Dress Regret? What would you do?

bahamabride2015

So I went with my sister, mother and best friend back in the spring to get my dress and at the time it was narrowed down to 2 beautiful dresses.  One was a beautiful, more structured "couture" feeling gown with a beautiful lace top neckline.  The other, a simple but beautiful strapless ball own with a sweetheart neckline and raw taffeta edges.  I ultimately ended up going with the second as the wedding we had planned was at a small out-island resort in the Bahamas and I thought it felt more "boho" and casual.  

Fast forward and our wedding plans have changed completely.  We're now getting marred at a beautiful and exclusive club here in Nassau and I'm wishing I had bought the other dress  No returns on wedding dresses obviously.  What would you do?  

It is also worth noting that the first dress is quite a bit more expensive but was still pretty much within my dress price range...  

HELP!

msuprincess04

I'm sure your wedding dress is appropriate for either location, but the real question is, is it in your budget to own two dresses? You can attempt to sell the first, but realize you'll only get about half what you paid for it and it may take some time to sell. 

Also, have you tried on your dress since you bought it? Often, the idea of it being so long ago may change how you imagine in, but one you put it on again, you'll remember how much you loved it. How much time do you have? 

bahamabride2015

Thanks @msuprincess04 I really just need to take a deep breath and calm down.  I actually haven't tried the dress on or even seen it in person since I bought it since it's at my parent's home in Canada and I am living the the Bahamas.  

I suspect the photos I have of my current dress just don't do it justice as I remember loving it when I had it on.  I also really loved the other one but remember thinking at the time "Do I really love it $$ more?"

Ultimately, I could afford to buy the other dress and sell the one I have now but I also need to remind myself that I've never been one to believe in spending a fortune on a wedding dress and if I were to do that the price would become pretty hefty.  

Deep breath, delete all photos of competitor dress and move on.  

theartistformerlyknownas

If you can't afford to own two outright, delete those photos and stop thinking about it. Think about how you can glam up your dress with some fabulous accessories instead.

bahamabride2015

I COULD, I don't think I SHOULD.  If I were to tell FI he would tell me to go get the one I really want and not worry about it but I think I'm being silly and having a panic moment.  I've had the dress for like 5 months and have never felt this way before.  I'll visit it in the closet at my parent's house next week when I'm in Canada seeing family, hopefully that will make me feel better

RebeccaFlower

At the risk of sounding like a jerk... it's just a dress that you'll wear for less than 8 hours. Yes, it should be something you love, but I don't think it's worth the money. You loved that dress enough the buy it, I'm sure it's lovely and suitable for your wedding.

bahamabride2015

Makes sense!  Small panic moment! Deep breath, all good.

theartistformerlyknownas

RebeccaFlower said:

At the risk of sounding like a jerk... it's just a dress that you'll wear for less than 8 hours. Yes, it should be something you love, but I don't think it's worth the money. You loved that dress enough the buy it, I'm sure it's lovely and suitable for your wedding.

This. I truly believe there is no such thing as The One Ultimate Perfect Dream Dress. If you had a ton of money to throw around willy nilly, whatever. But there will always be a dress you could potentially love more than the one you have. That doesn't mean your wedding will be any less wonderful. We just have to find something pretty and flattering, and stop thinking about it.

I'm sure you look beautiful in your dress, and once you put it on with your hair and makeup and everything on your wedding day you'll forget all about anything else. Not because of the dress, but because YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED and you feel amazing.

valkaye

8 hours? I plan on living in my dress for a month!!!!!

doeydo

I guess I am going against the grain here, but I would not want to regret my wedding dress choice, so I would sell the one you currently have and buy the other dress.

QueerFemme

As someone who had major dress regret... and still do, 2 years after my wedding, if you really loved the other dress, and you can afford it, sell the one you bought and buy the one you loved.

I ultimately really liked my dress and it fit me well, and it was perfect for the type of wedding we were having.  But, I wish I would have given myself the freedom to keep looking and spend more money.

jenijoyk

You can do what I am doing, right now, today, and go dress shopping even though your wedding is 6 weeks away LIKE A COMPLETELY INSANE PERSON.

I bought my dress in January.  Had dress regret for months. And then talked myself off the cliff. And then went in this past weekend for my first fitting. Paid them. The dress is now currently under the knife, but for the past two days I can't stop thinking about how much I do not like it. I feel completely nutso. But I'm usually such a definitive person. I very rarely waste braincells and worry lines fretting over my decisions. But this decision has haunted me since freaking January. I need a new dress. Stat.

missdelilah

You definitely don't want to get married in a dress that makes you feel bad, but it's true that there probably a million dresses that would look great on you and you'd love to bits if you kept looking. The dress you described sounds fine for the venue. You can definitely get a seamstress to do something about the raw edging if that's what's worrying you most.

Ndelible

It doesn't sound like you hate the dress you got...  You're just worried.  Trying the dress on and then making a decision seems like a prudent course of action.

QueerFemme

jenijoyk said:

You can do what I am doing, right now, today, and go dress shopping even though your wedding is 6 weeks away LIKE A COMPLETELY INSANE PERSON.

I bought my dress in January.  Had dress regret for months. And then talked myself off the cliff. And then went in this past weekend for my first fitting. Paid them. The dress is now currently under the knife, but for the past two days I can't stop thinking about how much I do not like it. I feel completely nutso. But I'm usually such a definitive person. I very rarely waste braincells and worry lines fretting over my decisions. But this decision has haunted me since freaking January. I need a new dress. Stat.

This is very similar to what I did. I bought my dress in February.  I went shopping again in March and didn't find anything I liked better, so I talked myself into liking/loving it for months.  Then, in late July, I went shopping again when one of my local salons had a major sample sale.  So, I ended up buying another dress at a sample sale.  I ultimately decided to stick with my original dress and sold the sample sale dress.  It was in impulse buy and wasn't really right for me, and I'm glad I sold it.  And again, I don't hate my dress. It's a beautiful dress and it looked good on me.  I just wanted "more".  I could never really put my finger on what "more" I wanted, but I knew what I had, wasn't it.

Of course, until the following season's dresses came out.  And I saw what "more" looked like. Apparantly, I was just a season ahead of my time.

My point is... if you want "more", and you can afford it, go do it.   Don't regret it two years later.