Wedding Etiquette Forum

Gifts Before The Wedding

Question about thank-you note etiquette... I've heard several conflicting things on this subject.  Obviously several people will probably send gifts in the mail prior to the wedding- we registered at Williams Sonoma and they send gifts all wrapped in nice paper even within the regular brown package they are mailed in (not sure if this is the norm, thought I'd mention in case it's not), and personally I think it would be fun to wait to unwrap them until after the wedding, for more of a surprise/special feeling of not actually knowing what they are until we're really married... plus the fact that I know we're not technically supposed to use anything until after the wedding, so I'd just as soon not know what it is until then.  BUT I don't know if I need to unwrap them as they are received in order to send the thank-you notes ASAP (like before the actual wedding).  What did you ladies do?    

Re: Gifts Before The Wedding

  • Open it, and send a thank you note ASAP.
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  • Ditto PPs. Gift givers want to know that their gift was received, and intact.

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  • I know it's not as 'fun,' but you need to open them and thank them. I've called brides wondering because they waited and I wanted to make sure that everything was okay.
  • Ditto PPs. Sending a TY reassures the giver that you received the gift they sent.

    Relevant story: A few weeks before our wedding, we received a gift of five place settings from one of our guests. I thought this seemed like an odd number, so we made sure to thank them specifically for five place settings in our note. Sure enough, after they received our note, they contacted us to say that they had actually ordered six place settings ("Why would I ever give FIVE place settings?!").

    Fortunately, WS was super helpful and sent the missing place setting right away. But if we hadn't opened the gifts and send our TY right away, the situation may have been more difficult to remedy.
  • Question about thank-you note etiquette... I've heard several conflicting things on this subject.  Obviously several people will probably send gifts in the mail prior to the wedding- we registered at Williams Sonoma and they send gifts all wrapped in nice paper even within the regular brown package they are mailed in (not sure if this is the norm, thought I'd mention in case it's not), and personally I think it would be fun to wait to unwrap them until after the wedding, for more of a surprise/special feeling of not actually knowing what they are until we're really married... plus the fact that I know we're not technically supposed to use anything until after the wedding, so I'd just as soon not know what it is until then.  BUT I don't know if I need to unwrap them as they are received in order to send the thank-you notes ASAP (like before the actual wedding).  What did you ladies do?    
    Open now, send thank you notes now, don't use until after the wedding unless you are financially prepared to replace and return.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Sars06 said:
    Ditto PPs. Sending a TY reassures the giver that you received the gift they sent.

    Relevant story: A few weeks before our wedding, we received a gift of five place settings from one of our guests. I thought this seemed like an odd number, so we made sure to thank them specifically for five place settings in our note. Sure enough, after they received our note, they contacted us to say that they had actually ordered six place settings ("Why would I ever give FIVE place settings?!").

    Fortunately, WS was super helpful and sent the missing place setting right away. But if we hadn't opened the gifts and send our TY right away, the situation may have been more difficult to remedy.
    Why is 5 weird, because it's not even? Growing up my immediate family was 5, so it would be perfect for us. 

    For my wedding, some people gave 1 place setting, one sent 3, and one sent 6. I just assumed that's how much they wanted to spend.
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  • Sars06 said:

    Ditto PPs. Sending a TY reassures the giver that you received the gift they sent.

    Relevant story: A few weeks before our wedding, we received a gift of five place settings from one of our guests. I thought this seemed like an odd number, so we made sure to thank them specifically for five place settings in our note. Sure enough, after they received our note, they contacted us to say that they had actually ordered six place settings ("Why would I ever give FIVE place settings?!").

    Fortunately, WS was super helpful and sent the missing place setting right away. But if we hadn't opened the gifts and send our TY right away, the situation may have been more difficult to remedy.

    Why is 5 weird, because it's not even? Growing up my immediate family was 5, so it would be perfect for us. 

    For my wedding, some people gave 1 place setting, one sent 3, and one sent 6. I just assumed that's how much they wanted to spend.


    This...if I got 5 place setting and no saucers I would give that odd, but not an odd number of settings :)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • Unwrap them and send thank you notes right away, but don't use the gift until after the wedding (just in case something happens and you need to return them to the giver). That way, they'll know you received it.

    Same goes for money. Thank the giver and cash the check right away, but don't use the money until after the wedding. We put it in our savings account and kept a tally. Once we got married, we moved some of it over to our checking account so we could splurge a little during our honeymoon.
    We also waited to spend money until after the wedding. We wanted to finish getting our registry items, and we waited a week or so after the wedding to see what gifts were already bought for us. The only thing we used before the wedding was a new TV (I never gave in to the urge to buy a nice flat screen, so my best friend and sisters bought it as a shower gift). We kept the box and everything that came with it until after the wedding. I suggested waiting to use it, but my husband was already opening it as I said this. 
  • Unwrap them and send out thank-you notes ASAP.  But keep the packaging and receipts (if any) and don't actually use them until after the wedding.


  • Sars06 said:
    Ditto PPs. Sending a TY reassures the giver that you received the gift they sent.

    Relevant story: A few weeks before our wedding, we received a gift of five place settings from one of our guests. I thought this seemed like an odd number, so we made sure to thank them specifically for five place settings in our note. Sure enough, after they received our note, they contacted us to say that they had actually ordered six place settings ("Why would I ever give FIVE place settings?!").

    Fortunately, WS was super helpful and sent the missing place setting right away. But if we hadn't opened the gifts and send our TY right away, the situation may have been more difficult to remedy.
    Why is 5 weird, because it's not even? Growing up my immediate family was 5, so it would be perfect for us. 

    For my wedding, some people gave 1 place setting, one sent 3, and one sent 6. I just assumed that's how much they wanted to spend.
    Me too. I would base it on how much I would want to spend vs the size.
  • Unwrap everything make sure nothing is broken write your thank you notes now.  Put the gifts aside until after the wedding. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Thanks ladies!  I will be sure to do as advised here :).
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