Children and SIL Question

MesmrEwe

The only option you have that no one else has mentioned and will keep you on good-graces (even if I'm in agreement with the others)...  YOU hire a babysitter and a place for the kids (or should I say props) to hang out.  You have McD's Happy Meals and a cake special for them (Walmart will do this for around $30) and make time to take a picture with them there.  It'll save face on more levels than you realize..

Teddy917

MesmrEwe said:

The only option you have that no one else has mentioned and will keep you on good-graces (even if I'm in agreement with the others)...  YOU hire a babysitter and a place for the kids (or should I say props) to hang out.  You have McD's Happy Meals and a cake special for them (Walmart will do this for around $30) and make time to take a picture with them there.  It'll save face on more levels than you realize..

Still not an option. That is still not allowing them at the reception.

nychick10112014

thank you for all your suggestions. we are offering the SIL (as she just stated she may be bringing a sitter) a place at the reception for the sitter so that when they kids do get cranky and tired the sitter can bring them home and the SIL and BIL can have a good time. Knowing them it wont go to the reception because the bedtimes are at 7pm and they will be up all day (no nap apparently during the day of the wedding).

Thank you for the advice.

6fsn

So what happens if they don't get tired and cranky?  Are you ok if they stay all night? 

nychick10112014

I'm not okay if they are going to be crying, tired and cranky if they are there but my FH said he will polietly suggest that maybe they should go to be as they seem to be fading.

VarunaTT

You know, do you both really believe you're even going to notice them?  We were so busy wandering around, smiling, laughing, and dancing that the little drama that did happen was swept right past us w/no notice.

I think you both just need to relax about this.

tawillers

VarunaTT said: You know, do you both really believe you're even going to notice them?  We were so busy wandering around, smiling, laughing, and dancing that the little drama that did happen was swept right past us w/no notice.
I think you both just need to relax about this.

I really believe they're going to be trying to notice them.  This has been such a focus for so long (remember the post from Dec 2013?), that at this point, she's going to make sure that either 1) the kids aren't there, or 2) they're going to make a peep and she'll feel completely justified in all this.

6fsn

I had the same thought V.  It is a smaller wedding so maybe, but I wouldn't have noticed either.

*Barbie*

I take no issues with having a child-free event, but I can't believe your fSIL hasn't told you to EABOD, and pulled her kids from the wedding completely. If someone wanted to use my daughter as a prop for their ceremony, and then bar her from the reception, I wouldn't be attending their wedding at all.

nychick10112014

At this point this is very trivial compared the latest and more  sad issues we are facing regarding our family members (severe health issues). So on that note. I'm done with this conversation. Thank you for the advice and it has been noted.

Heffalump

^^^ End of replies, y'all.

Heffalump

citychick2014 said:

I'm not okay if they are going to be crying, tired and cranky if they are there but my FH said he will polietly suggest that maybe they should go to be as they seem to be fading.

And good luck "politely" asking someone to leave, unless they've assaulted another guest or committed some other crime.  That'll go over real well.

mrsconn23

Heffalump said:

^^^ End of replies, y'all.

Yep, we was told.  

GBCK

citychick2014 said:

I'm not okay if they are going to be crying, tired and cranky if they are there but my FH said he will polietly suggest that maybe they should go to be as they seem to be fading.

End of replies be damned, this is epic stupidity that needs to be commented on.

Kids require PLANS.  So if you say "Oh, Buffy is invited to the wedding reception" and then try to kick me out when, being 4, she acts 4, we've gone from something rude level 4 ('don't bring them to the reception') to rude level 9 ('oh, you're not doing what I want, you're uninvited') and possibly broken promises and bad parenting level 8 ("Hey Buffy, if you drop the flower petals nicely and wear the itchy dress for 2 hours, you get to hang out at this awesome party....OH WAIT, you cried when your toe got stepped on because you're acting your age--I'm taking away the party and sending you to bed without supper")

Someone who has plans to have a kid somewhere for certain hours needs to know in advance if they need transportation/car seat/sitter/money for sitter/ extra food/breast pump/bag of snacks/crayons/etc.
Important events take planning, as you know, because you're planning one.  Assume that there is a ton of planning on the part of parents behind the scenes.  Telling them they're going to change it on the fly is incredibly short sighted.

Heffalump

But @GBCK, you're assuming that she sees the kids and their parents as actual human beings, not as dolls to be dressed, posed, and then put away as she sees fit.  I wish I shared your optimism, but I don't think appealing to her sense of empathy is going to bear fruit.

nychick10112014

Maybe my reply wasn't clear @CBCK. I am talking about at like 9 pm at not not at 6:30/7. Can we please stop ganging up on me. This post was about a question and everyone is taking this WAY out of control. I thought these boards were for wedding woe questions and to gain some other knowledge on your questions relating to your wedding plans. But I see that this board is more about tearing people down (if you agree or if you don't agree with their question). Needless, to say I will never post on these boards again.