Reception Seating Arrangement Woes (Rant)

suburbanstepmom

Most things in our wedding have "fallen together" pretty nicely. However, I've met my match when it comes to reception seating. I am doing arranged seating as I believe it'll be best for all parties involved despite having a small wedding (roughly 80 people). I feel like seating people with others who I know get along and not having over crowded tables, etc. will be great.

That being said - seating ten tables of eight is a lot harder than it sounds! Especially since we don't have many "singles" at the wedding and then we have some families of five who take up almost an entire table to themselves. Ugh! I think I've got it worked out as well as I can, but it took a whole lot of tweaking! I hope everyone else who's currently working on seating charts finds a good layout soon!

Lauderdale Pink

It is a very difficult task and one I don't envy you.  My only question is, why do the families of 5 have to sit together?  Wouldn't the younger members of those families prefer to sit with people their own age?

PineapplePopsicles

I did assigned tables, but not assigned seats.  For some, we put aunts/uncles together and cousins together at another table (older cousins- this probably wouldn't work with younger cousins).  That may work if you have 4 pairs of aunts/uncles and 8 cousins (total).

Maggie0829

Lauderdale Pink said:

It is a very difficult task and one I don't envy you.  My only question is, why do the families of 5 have to sit together?  Wouldn't the younger members of those families prefer to sit with people their own age?

I only agree with this if those younger members are older teenagers (like 16+).  Any child or young teenager should be sat with their parent.  Just thinking back to the craziness that was the kids table at family holiday dinners I could not imagine having that same chaos at a wedding.

OP, don't stress too much over this.  Do the best you can.  Remember these people aren't shackled to their tables all night.  They only need to sit there for dinner and then are free to get up and speak with whoever else may be in attendance.

Jen4948

Maggie0829 said:

Lauderdale Pink said:

It is a very difficult task and one I don't envy you.  My only question is, why do the families of 5 have to sit together?  Wouldn't the younger members of those families prefer to sit with people their own age?

I only agree with this if those younger members are older teenagers (like 16+).  Any child or young teenager should be sat with their parent.  Just thinking back to the craziness that was the kids table at family holiday dinners I could not imagine having that same chaos at a wedding.

OP, don't stress too much over this.  Do the best you can.  Remember these people aren't shackled to their tables all night.  They only need to sit there for dinner and then are free to get up and speak with whoever else may be in attendance.

I think kids 10 and over don't need adult supervision. Young teenagers usually don't need and don't want to sit with their parents. If they can be trusted (on grounds other than their age) to behave themselves at a wedding reception than I'd let them sit on their own with other kids their age. They'd probably enjoy themselves more than if they were still treated like 3 year olds.

Maggie0829

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Lauderdale Pink said:

It is a very difficult task and one I don't envy you.  My only question is, why do the families of 5 have to sit together?  Wouldn't the younger members of those families prefer to sit with people their own age?

I only agree with this if those younger members are older teenagers (like 16+).  Any child or young teenager should be sat with their parent.  Just thinking back to the craziness that was the kids table at family holiday dinners I could not imagine having that same chaos at a wedding.

OP, don't stress too much over this.  Do the best you can.  Remember these people aren't shackled to their tables all night.  They only need to sit there for dinner and then are free to get up and speak with whoever else may be in attendance.

I think kids 10 and over don't need adult supervision. Young teenagers usually don't need and don't want to sit with their parents. If they can be trusted (on grounds other than their age) to behave themselves at a wedding reception than I'd let them sit on their own with other kids their age. They'd probably enjoy themselves more than if they were still treated like 3 year olds.

I think that is a generalization. 

Also, I don't see why kids need to sit separately from their parents at weddings. They were invited as a family and should be sat together as a family. As with all other guests, they aren't shackled to their tables and can certainly get up and visit with other people once dinner is over with.  I don't think sitting kids with their parents in anyway is treating them as a three year old.

Jen4948

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Lauderdale Pink said:

It is a very difficult task and one I don't envy you.  My only question is, why do the families of 5 have to sit together?  Wouldn't the younger members of those families prefer to sit with people their own age?

I only agree with this if those younger members are older teenagers (like 16+).  Any child or young teenager should be sat with their parent.  Just thinking back to the craziness that was the kids table at family holiday dinners I could not imagine having that same chaos at a wedding.

OP, don't stress too much over this.  Do the best you can.  Remember these people aren't shackled to their tables all night.  They only need to sit there for dinner and then are free to get up and speak with whoever else may be in attendance.

I think kids 10 and over don't need adult supervision. Young teenagers usually don't need and don't want to sit with their parents. If they can be trusted (on grounds other than their age) to behave themselves at a wedding reception than I'd let them sit on their own with other kids their age. They'd probably enjoy themselves more than if they were still treated like 3 year olds.

I think that is a generalization. 

Also, I don't see why kids need to sit separately from their parents at weddings. They were invited as a family and should be sat together as a family. As with all other guests, they aren't shackled to their tables and can certainly get up and visit with other people once dinner is over with.  I don't think sitting kids with their parents in anyway is treating them as a three year old.

I disagree that I generalized. I did not say kids over 10 need to sit separately from their parents. I did say that kids of a certain age need not be seated with their parents, provided they are mature enough to sit on their own without supervision. Assuming kids who are over 10 but under 16 need to sit with and be supervised by their parents because of their ages and without taking their respective maturity into question is to generalize. I did not do this.

southernbelle0915

Does your venue have 10 top tables? If so, you could seat two families of 5 at the same table.

If that's not an option, it sounds like you'll just have some tables with 7 or less people and you'll need more than 10 tables. Keep in mind that you can seat adult children at their own table. I also see the suggestion to have a teenagers/adolescents table. This MIGHT be ok depending on the kid. I know some 10 year olds who are 100% great w/o supervision and some who absolutely need a parent. If they're not adults, you should just double check with their parents to ask if they're cool with Sally being seated at the "kid's table". 

ETF spelling

suburbanstepmom

I suppose I should be a little more specific. I am not assigning SEATS - just tables. So for example Person 1 - Person 8 will be given their escort cards for for table #1 and they can pick which seat they sit at.

We don't have many “young adults” at the wedding. Either there are infants, toddlers, or older teenagers. So, a "kids" table wouldn't work for our guests. I think that as some of the PPs said - people are shackled to their tables, but to be sat with your family or people you are familiar with at least for dinner will likely put them at ease and then they can feel free to mix and mingle as they’d like after dinner.

Maggie0829

@Jen4948 - I meant that you generalized that most young teenagers do not like to sit with their parents. Which is why I bolded that portion in your post.

Jen4948

Maggie0829 said:

@Jen4948 - I meant that you generalized that most young teenagers do not like to sit with their parents. Which is why I bolded that portion in your post.

Big deal, Maggie.

The point is, kids over 10 need not automatically be seated with their parents.  Some really don't like to sit with their parents and can do just fine not being seated with their parents.

Maggie0829

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

@Jen4948 - I meant that you generalized that most young teenagers do not like to sit with their parents. Which is why I bolded that portion in your post.

Big deal, Maggie.

The point is, kids over 10 need not automatically be seated with their parents.  Some really don't like to sit with their parents and can do just fine not being seated with their parents.

Um, all I was doing was stating the point where I though you generalized since it didn't seem to come across as clear in my previous post.  No need to get snippy.

As for the bolded.  I am sure that is true but they are still kids and they will just need to fucking get over it, because they are kids.

Jen4948

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

@Jen4948 - I meant that you generalized that most young teenagers do not like to sit with their parents. Which is why I bolded that portion in your post.

Big deal, Maggie.

The point is, kids over 10 need not automatically be seated with their parents.  Some really don't like to sit with their parents and can do just fine not being seated with their parents.

Um, all I was doing was stating the point where I though you generalized since it didn't seem to come across as clear in my previous post.  No need to get snippy.

As for the bolded.  I am sure that is true but they are still kids and they will just need to fucking get over it, because they are kids.

Sorry, Maggie, I disagree and am not wiling to get into any further arguments with you.

And also sorry, while kids need to be seated wherever the hosts seat them, I don't think they need to do any "fucking getting over it."  My point was merely that the hosts have the option of seating them elsewhere if they (the hosts) prefer.  You continue to ignore that and you are the one being snippy about it with your unnecessary f-bomb.

Maggie0829

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

@Jen4948 - I meant that you generalized that most young teenagers do not like to sit with their parents. Which is why I bolded that portion in your post.

Big deal, Maggie.

The point is, kids over 10 need not automatically be seated with their parents.  Some really don't like to sit with their parents and can do just fine not being seated with their parents.

Um, all I was doing was stating the point where I though you generalized since it didn't seem to come across as clear in my previous post.  No need to get snippy.

As for the bolded.  I am sure that is true but they are still kids and they will just need to fucking get over it, because they are kids.

Sorry, Maggie, I disagree and am not wiling to get into any further arguments with you.

And also sorry, while kids need to be seated wherever the hosts seat them, I don't think they need to do any "fucking getting over it."  My point was merely that the hosts have the option of seating them elsewhere if they (the hosts) prefer.  You continue to ignore that and you are the one being snippy about it with your unnecessary f-bomb.

You are the one starting the argument. God forbid I further explain myself when it wasn't super clear the first time around. I don't care that you don't agree with me. But when it comes to kids it is up to the parents, not the hosts to decide where they sit. And that is my stance and I am sticking to it. And as for my f-bomb, it wasn't directed towards you so I don't really see the point of you commenting on it. That is how I post so get over it or maybe just block me so you never have to see another of my posts again.

Jen4948

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

@Jen4948 - I meant that you generalized that most young teenagers do not like to sit with their parents. Which is why I bolded that portion in your post.

Big deal, Maggie.

The point is, kids over 10 need not automatically be seated with their parents.  Some really don't like to sit with their parents and can do just fine not being seated with their parents.

Um, all I was doing was stating the point where I though you generalized since it didn't seem to come across as clear in my previous post.  No need to get snippy.

As for the bolded.  I am sure that is true but they are still kids and they will just need to fucking get over it, because they are kids.

Sorry, Maggie, I disagree and am not wiling to get into any further arguments with you.

And also sorry, while kids need to be seated wherever the hosts seat them, I don't think they need to do any "fucking getting over it."  My point was merely that the hosts have the option of seating them elsewhere if they (the hosts) prefer.  You continue to ignore that and you are the one being snippy about it with your unnecessary f-bomb.

You are the one starting the argument. God forbid I further explain myself when it wasn't super clear the first time around. I don't care that you don't agree with me. But when it comes to kids it is up to the parents, not the hosts to decide where they sit. And that is my stance and I am sticking to it. And as for my f-bomb, it wasn't directed towards you so I don't really see the point of you commenting on it. That is how I post so get over it or maybe just block me so you never have to see another of my posts again.

Actually, I think the hosts have as much right as the parents to decide where kids they invite should sit.  And no, I won't get over it.

wrigleyville

Okay, ladies. Simmer down. The OP isn't separating the kids, so the bickering is moot. If you want to discuss whether or not kids of a certain age should be seated with their parents, either create a new thread or take it to PM. Thanks!

southernbelle0915

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

@Jen4948 - I meant that you generalized that most young teenagers do not like to sit with their parents. Which is why I bolded that portion in your post.

Big deal, Maggie.

The point is, kids over 10 need not automatically be seated with their parents.  Some really don't like to sit with their parents and can do just fine not being seated with their parents.

Um, all I was doing was stating the point where I though you generalized since it didn't seem to come across as clear in my previous post.  No need to get snippy.

As for the bolded.  I am sure that is true but they are still kids and they will just need to fucking get over it, because they are kids.

Sorry, Maggie, I disagree and am not wiling to get into any further arguments with you.

And also sorry, while kids need to be seated wherever the hosts seat them, I don't think they need to do any "fucking getting over it."  My point was merely that the hosts have the option of seating them elsewhere if they (the hosts) prefer.  You continue to ignore that and you are the one being snippy about it with your unnecessary f-bomb.

You are the one starting the argument. God forbid I further explain myself when it wasn't super clear the first time around. I don't care that you don't agree with me. But when it comes to kids it is up to the parents, not the hosts to decide where they sit. And that is my stance and I am sticking to it. And as for my f-bomb, it wasn't directed towards you so I don't really see the point of you commenting on it. That is how I post so get over it or maybe just block me so you never have to see another of my posts again.

Actually, I think the hosts have as much right as the parents to decide where kids they invite should sit.  And no, I won't get over it.

I'm seriously not trying to stir the pot here, but I really don't agree with this.

I'm not a parent and I'm not very maternal at all. But let's say I had a 10 year old child and we were all invited to a wedding. If we got to the reception and my 10 year old was seated at some other table with a bunch of other 10 year olds and the hosts never asked me if I was ok with it ahead of time, I would probably feel uncomfortable and wouldn't be too happy about it. (And FTR, I am anti-helicopter/over parenting so it's not because I plan to keep a tight leash on any future kids.)

Ultimately, I think hosts should seat children with their parents unless they ask the parents if it's ok to seat the child(ren) elsewhere. I think parents know their kids better than anyone else. They know if: 1) their kids can handle sitting at a kid only table at an event like a wedding; and 2) if the answer to #1 is yes, whether they're cool with it.

Jen4948

southernbelle0915 said:

I'm seriously not trying to stir the pot here, but I really don't agree with this.

I'm not a parent and I'm not very maternal at all. But let's say I had a 10 year old child and we were all invited to a wedding. If we got to the reception and my 10 year old was seated at some other table with a bunch of other 10 year olds and the hosts never asked me if I was ok with it ahead of time, I would probably feel uncomfortable and wouldn't be too happy about it. (And FTR, I am anti-helicopter/over parenting so it's not because I plan to keep a tight leash on any future kids.)

Ultimately, I think hosts should seat children with their parents unless they ask the parents if it's ok to seat the child(ren) elsewhere. I think parents know their kids better than anyone else. They know if: 1) their kids can handle sitting at a kid only table at an event like a wedding; and 2) if the answer to #1 is yes, whether they're cool with it.

If the kids are under 10, then I agree with you.  But if they're between 10 and 16, then I don't.  I think at that point kids should be mature enough to not need to be seated with their parents unless they have some sort of condition that requires it (other than their age).  And I also believe that it's pretty unusual for such kids to be invited to a wedding whose condition would be unknown to the hosts, and the hosts are likely to seat such kids with their parents anyway.

southernbelle0915

Jen4948 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

I'm seriously not trying to stir the pot here, but I really don't agree with this.

I'm not a parent and I'm not very maternal at all. But let's say I had a 10 year old child and we were all invited to a wedding. If we got to the reception and my 10 year old was seated at some other table with a bunch of other 10 year olds and the hosts never asked me if I was ok with it ahead of time, I would probably feel uncomfortable and wouldn't be too happy about it. (And FTR, I am anti-helicopter/over parenting so it's not because I plan to keep a tight leash on any future kids.)

Ultimately, I think hosts should seat children with their parents unless they ask the parents if it's ok to seat the child(ren) elsewhere. I think parents know their kids better than anyone else. They know if: 1) their kids can handle sitting at a kid only table at an event like a wedding; and 2) if the answer to #1 is yes, whether they're cool with it.

If the kids are under 10, then I agree with you.  But if they're between 10 and 16, then I don't.  I think at that point kids should be mature enough to not need to be seated with their parents unless they have some sort of condition that requires it (other than their age).  And I also believe that it's pretty unusual for such kids to be invited to a wedding whose condition would be unknown to the hosts, and the hosts are likely to seat such kids with their parents anyway.

I definitely agree with you on the "condition" thing. Like if a kid is autistic, has downs, is diabetic, or any other host of physical/mental conditions. 

In my experience, there are some "normal" kids who can handle being seated away from their parents at 10-16 and some who can't. 

Even though it's embarrassing, I'll use myself as an example. I was a terrible person until about 12 years old. Objectively terrible. I won't go into specifics, but I was a handful. My parents and teachers were really the only ones who knew. I seemed totally normal to family/friends. If I had been seated at a table with other kids and away from my parents, I would have instigated all kinds of trouble. 

What I'm getting at is that I think it's 100% cool to seat kids at a kids' table.... IF (big IF) the hosts clear it with the parents first since parents have a much better feel for what their kids can handle than hosts do.

ETF spelling

Jen4948

southernbelle0915 said:

Jen4948 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

I'm seriously not trying to stir the pot here, but I really don't agree with this.

I'm not a parent and I'm not very maternal at all. But let's say I had a 10 year old child and we were all invited to a wedding. If we got to the reception and my 10 year old was seated at some other table with a bunch of other 10 year olds and the hosts never asked me if I was ok with it ahead of time, I would probably feel uncomfortable and wouldn't be too happy about it. (And FTR, I am anti-helicopter/over parenting so it's not because I plan to keep a tight leash on any future kids.)

Ultimately, I think hosts should seat children with their parents unless they ask the parents if it's ok to seat the child(ren) elsewhere. I think parents know their kids better than anyone else. They know if: 1) their kids can handle sitting at a kid only table at an event like a wedding; and 2) if the answer to #1 is yes, whether they're cool with it.

If the kids are under 10, then I agree with you.  But if they're between 10 and 16, then I don't.  I think at that point kids should be mature enough to not need to be seated with their parents unless they have some sort of condition that requires it (other than their age).  And I also believe that it's pretty unusual for such kids to be invited to a wedding whose condition would be unknown to the hosts, and the hosts are likely to seat such kids with their parents anyway.

I definitely agree with you on the "condition" thing. Like if a kid is autistic, has downs, is diabetic, or any other host of physical/mental conditions. 

In my experience, there are some "normal" kids who can handle being seated away from their parents at 10-16 and some who can't. 

Even though it's embarrassing, I'll use myself as an example. I was a terrible person until about 12 years old. Objectively terrible. I won't go into specifics, but I was a handful. My parents and teachers were really the only ones who knew. I seemed totally normal to family/friends. If I had been seated at a table with other kids and away from my parents, I would have instigated all kinds of trouble. 

What I'm getting at is that I think it's 100% cool to seat kids at a kids' table.... IF (big IF) the hosts clear it with the parents first since parents have a much better feel for what their kids can handle than hosts do.

ETF spelling

Well, I think if kids over 10 can get themselves to school or a bus stop and home again without an adult supervising them every second on the journey, and don't have any special conditions, they don't need their parents' permission to sit at another table during a wedding reception.

Modified to add: I acknowledge that some kids over 10 can be handfuls, but again, unless they have a special condition like the ones you mention, they should be able to sit at other tables during wedding receptions.  It's not like they're in a totally different location where their parents aren't accessible if need be.  They're only feet away from each other.

Alikat9614

MissMaeisbeforeJune said:

Most things in our wedding have "fallen together" pretty nicely. However, I've met my match when it comes to reception seating. I am doing arranged seating as I believe it'll be best for all parties involved despite having a small wedding (roughly 80 people). I feel like seating people with others who I know get along and not having over crowded tables, etc. will be great.

That being said - seating ten tables of eight is a lot harder than it sounds! Especially since we don't have many "singles" at the wedding and then we have some families of five who take up almost an entire table to themselves. Ugh! I think I've got it worked out as well as I can, but it took a whole lot of tweaking! I hope everyone else who's currently working on seating charts finds a good layout soon!

We are having 110 guests and I wake up at night thinking about the seating. We have 14 tables of 8 (plus our sweetheart table) and it has been such a pain to try to get everyone to fit just right. It also doesn't help that some of FI's family keeps being wishy-washy (no more changes after noon today!) and my MOH decided to tell me she was bringing a date Saturday, after I asked her last week if she was. Our RSVP date was a week ago, btw. ;-) _________________________________________________________________________ I think I've got it pretty much settled. We have one table that intermingles our two families, but there was no other way to do it other than adding a table for 3 extra people (which then would have meant needed another centerpiece and would have less space on the dance floor). It also had to do with FI's wishy-washy just RSVP'd today family, so they are seating where there is room! **hugs** best of luck to you!

theartistformerlyknownas

Just do the best you can. If there's a couple who gets along with the family of 5, sit them there. If not, leave the 3 empty seats and people can come and mingle with them. 

FTR, I don't think children under age 16 should be seated away from their parents without asking the parents first, regardless of how well-behaved the kids normally are. They're not your kids. My parents, for example, placed a lot of importance on sitting down and eating as a family. Even at a wedding, they wanted to eat together.Other times, kids may act completely different in a wedding atmosphere than they would at home or during a family get-together. Kids may be shy and uncomfortable away from their parents. Lots of possible scenarios to account for so the parents should be the ones making those decisions. Their kids, their responsibility, their call, even if the kids don't like it.

southernbelle0915

Jen4948 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

I definitely agree with you on the "condition" thing. Like if a kid is autistic, has downs, is diabetic, or any other host of physical/mental conditions. 

In my experience, there are some "normal" kids who can handle being seated away from their parents at 10-16 and some who can't. 

Even though it's embarrassing, I'll use myself as an example. I was a terrible person until about 12 years old. Objectively terrible. I won't go into specifics, but I was a handful. My parents and teachers were really the only ones who knew. I seemed totally normal to family/friends. If I had been seated at a table with other kids and away from my parents, I would have instigated all kinds of trouble. 

What I'm getting at is that I think it's 100% cool to seat kids at a kids' table.... IF (big IF) the hosts clear it with the parents first since parents have a much better feel for what their kids can handle than hosts do.

ETF spelling

Well, I think if kids over 10 can get themselves to school or a bus stop and home again without an adult supervising them every second on the journey, and don't have any special conditions, they don't need their parents' permission to sit at another table during a wedding reception.

Modified to add: I acknowledge that some kids over 10 can be handfuls, but again, unless they have a special condition like the ones you mention, they should be able to sit at other tables during wedding receptions.  It's not like they're in a totally different location where their parents aren't accessible if need be.  They're only feet away from each other.

We will have to agree to disagree then. 

I guess I just see absolutely no reason the hosts wouldn't ask parents if they're ok with this. Unless the hosts are lazy or they think they know better than the parents do.

Jen4948

lolo883 said:

Just do the best you can. If there's a couple who gets along with the family of 5, sit them there. If not, leave the 3 empty seats and people can come and mingle with them. 

FTR, I don't think children under age 16 should be seated away from their parents without asking the parents first, regardless of how well-behaved the kids normally are. They're not your kids. My parents, for example, placed a lot of importance on sitting down and eating as a family. Even at a wedding, they wanted to eat together.Other times, kids may act completely different in a wedding atmosphere than they would at home or during a family get-together. Kids may be shy and uncomfortable away from their parents. Lots of possible scenarios to account for so the parents should be the ones making those decisions. Their kids, their responsibility, their call, even if the kids don't like it.

How many couples actually call up the parents of each and every kid over 10 they invite to ask their permission to seat them at another table in the same room?

I bet it doesn't happen.  Yeah, it's usually because the kids are seated with their parents, which is totally okay.  I'm not arguing with that. 

But as a teenager, I was seated with my brother and my cousins at tables other than the ones at which my parents were seated.  Nobody asked our parents' permission to seat us elsewhere. No problems.  I don't think most hosts are going to ask the permission of the parents for their kids over 10 to sit at another table in the same room.  As I said, if kids over 10 still need to be seated with their parents for some reason other than their age, chances are that the hosts already know that and will plan accordingly.

Alikat9614

Jen4948 said:

lolo883 said:

Just do the best you can. If there's a couple who gets along with the family of 5, sit them there. If not, leave the 3 empty seats and people can come and mingle with them. 

FTR, I don't think children under age 16 should be seated away from their parents without asking the parents first, regardless of how well-behaved the kids normally are. They're not your kids. My parents, for example, placed a lot of importance on sitting down and eating as a family. Even at a wedding, they wanted to eat together.Other times, kids may act completely different in a wedding atmosphere than they would at home or during a family get-together. Kids may be shy and uncomfortable away from their parents. Lots of possible scenarios to account for so the parents should be the ones making those decisions. Their kids, their responsibility, their call, even if the kids don't like it.

How many couples actually call up the parents of each and every kid over 10 they invite to ask their permission to seat them at another table in the same room?

I bet it doesn't happen.  Yeah, it's usually because the kids are seated with their parents, which is totally okay.  I'm not arguing with that. 

But as a teenager, I was seated with my brother and my cousins at tables other than the ones at which my parents were seated.  Nobody asked our parents' permission to seat us elsewhere. No problems.  I don't think most hosts are going to ask the permission of the parents for their kids over 10 to sit at another table in the same room.  As I said, if kids over 10 still need to be seated with their parents for some reason other than their age, chances are that the hosts already know that and will plan accordingly.

We did? We wanted to make sure it was okay to have all FI's cousins at a table, separate from their parents, so we called. Most are under 15, and the parents did ok it and thanked us for asking! We called about cousins on my side about it, and two sets of parents preferred they sit as a family. Better safe than sorry!

slothiegal

Alikat9614 said:

Jen4948 said:

lolo883 said:

Just do the best you can. If there's a couple who gets along with the family of 5, sit them there. If not, leave the 3 empty seats and people can come and mingle with them. 

FTR, I don't think children under age 16 should be seated away from their parents without asking the parents first, regardless of how well-behaved the kids normally are. They're not your kids. My parents, for example, placed a lot of importance on sitting down and eating as a family. Even at a wedding, they wanted to eat together.Other times, kids may act completely different in a wedding atmosphere than they would at home or during a family get-together. Kids may be shy and uncomfortable away from their parents. Lots of possible scenarios to account for so the parents should be the ones making those decisions. Their kids, their responsibility, their call, even if the kids don't like it.

How many couples actually call up the parents of each and every kid over 10 they invite to ask their permission to seat them at another table in the same room?

I bet it doesn't happen.  Yeah, it's usually because the kids are seated with their parents, which is totally okay.  I'm not arguing with that. 

But as a teenager, I was seated with my brother and my cousins at tables other than the ones at which my parents were seated.  Nobody asked our parents' permission to seat us elsewhere. No problems.  I don't think most hosts are going to ask the permission of the parents for their kids over 10 to sit at another table in the same room.  As I said, if kids over 10 still need to be seated with their parents for some reason other than their age, chances are that the hosts already know that and will plan accordingly.

We did? We wanted to make sure it was okay to have all FI's cousins at a table, separate from their parents, so we called. Most are under 15, and the parents did ok it and thanked us for asking! We called about cousins on my side about it, and two sets of parents preferred they sit as a family. Better safe than sorry!

SIB

Yeeeup we did as well.  Not that difficult or time consuming, and parents were appreciative.

Viczaesar

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

@Jen4948 - I meant that you generalized that most young teenagers do not like to sit with their parents. Which is why I bolded that portion in your post.

Big deal, Maggie.

The point is, kids over 10 need not automatically be seated with their parents.  Some really don't like to sit with their parents and can do just fine not being seated with their parents.

And some would prefer to be seated with their parents.

Lauderdale Pink

TO OP-  I found the response where you said that there are infants and toddlers.  The toddlers will most likely need high chairs, so that takes up a seating spot,but the infants are probably in carriages.  Would it be worth the extra money to hire a baby sitter and set up a toddler room?  You could serve finger foods and have videos and toys.  Maybe some of the teens from your church's youth group or another TRUSTED group of teens would want to earn a few dollars for the event.  This would ease some of you seating issues and give the parents time to eat dinner and dance a little.  

artbyallie

Lauderdale Pink said:

TO OP-  I found the response where you said that there are infants and toddlers.  The toddlers will most likely need high chairs, so that takes up a seating spot,but the infants are probably in carriages.  Would it be worth the extra money to hire a baby sitter and set up a toddler room?  You could serve finger foods and have videos and toys.  Maybe some of the teens from your church's youth group or another TRUSTED group of teens would want to earn a few dollars for the event.  This would ease some of you seating issues and give the parents time to eat dinner and dance a little.  

Most parents would likely not be okay with leaving their children with unknown teenagers. Or unknown anyone, potentially.

And infants do need to be provided a chair, so that their parents have somewhere to put the diaper bag/carseat/whatever.

theartistformerlyknownas

Car seats shouldn't be put on chairs; it's dangerous. Nor on those flipped over high chairs.

banana468

artbyallie said:

Lauderdale Pink said:

TO OP-  I found the response where you said that there are infants and toddlers.  The toddlers will most likely need high chairs, so that takes up a seating spot,but the infants are probably in carriages.  Would it be worth the extra money to hire a baby sitter and set up a toddler room?  You could serve finger foods and have videos and toys.  Maybe some of the teens from your church's youth group or another TRUSTED group of teens would want to earn a few dollars for the event.  This would ease some of you seating issues and give the parents time to eat dinner and dance a little.  

Most parents would likely not be okay with leaving their children with unknown teenagers. Or unknown anyone, potentially.

And infants do need to be provided a chair, so that their parents have somewhere to put the diaper bag/carseat/whatever.

Infants need the  SPACE of a seat but not an actual seat.   It's not safe at all to put an infant carrier on a chair or to put an infant in a chair.  BUT, it's great to leave space around the table so the car seat can be tucked under the table or so a stroller can be pulled up.