Now grandma is involved

afox007

AlexaF2014

*Soothing mom noises* there, there

I can't imagine how rough this is for you or your family, and I'm sorry that you have to go through it at all.

Drink however much you need, call in sick and have a good cry. Then, get up tomorrow and be a bad ass.

I love your grandmother; I hope I'm half as awesome as she is when I have grandbabies.

afox007

Thank you! I need all the soothing mom noises I can get right now...oddly don't think I ever heard them from mom.

I would love to call in, but last time I called in sick the owner lost her shit and said any missed shifts without a doctors note would result in being fired.

NYCMercedes

:::Poor baby::: Soothing mom voice. It's hard now, and will be for awhile, eventually things will brighten up for you. I'm sorry all this shit happened to you.

levioosa

*Soothing mom noises and hugs*

So sorry you all are going through this.  I'm glad you have such a strong woman to help you through this.  

lyndausvi

I'm sorry this is happening to you.

I'm not sure where you live or if your parents own or rent their home, but my cousin was unable to kick her husband out because he was on the deed.    Her husband was an accountant and she trusted him with paying the bills.   He didn't. Only because she came home early from work and checked the mail did she find out the house was going in foreclosure and all the other debt. (he had a gambling problem)

  Anyway she was able to get a loan from her parents to save the house.     She still was not able to get him removed.   Then it took years to settle the divorce.  Lucky for her they had a MIL suites, but it was hell for her for a few years.  (she she ended up with the house in the divorce)     

Anyway, just wanted to share the experience that kicking someone out of the home isn't as easy as it looks in hollywood.   Especially if there was no abuse.

afox007

Well crap Lynda ya they own it and both are on the deed.

lyndausvi

afox007 said:

Well crap Lynda ya they own it and both are on the deed.

***** SITB  ****

I would think it depends on the state (cousin lived in DE) and the situation.   Legally she is allowed to be there, so sometimes there isn't anything they can do. 

In some situations leaving can be considered abandonment.   So if your dad leaves it could be a problem.

Basically I just wanted to give you the heads up that is not always as easy as telling someone they can no longer live in their legal home.  Have your dad check with a lawyer and get his ducks in  row before making any rash decisions.  

ETA - every see War of the Roses?     Similar thing reason why my cousin could not get her husband out of the house.

afox007

No I haven't. After reading the description I'm sad I can't find it on Netflix. Maybe FI can rent it for me tomorrow.

lyndausvi

afox007 said:

No I haven't. After reading the description I'm sad I can't find it on Netflix. Maybe FI can rent it for me tomorrow.

Well the movie is an exaggerated version of 2 people having to live in the same house while going through a divorce. Very over the top (it's hollywood so it's to be expected). But the point being is it's not always to just say "get out".   

Each state is different, as I said some states it's considered abandonment if one leaves the house.  You don't want your dad to move out because mom will not leave  and then find out he loses everything. On the other hand it could benefit you by knowing something  mom might not know already.

Sounds sneaky, but knowing your rights to gain the upper hand it key in these types of issues. If possible it's better to not confront the person until you know what dad and mom's rights are.  That way you can figure out a plan of action.  Again, easier said then done (often those damn emotions get in the way).

Good luck.  It sucks mom put the family in this position.   I hope your family is able to find the path of least resistance.