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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Strange +1 Situation

yogablossomyogablossom member
100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
edited September 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Here is some background first: I have a good friend of mine from high school who is engaged to this great guy. They moved out of state a little while back, and since then, I heard that this friend's fiance got a great job offer in another city on the other side of the country. My friend couldn't move with him because she is currently attending grad school in this other city. So they are doing long distance. 

Or so I thought.  As far as I know from my friend, this is the current situation, as she has said nothing more to me about her situation with her fiance.  Well, come to find out from one of our mutual friends living in the same city as her, apparently she broke off her engagement with her fiance but is still dating him. but she is also dating SOMEONE ELSE in the city! Keep in mind, she hasn't told me any of this.  So when it comes time to do invitations, who should I be inviting with her? ex-Fiance-but-is-still-"dating"-him? City fling? No one? I am confused and I don't want to be rude. Any suggestions would help.

Re: Strange +1 Situation

  • Wow, that's a doozy. 

    On the one hand, since she hasn't disclosed this to you, I think inviting the "fiance" would be best.  As far as you know (in her mind) that's who she is with, so why would you invite anyone else?

    On the other hand, if she does let you in on this at some point, and she continues to see two people, maybe you give her a plus 1 and give her the choice? 

    But then, if there is an SO in the picture, you want to address them by name, right?

    I really don't know.  I'm sure someone else will have much better advice!




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  • yogablossomyogablossom member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited September 2014
    Thanks, ladies! My wedding isn't until May, so I definitely have some time to figure this out.  I just saw her last month at a mutual friend's wedding and I noticed she wasn't wearing her engagement ring, but we never ever spoke about anything related to her engagement/broken engagement (not really an appropriate topic given the situation). But that being said, she did mention something about her ex-fiance (just mentioned him by name), so I was thinking that until she actually tells me what is up, I should probably invite him with her unless she lets me know otherwise? It's just so weird!
  • You have lots of time.  If the breakup is still fresh she probably hasn't been letting the news spread yet.  
  • I agree you should address it to her and fiance as planned, since she hasn't said anything yet.

    If she tells you she's still with FI but also dating someone locally, then I would extend a +1 and let her decide who she wants to bring. I have a friend in a poly relationship, so I gave her a +1 and let her choose.
  • Just wait til you need to send invites out. Things can change a lot over that time. 
  • I would just contact her right before you send out your invites and ask who she plans on brining. If she isn't' sure, then I would give a +1 since you plan on her bringing someone anyway. 
                                    Daisypath Wedding tickers


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  • Thanks for the advice! I'll just wait and see and take it from there! :-)
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