Wedding Etiquette Forum

I should have heeded the warning signs

The first sign I had about the wedding I went to this weekend, was the save the date. We were handed it and it only had FI's name on it. Ok, not so bad in the scheme of things, but we will see. Next, was the registry card tucked in the invite. Not just a tear off from Macy's they give you a thousand of, but they were specially printed inserts to match the invite, instead of directions (we found out later that insert would have been helpful).

Fi is in the wedding. We have to be at the rehearsal at 9:30am Saturday, when the wedding is not until 4pm Sunday. At the rehearsal, no one introduces us to anyone else or tries to make any conversation at all. We try to talk to the other groomsmen, they say one word answers and turn away. GREAT! I was invited by text message to the rehearsal lunch the day before, so we go over to the restaurant after FI is done. We show up on time, everyone is already there and there are no seats for us. We squeeze in between the tables on the bench side of the seating to try to sit. 

FI was told to be at the venue at 12pm for the 4pm wedding. We assumed he would be helping set up tables or signage or something. NOPE! The groomsmen sat around and watched TV for four hours while I had to sit in the restaurant area by myself. I had no idea where they were and no cell reception so I couldn't get in contact with him at all. The entire time I was waiting, no one offered me anything to drink or to eat. I'm glad I brought water, because otherwise I would not have had anything. One of the bridesmaids even asked if the wife of a groomsman could take their leftover pizza to the groomsmen without asking if we wanted anything. 


By this time, I am just upset, tired, and hungry. I know the ceremony is outside, but I can't find it. Some of the other guests have started to arrive and they are looking around, too. No one is outside to show us where to go and there aren't signs. We eventually spot a staircase in the rear of the building's outdoor deck and figure it must be out back and find out seats in the enclosed, not visible from the road, ceremony space. The ceremony is beautiful and I am very happy for them. 

Oh no, its a cash bar. By cash bar I mean, the only thing that is free is water. The cost isn't even discounted. You have GOT to be kidding me! All I wanted was a nice glass of wine after a crazy day like this and all would have been forgiven. Cash bar is the worst news I could have heard at that point. I don't even care that for the next hour there is no place to sit because they will not allow us into the reception space and there are no chairs in this area. I don't even care that there are 150 people crammed into this space which is meant for maaaaybe 75. I also don't even care about all of the other rude ass things we had to put up with for the whole weekend. I would just like for you, bride and groom friend, to buy me a glass of wine or a beer and I will forget all about it. Ugh.
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Re: I should have heeded the warning signs

  • That sounds like a horrible, exhausting day! A million examples of what NOT to do. That sucks you went through that :( Hopefully you had a nice glass of wine at home that night.

    Yes I did! I made FI pay for my drinks once he showed up.
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  • It's weird that they had the groomsmen show up so early if they weren't even doing pictures.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Ugh. On top of everything else, I would have been mightily pissed about attending a wedding on Sunday of a holiday weekend. Saturday, I can sort of forgive, since I'd still get two days in a row to do whatever I want, but right smack in the middle when I can't make plans on either end? Screw that.
    SeaCaptainOtterpinkshorts27
  • MrsMcCaw said:

    It's weird that they had the groomsmen show up so early if they weren't even doing pictures.

    That's what we thought was happening, in addition to set up or something. They ended up taking a few shots while everyone was seated and the groomsmen were on the other side of a rock wall. We could hear them laughing and carrying on. It took less than ten minutes.
    image
  • The first sign I had about the wedding I went to this weekend, was the save the date. We were handed it and it only had FI's name on it. Ok, not so bad in the scheme of things, but we will see. Next, was the registry card tucked in the invite. Not just a tear off from Macy's they give you a thousand of, but they were specially printed inserts to match the invite, instead of directions (we found out later that insert would have been helpful).

    Fi is in the wedding. We have to be at the rehearsal at 9:30am Saturday, when the wedding is not until 4pm Sunday. At the rehearsal, no one introduces us to anyone else or tries to make any conversation at all. We try to talk to the other groomsmen, they say one word answers and turn away. GREAT! I was invited by text message to the rehearsal lunch the day before, so we go over to the restaurant after FI is done. We show up on time, everyone is already there and there are no seats for us. We squeeze in between the tables on the bench side of the seating to try to sit. 

    FI was told to be at the venue at 12pm for the 4pm wedding. We assumed he would be helping set up tables or signage or something. NOPE! The groomsmen sat around and watched TV for four hours while I had to sit in the restaurant area by myself. I had no idea where they were and no cell reception so I couldn't get in contact with him at all. The entire time I was waiting, no one offered me anything to drink or to eat. I'm glad I brought water, because otherwise I would not have had anything. One of the bridesmaids even asked if the wife of a groomsman could take their leftover pizza to the groomsmen without asking if we wanted anything. 


    By this time, I am just upset, tired, and hungry. I know the ceremony is outside, but I can't find it. Some of the other guests have started to arrive and they are looking around, too. No one is outside to show us where to go and there aren't signs. We eventually spot a staircase in the rear of the building's outdoor deck and figure it must be out back and find out seats in the enclosed, not visible from the road, ceremony space. The ceremony is beautiful and I am very happy for them. 

    Oh no, its a cash bar. By cash bar I mean, the only thing that is free is water. The cost isn't even discounted. You have GOT to be kidding me! All I wanted was a nice glass of wine after a crazy day like this and all would have been forgiven. Cash bar is the worst news I could have heard at that point. I don't even care that for the next hour there is no place to sit because they will not allow us into the reception space and there are no chairs in this area. I don't even care that there are 150 people crammed into this space which is meant for maaaaybe 75. I also don't even care about all of the other rude ass things we had to put up with for the whole weekend. I would just like for you, bride and groom friend, to buy me a glass of wine or a beer and I will forget all about it. Ugh.
    Nothing wrong with that. Maybe that's when they could get the venue.

    If they were just hanging out before the wedding, then that should have been communicated. Hey were hanging out for a bit before the wedding at x time, but you need to be here by y.
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