's at:

    image
    image



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