Dress situation...

bride2b71614

So, I chose my bridal party, and we are about 13 months out from my wedding. I was open to having them wear all mismatched gowns as long as they were black and floor length, or having them all match. One member of my bridal party B found a dress that was incredibly pretty and I really like it. I thought that all the members of the bridal party would look great in it, and they all agreed that the price was great, and that they liked the dress.  A week later another member of the BP, (lets call her C) informed me that the price of the dress was dropping, which led her to believe that the dress was either being discontinued or was selling out. My bridal party  agreed to purchase the dress two sizes up early (which made me feel a little silly) and I agreed to pay for the alterations when it came time for the wedding. A few days ago, I got a message from B saying "hey the dress doesn't fit me, and it doesn't look like it could be tailored to the extent I'd need it to be (taken out a lot). Its a really nice dress, but I think we should all just order new dresses" (she ordered the largest size they carry). Turns out C was correct, the dresses are being discontinued and they aren't taking returns (according to . 

The rest of my party has already purchased the dress and loves it. I love the dress too, and I love how it matches the venue, and how its made really well for such a low price. I really don't want to make them buy new dresses and spend more money than they already have. While the wedding is 13 months  away and everyone's body may change, I am at a bit of a loss because B said she'd need to lose like 100 lbs. to fit in the dress. If you were me, which of the following solutions would you pick?

A) Apologize to the bridal party, and pay for the old dress so they can purchase a new one

Wait a year to see what will happen (hopefully they will all fit into the dress)

C) Wait it out and discuss what everyone wants to do (I am open to having mismatched dresses but would prefer that on everyone, not just one member who isn't a MOH).

If option A is best, I would be worried about how to go about telling the BP why I am changing the dresses. I know them, and they will definitely be asking questions. I would hate to hurt anyone's feelings, especially because the only reason I'm changing it is because of one person being unable to fit into the dress. I struggle with my own weight and would never in a zillion years tell someone to lose weight to fit into a dress or single them out due to weight! I am kicking myself right now because I know I should have waited, and I certainly shouldn't have agreed to people purchasing the dress out this early. Any suggestions/help would be awesome, and I appreciate it in advance! 

MyNameIsNot

Option A.  Resell them on ebay to recoup some of what you spend.

Just tell the BMs that the dress didn't work out for everyone and leave it at that.  It's none of their business who or why it didn't work.

maiorielloam6

You don't think you could find an almost identical one for B?

JaxInBlue

Before you do anything, I'd ask B to take the dress that doesn't fit to a reputable tailor and get an idea of (1) what alterations might cost to make the dress fit properly or (2) what it might cost to make the same dress in the correct size.  It either 1 or 2 is a viable option, it sounds like you and B have a close enough relationship to share the cost of the alterations.

If not, reimburse the ladies in your party for the cost of the dresses.  Use eBay, OnceWed, etc. to try to sell the dresses and recoup some costs.  Then, I'd go back to the mismatched idea - that way everyone can spend time looking for something that fits and they feel comfortable, and so that you will not need to group-buy any dresses to avoid anything being discontinued.

bride2b71614

@maiorielloam6‌, this dress is crazily unique...as it has cap sleeves that are made out of beads, there's a layer of lace, a velvet like texture and intricate beading in the center. Finding a dress in her size similar to this one probably won't be the easiest thing to do.



@JaxInBlue‌, B informed me after she took it to her job (which is with a major fashion company) the seamstress there said that it would be five times the price to do the alterations due to the dress' intricate nature. I think it's probably best to do what you suggested, pay them back, scrap the dresses on eBay and then allow for them to get mismatched dresses closer to the wedding.

Thank you all so much for your help!

bride2b71614

For reference this is the dress:

lilacck28

http://www.shecloth.com/Black-V-neck-Lace-Cap-Sleeve-Beading-Pleated-Long-Chiffon-Dress-product-141177.html?url_from=pladresz130725D0602&gclid=CjwKEAjwj4ugBRD1x4ST9YHplzMSJACTDms8sA72XwBd99JRDtuAVZVxOuCzan-LA7mhq1kyua8-ARoC2QDw_wcB

Isn't that your dress? I know nothing about that website... but it looks like all the sizes are available... or is she much bigger than an XL? 

bride2b71614

@lilacck28 much bigger than an XL.

lilacck28

ah okay. I know all about the panic involved in purchasing bridesmaids dresses. Two of mine happened to buy the same navy dress from Marshall's, and the third had always been concerned about matching, so I scrambled and found her a very similar dress from JCrew. And my wedding is not until the end of May 2015. 

Panic happens. It was too early, and any number of things can still go wrong. I should have just said to them "I don't care what you wear, as long as it's navy and short. Work it out yourselves." 

This isn't the most major thing, even if it seems it right now. It will all work out! 

Is it possible to have the bridesmaid buy some fabric and have the alterations ppl just sew in a large panel in the back? NVM. I don't know anything about dress fitting, so that is probably nonsense. 

How many bridesmaids do you have? Is it at least 4? Maybe ask around and see who really likes/ fits well into the dress, and have those members keep it, and the ones who are iffy, you pay them back for the dress and have them buy different long black ones. That way you aren't losing the cost of all of the dresses, and won't have just one bridesmaid standing out in a different dress. 

bride2b71614

I've got five.

PrettyGirlLost

As long as B doesn't care that she isn't going to match the other BMs, I'd let B find a different, similar dress and let her just wear that.

thisismynickname2

Those dresses are gorgeous.  I'd try to get one very similar for the XL-plus bridesmaid.  Perhaps a good tailor can use elements of the original dress to create something new. You know that bridal show where they take apart the mother's wedding dress and recreate it for the bride?  Maybe that's an option. 

atlastmrsg

I would definitely try a neutral tailor.  The BM may have said "I look terrible in this, I don't really want you to fix it, what do you think..." and the whole convo tainted from there.

Somewhere that does custom tailoring can surely make it work.  Adding a panel down sides or back, adding a corset back and panels, etc.  That way the other BMs who did what they were supposed to don't have something new to worry about it.  I say work with this particular dress, even at cost to you, since the other girls aren't at fault for the scenario.  

Now, for lurkers...choosing bridal party and getting dressed 13 months out...that may be something to reconisder...

weddingcactus

bride2b71614 said:

... the seamstress there said that it would be five times the price to do the alterations due to the dress' intricate nature ...

There is a big difference between tailoring costing a lot due to the intricate nature of a dress and the alterations not being feasible. I absolutely agree that you should first take the dress to a neutral tailor and determine if it's feasible at all and what the cost might be. Then you can determine from there whether it's cheaper to replace all of your BMs dresses or help pay for the alterations with your BM struggling with the selected dress.