Wedding Etiquette Forum

guest etiquette question

My family was recently invited to a wedding, I received my own invitation addressed to FI and me, so far so good.

My adult sister lives with my parents and only one invitation was sent to their house addressed to "The Blank Family" There was no inner envelope clarifying who was invited. My sister has a long-term SO and we don't know if he is invited or not. Is it rude to ask?

Re: guest etiquette question

  • lnl1015 said:

    My family was recently invited to a wedding, I received my own invitation addressed to FI and me, so far so good.

    My adult sister lives with my parents and only one invitation was sent to their house addressed to "The Blank Family" There was no inner envelope clarifying who was invited. My sister has a long-term SO and we don't know if he is invited or not. Is it rude to ask?

    Not rude at all. I'd call and ask for clarification.
  • banana468 said:

    Not rude.   IMO, the hosts brought this on themselves when they addressed the envelope with such ambiguity. 

    This
  • lnl1015 said:

    My family was recently invited to a wedding, I received my own invitation addressed to FI and me, so far so good.

    My adult sister lives with my parents and only one invitation was sent to their house addressed to "The Blank Family" There was no inner envelope clarifying who was invited. My sister has a long-term SO and we don't know if he is invited or not. Is it rude to ask?


    My husband and I sent one invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Blank and Family. These were cousins of my husband, and they lived out of the country. 

    MIL said they probably would not come anyway, when I asked her for the cousin's children's names (in their early 20s). I should have fought her more on it, but it was like pulling teeth to get her to give me the last name of another cousin's girlfriend. (You know these people, not me, just email and ask!)

    We were prepared for any SO of the children to come as well. 

    It's certainly not rude to ask, they should have given your sister her own invitation with her SO on it. But my opinion, is that "and Family" means those who live in the house, and any SO. 
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  • Yes have your sister call and double check if her SO is invited. 
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  • lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    lnl1015 said:

    My family was recently invited to a wedding, I received my own invitation addressed to FI and me, so far so good.

    My adult sister lives with my parents and only one invitation was sent to their house addressed to "The Blank Family" There was no inner envelope clarifying who was invited. My sister has a long-term SO and we don't know if he is invited or not. Is it rude to ask?


    My husband and I sent one invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Blank and Family. These were cousins of my husband, and they lived out of the country. 

    MIL said they probably would not come anyway, when I asked her for the cousin's children's names (in their early 20s). I should have fought her more on it, but it was like pulling teeth to get her to give me the last name of another cousin's girlfriend. (You know these people, not me, just email and ask!)

    We were prepared for any SO of the children to come as well. 

    It's certainly not rude to ask, they should have given your sister her own invitation with her SO on it. But my opinion, is that "and Family" means those who live in the house, and any SO. 
    I think the SOs should be invited but I think "and Family" means those who are immediate family members who live in the house. A SO does not constitute a family member.
  • lc07 said:
    lnl1015 said:

    My family was recently invited to a wedding, I received my own invitation addressed to FI and me, so far so good.

    My adult sister lives with my parents and only one invitation was sent to their house addressed to "The Blank Family" There was no inner envelope clarifying who was invited. My sister has a long-term SO and we don't know if he is invited or not. Is it rude to ask?


    My husband and I sent one invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Blank and Family. These were cousins of my husband, and they lived out of the country. 

    MIL said they probably would not come anyway, when I asked her for the cousin's children's names (in their early 20s). I should have fought her more on it, but it was like pulling teeth to get her to give me the last name of another cousin's girlfriend. (You know these people, not me, just email and ask!)

    We were prepared for any SO of the children to come as well. 

    It's certainly not rude to ask, they should have given your sister her own invitation with her SO on it. But my opinion, is that "and Family" means those who live in the house, and any SO. 
    I think the SOs should be invited but I think "and Family" means those who are immediate family members who live in the house. A SO does not constitute a family member.
    Yes, but if you do "and Family" and an adult is included in that "and Family" and that adult has a significant other, then by etiquette the SO should be invited too. 

    This is why you shouldn't do "and Family' because it gets too confusing.
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  • lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its


    This is why you shouldn't do "and Family' because it gets too confusing.
    Agreed!!
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited August 2014
    lc07 said:
    lnl1015 said:

    My family was recently invited to a wedding, I received my own invitation addressed to FI and me, so far so good.

    My adult sister lives with my parents and only one invitation was sent to their house addressed to "The Blank Family" There was no inner envelope clarifying who was invited. My sister has a long-term SO and we don't know if he is invited or not. Is it rude to ask?


    My husband and I sent one invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Blank and Family. These were cousins of my husband, and they lived out of the country. 

    MIL said they probably would not come anyway, when I asked her for the cousin's children's names (in their early 20s). I should have fought her more on it, but it was like pulling teeth to get her to give me the last name of another cousin's girlfriend. (You know these people, not me, just email and ask!)

    We were prepared for any SO of the children to come as well. 

    It's certainly not rude to ask, they should have given your sister her own invitation with her SO on it. But my opinion, is that "and Family" means those who live in the house, and any SO. 
    I think the SOs should be invited but I think "and Family" means those who are immediate family members who live in the house. A SO does not constitute a family member.
    Actually, each adult social unit in the house should get its own invitation.  "And Family" shouldn't be used.  If it is, though, I think it extends to SOs of family members living in the house.
  • Thanks all! Initially we thought of course it includes him, but the bride has been talking a lot about how out of control her guest list is and unfortunately I wouldn't put it past her to decide that cutting SOs was a reasonable way to get it under control.
  • lnl1015 said:
    Thanks all! Initially we thought of course it includes him, but the bride has been talking a lot about how out of control her guest list is and unfortunately I wouldn't put it past her to decide that cutting SOs was a reasonable rude way to get it under control.
    FTFY
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