Bachelor parties- what are your boundaries?

raissyrais

I have zero problems with stripclubs. The only thing I worry about for FI is that he gets too drunk. I have this friend whose friend had his bachelor party and they made the groom drink so much that he died. He DIED!!! When do you not know when to stop? I've seen it so many times when the guys are just trying to pound shot after shot of 40% alcohol down the bachelor's throat. How come it's so glorified knowing full well that at any time you can black out and cause serious damage somewhere in your body and sometimes this is what happens. Thankfully, FI will probably like to go camping or something. But that doesn't mean they won't try and get him drunk. If Fi dies, I die.

MegEn1

FI went to a strip club once for a friend's Bachelor Party. He spent the whole time talking to one of the girls about how she does her taxes, if she can write off her body glitter, etc. Apparently strippers in this one place were actually independent contractors, they didn't work directly for the house. Who knew?!

Rules aren't really necessary for FI.

princessleia22

We didn't really have bachelor or bachelorette parties, since all our VIP's are scattered across the country. We had a destination wedding in NOLA, so we did all go out the night before the wedding on Bourbon Street. Nobody got trashed and we were home by about 10pm. DH did go into a strip club for about 5 seconds because there was a silhouette of a dancing woman in the window and he was curious about what she really looked like compared to what he imagined (sadly the reality was not that attractive). So that's the closest we came to our parties. But, it involved some drinking and strippers, so I guess it counts, right?

 

But, if he did have one, I wouldn't set any rules beyond the everyday understandings (I'm not sure I'd call them rules).

- He's already had a DUI (many years ago) and knows not to do that again. He's doesn't drink much anymore, but refuses to drive after even one beer now anyway.

- When it comes to other women, he can look, but no touching. He used to go to strip clubs before we met, but claims he has no interest in them anymore since he's got something better to look at at home. I'm glad he chooses not to go, but I wouldn't forbid him from doing it either.

  - I told him from day one that I won't ever bail him out of jail and I won't wait for him if he goes to prison, I don't care what the circumstances are, so just don't get arrested. Ever. For anything.

That's about it really. I trust him not to get into trouble or do anything too crazy.

Edited because TK ate my paragraphs... again.

holyguacamole79

We didn't have rules, but neither one of us are the types to do strip clubs or the sort that would upset the other.  DH's bachelor party actually sounded more fun than my bachelorette party.  The guys got together, smoked a brisket, had BBQ, drank beer, and played poker. 

ssammii

MegEn1 said:

FI went to a strip club once for a friend's Bachelor Party. He spent the whole time talking to one of the girls about how she does her taxes, if she can write off her body glitter, etc. Apparently strippers in this one place were actually independent contractors, they didn't work directly for the house. Who knew?!

Rules aren't really necessary for FI.

Lol @ body glitter write offs I think a lot of strippers are independently contracted, they just pay a fee for the stage use at the beginning of the night. A B party FI went to a few years ago ended with a strip club and apparently because these "independent contractors" can come and go as they please, a few girls came back on the party bus with the guys.

Some of the guys may or may not have continued to party with the strippers at the end of the night. That would probably be my only issue with going to a strip club...(not saying that all strippers would continue to party for extra $$, but I know that's kind of what happened at this one).

Ndelible

No rules. He makes fun of us girls all the time that we are so boring (hanging in the hotel the night before with lotsa bubbly). The boys will be in downtown Vegas at a borderline place (cheap, clean, knows the owners) with a boob cake, alcohol and SKANKY strippers. I emphasize skanky because they all do (including his grooms woman, who is straight but def going to hang with guys). It will be the night before, with golf during the day, so that's the only thing I worry about - hung over boys. But it's a evening ceremony, so they got plenty of time to recover.

beharrington

MagicInk said:

We have the same rules for each other anytime we go out. They are as follows:

1. Try super hard not to get arrested.

2. If you get arrested say nothing until your attorney arrives.

3. Try to not wind up in the ER.

4. When you do wind up in the ER, make sure to notify the other person.

5. Don't get kick out of gay Dennys. Again.

6. If you or your friends vomit, you're in charge of cleaning it up in the morning. Aim for the toilet.

7. Call if you aren't coming home. 

8. Tip your bartender, stripper, waitress, and anyone else who helps you/gives you drink/brings you food.

9. Do not tip the cops. This is called a bribe and will violate rule number 1.

10. Have fun, don't die. 

I am stealing these and am considering stitching them onto a pillow....

SammiNJonni

My rules are don't do anything to get arrested, no drunk driving,  and don't get yourself or anyone else hurt. 

I could care less if he went to a strip club. 

thisismynickname2

1) No STDs (as in the diseases, not the save-the-dates, haha)

2) No jail

3) No coffin

I felt that pretty much summed everything up.  FI and his friends aren't exactly wild anyway.

Sugargirl1019

I politely reminded his friend that there were to be no ladies showing up at the ranch in the dark where they were hunting. Most all the guys were married anyway and were above that.

I also reminded then FI that he has a sexy better looking woman who would do ANYTHING he wanted at home, why would he torture himself not getting anything from a worse looking woman?

Strippers are a big deal for me. Feels like a betrayal. Idk why.

loveislouder

My FI's BM asked my opinion about the bachelor party - he wants to have FI and the party over for pizza, Mario Party, drinking and cupcakes.  I was like...uhh... sounds good? Haha.

I hate male strippers. No need to see that thing helicopter-ing all over the place.

VulgarGirl

beharrington said:

MagicInk said:

We have the same rules for each other anytime we go out. They are as follows:

1. Try super hard not to get arrested.

2. If you get arrested say nothing until your attorney arrives.

3. Try to not wind up in the ER.

4. When you do wind up in the ER, make sure to notify the other person.

5. Don't get kick out of gay Dennys. Again.

6. If you or your friends vomit, you're in charge of cleaning it up in the morning. Aim for the toilet.

7. Call if you aren't coming home. 

8. Tip your bartender, stripper, waitress, and anyone else who helps you/gives you drink/brings you food.

9. Do not tip the cops. This is called a bribe and will violate rule number 1.

10. Have fun, don't die. 

I am stealing these and am considering stitching them onto a pillow....

I would like to order a pillow with them stitched on if possible.

clarke10

FI and his buddies are doing a cabin in the woods with guns, beer and poker. My #1 rule was that guns must be locked up before the beer makes an appearance. He's very responsible with is guns and FBIL is a sheriff's deputy, so I'm not worried about that. 

Since they're staying at a cabin, we don't have to worry about drunk driving or gambling away all of our money. I told him I was fine with strippers, but he's not a fan.

beethery

Lol most strippers would go... yeah I'm not into entertaining at some woodland cabin. Sounds like the beginning of a horror movie to me

climbingsingle

loveislouder said:

My FI's BM asked my opinion about the bachelor party - he wants to have FI and the party over for pizza, Mario Party, drinking and cupcakes.  I was like...uhh... sounds good? Haha.

I hate male strippers. No need to see that thing helicopter-ing all over the place.

A male stripper once broke my pants while flipping me through the air. I wasn't happy. And after his perfomance, I told him he owed me $75. 

bahamabride2015

Strippers are fine, no hookers obviously.  Don't do anything that will get you in trouble with the law or injured (drunk driving) 

LadyMillil

I had my bach party with my school friends 1 month before the wedding because one of the organizers was PG and due a few days after the wedding. DH had his bach party in his hometown 4 days before the wedding. BIL told me everything they were doing and asked if I had rules. I did, but I don't think they were controlling. Stop 1 - paintball - Rule - no shots that would leave visible bruises Stop 2 - video games on cinema screen - no rules Stop 3 and 5 - food - make sure he doesn't eat anything that will give him food poisoning because I didn't want a wedding repeat of the proposal poop explosion Stop 4 - strip club - I said DH wasn't really in to that, but they went anyways. DH found it awkward because no one else wanted lap dances I also confirmed there was a DD. I trusted DH not to cheat and I trusted the DD to keep him uninjured and out of jail. DH did somehow manage to hurt his hand and we spent the first day after we were married at the ER because the hand pain was worsening. TK om nomed paragraphs

loveislouder

@beherrington I would definitely place an order for that pillow.

@climbingbrideNY Ew. My girlfriend went ot male strippers once and he asked for her a blow job on stage. She punched him in the face.

Maggie0829

I guess the only "rule" I had was I told H that if he got arrested at 3am to call his Mom because my ass was not going to be answering the phone.

But really, I don't get the whole boundaries/rules thing.  I am sure that within your relationship you know each others likes and dislikes and boundaries already so I don't really see there a need to restate them.  The person either respects your wishes or they don't.  And if they don't, then you probably shouldn't be marrying them.

smalfrie19

MegEn1 said:

FI went to a strip club once for a friend's Bachelor Party. He spent the whole time talking to one of the girls about how she does her taxes, if she can write off her body glitter, etc. Apparently strippers in this one place were actually independent contractors, they didn't work directly for the house. Who knew?!

Rules aren't really necessary for FI.

i did... actually all strip clubs are like that. Unless its like a peep show type thing. You are an independant contractor and you pay the house every night you work. 

mrsmorales2be

FI and I aren't having B parties.  If he were to have one, no ground rules would be necessary and nothing about it would bother me.  It's not like a B party is a special pass for behavior that would be unacceptable any other time in our relationship.  That said, I do encourage him to make time for his guy friends - rarely happens, since he tends to be a homebody. 

steph861

thisismynickname said:

1) No STDs (as in the diseases, not the save-the-dates, haha)

2) No jail

3) No coffin

I felt that pretty much summed everything up.  FI and his friends aren't exactly wild anyway.

No save-the-dates works as a rule too. You don't want him inviting randoms to the wedding when he's wasted!

beethery

loveislouder said:

@beherrington I would definitely place an order for that pillow.

@climbingbrideNY Ew. My girlfriend went ot male strippers once and he asked for her a blow job on stage. She punched him in the face.

MORE REASONS TO NOT LIKE MALE STRIPPERS. UGH.

Inkdancer

I told FBIL to bring FI home with all his pieces still attached. They also had a DD so no drunk driving was gonna happen. That's all I needed to know.

missdelilah

I'm pretty flexible on what FI does for his. I'm sure he'll get hopelessly drunk, end up at a strip club. It's fine with me. As long as he doesn't get himself hurt or arrested I'm fine with it. And I trust all his GM not to shave his head or anything.

themuffinman16

I didn't care about H going to a strip club. I feel more hoes are at a bar than at a strip club. You don't work at a Mexican restaurant  and want Mexican food as soon as you clock out.

At any rate, you should trust your man to be a gentleman in a room full of naked ladies.

themuffinman16

MegEn1 said:

FI went to a strip club once for a friend's Bachelor Party. He spent the whole time talking to one of the girls about how she does her taxes, if she can write off her body glitter, etc. Apparently strippers in this one place were actually independent contractors, they didn't work directly for the house. Who knew?!

Rules aren't really necessary for FI.

Strippers never work for the house. they are always independent contractors. Due to the nature of the business, if I stripper were to hurt someone doing a pole trick, tossing a midget off stage, the club is not liable for damages. And the clubs are not required to provide insurance for strippers since they "don't work there."

themuffinman16

My girlfriend went to the Canadian ballet, a while back (fully nude).  The stripper put his dick in her martini glass. She told him she didn't ask for a swizzle stick and he owed her a new drink. I would have puked. Nasty.

ashley8918

Rule 1) Don't die.

That's it.

ashley8918

themuffinman16 said:

MegEn1 said:

FI went to a strip club once for a friend's Bachelor Party. He spent the whole time talking to one of the girls about how she does her taxes, if she can write off her body glitter, etc. Apparently strippers in this one place were actually independent contractors, they didn't work directly for the house. Who knew?!

Rules aren't really necessary for FI.

Strippers never work for the house. they are always independent contractors. Due to the nature of the business, if I stripper were to hurt someone doing a pole trick, tossing a midget off stage, the club is not liable for damages. And the clubs are not required to provide insurance for strippers since they "don't work there."

Hahahaha, totally losing my shit over here! I'm pretty sure that FI thinks i'm having some sort of psychotic break.