Layout of Head Table w/SOs; King Table, whatever you'd like to call it!

adettma32

Those of you that have had your SOs sit with you and the wedding party, would you mind posting pictures of your reception area and how the seating arrangements were done with that sort of table. I like this idea instead of the traditional head table w/o SOs, but not sure how to do it. On the one hand, I personally enjoy seeing the head table "on display" at weddings but if I do a King's Table in the place the head table usually is at our venue, half the table would have their backs facing all of our guests. I've attached a photo of our reception venue. 

Maggie0829

Would there be a way to place the King's table in the center of the rest of your tables?  Like one end starts at the dance floor and the table extends down the center of the room.  Yeah, people will still have their backs to others but you are going to have that regardless if people are sitting at the kings table or just at a regular guest table.  Or you could even center the kings table in the room and then configure the other tables around it.

Or you could do the traditional head table but just make it large enough to fit everyone.

msuprincess04

My cousin had the set up you have as an example. It was great. Though some of the wedding party had their backs to the guests, the bride and groom didn't. A few things to think about, 1) no matter where you are, if you have round tables someone will have their back to the head table, 2) no one is staring at the head table for anything other than to see the bride and groom (even during speeches and stuff), and 3) during dinner no one is looking at the head table anyway.

slothiegal

We had a couple people with their backs to the crowd, but we were facing out.  Like PPs, there's always going to be some people facing the "wrong way".  Our table worked out really well, we were able to converse with all of our WP/their SOs, yet we were still "on display".

adettma32

slothiegal - Thank you so much for that photo. Beautiful reception venue, by the way!!

Lauderdale Pink

I don't have a picture, but a very long king's table facing the dance floor with all WP members and SOs facing the same direction towards the DJ/Band, bride and groom in the middle, the rest of the tables, round top, on the other two sides of the dance floor. You only get to talk to people on your left and right during dinner, but you really want people on the dance floor anyway, right?

Lauderdale Pink

@slothiegal - is that the Biltmore in Coral Gables?  Gorgeous photo.

Maggie0829

Lauderdale Pink said:

I don't have a picture, but a very long king's table facing the dance floor with all WP members and SOs facing the same direction towards the DJ/Band, bride and groom in the middle, the rest of the tables, round top, on the other two sides of the dance floor. You only get to talk to people on your left and right during dinner, but you really want people on the dance floor anyway, right?

That is not a king's table but rather a traditional head table.

slothiegal

Knottie94040166 said:

slothiegal - Thank you so much for that photo. Beautiful reception venue, by the way!!

No prob!  And thanks!

Lauderdale Pink said:

@slothiegal - is that the Biltmore in Coral Gables?  Gorgeous photo.

Nope, actually the Montecito Country Club--other side of the country  

Lauderdale Pink

@Maggie0829-yup you are correct, that was a traditional head table, got the names wrong.

jenijoyk

The only time I've seen this the B&G and WP members were all facing outward, like a normal head table. The WP's SOs then sat across from their dates (with their backs to the reception).  The B&G were right in the middle of the table, looking out, and no one was sitting in front of them so everyone could still see them. They all looked like they were having a very jovial time! I wanted us to be sitting up there with them too!

danamw

Why do the SO's have to be at the head table? If a venue is large enough, fine, but if it isn't unlimited space?

If you look at a wedding party as a bunch of people playing roles in the wedding, it is like a play or a pageant, and the SO's who aren't in the wedding party don't have a role. No wedding party stays at the head table all night, everyone is free to get up and join their SO after the official duties. If there are going to be toasts, spotlight dances, eating.

Are SO's really going to be so lonely or out of place among other adults, that they have to have their SO present at every moment, like a crutch or a security blanket? An adult throwing a temper tantrum like a 3 year old because their SO isn't by their side. What happened to individuality?

dramamonkey

danamw said:

Why do the SO's have to be at the head table? If a venue is large enough, fine, but if it isn't unlimited space?

If you look at a wedding party as a bunch of people playing roles in the wedding, it is like a play or a pageant, and the SO's who aren't in the wedding party don't have a role. No wedding party stays at the head table all night, everyone is free to get up and join their SO after the official duties. If there are going to be toasts, spotlight dances, eating.

Are SO's really going to be so lonely or out of place among other adults, that they have to have their SO present at every moment, like a crutch or a security blanket? An adult throwing a temper tantrum like a 3 year old because their SO isn't by their side. What happened to individuality?

To the bolded - because it's rude to your wedding party to seat them away from their significant others. It's not a crutch to have SOs sitting together - It shows no respect to your wedding party's relationships on a day when they are there to celebrate YOUR relationship. 

I mean, my husband's Best Man was his father! Should his father sit at the head table with the rest of the wedding party, while his mother sat somewhere else? They've been married for 45 years! 

We did a sweetheart table because we wanted our loved ones to sit with THEIR loved ones. I had a Bridesmaid who knew only a few people at my wedding, one of whom was her GUEST who traveled 6+ hours to attend my wedding...  Her guest only knew 2 people there... 

If I was in a wedding, and my husband wasn't going to be able to sit with me, he wouldn't go. Plain and simple. And I'd have serious questions about my relationship with the person getting married.  It has nothing to do individuality. 

NYCMercedes

danamw said:

Why do the SO's have to be at the head table? If a venue is large enough, fine, but if it isn't unlimited space?

If you look at a wedding party as a bunch of people playing roles in the wedding, it is like a play or a pageant, and the SO's who aren't in the wedding party don't have a role. No wedding party stays at the head table all night, everyone is free to get up and join their SO after the official duties. If there are going to be toasts, spotlight dances, eating.

Are SO's really going to be so lonely or out of place among other adults, that they have to have their SO present at every moment, like a crutch or a security blanket? An adult throwing a temper tantrum like a 3 year old because their SO isn't by their side. What happened to individuality?

What a horrible idea. It's not a play or pageant. It's a dinner party. One should be seated with one's SO.

danamw

All I know is, I was MOH in a wedding centuries ago, and we all sat at the head table until all the official things were done, then left the table and socialized and danced, table-hopping and chatting and having a good time.

Only the elderly sat in their chairs, at their table, all evening.

What if someone's husband was being honored in a work function, and was going to sit on the stage, give a speech, be toasted and feted? If everyone on the stage was not with their SO, would you insist you sit with him on the stage, or he isn't going?

Sounds kind of whipped. "No, Seymour will not be the groomsman in your wedding, unless I am stapled to his side for the day."

jenijoyk

For reals?

wrigleyville

Someone receiving an award is completely different from someone being a bridesmaid.

At a wedding, the bride and groom are in the "honored" position, so they are seated together at the head table.

Additionally, I've been to awards banquets where the person being honored has their spouse sitting next to them, so it does happen.

climbingsingle

danamw said:

All I know is, I was MOH in a wedding centuries ago, and we all sat at the head table until all the official things were done, then left the table and socialized and danced, table-hopping and chatting and having a good time.

Only the elderly sat in their chairs, at their table, all evening.

What if someone's husband was being honored in a work function, and was going to sit on the stage, give a speech, be toasted and feted? If everyone on the stage was not with their SO, would you insist you sit with him on the stage, or he isn't going?

Sounds kind of whipped. "No, Seymour will not be the groomsman in your wedding, unless I am stapled to his side for the day."

You can't actually be serious with this nonsense. 

danamw

Yes, protesting that you and your SO will not be seated side by side 100% of the time is dependent craziness. If I saw a person acting up because their SO was at the head table and they were not, I would be laughing into my hand.

jenijoyk

I haven't "acted up" (what does that mean? throwing mashed potatoes?) because I haven't been seated with my SO at a head table. But I was pissed about it. And we still bring it up because it was so amazingly rude. Let me paint the picture: We are invited to an OOT wedding, where FI is a groomsmen. I know no one at this wedding, but because I am a normal person who enjoys weddings, am pumped to go. We spend $ on a nice gift, plane tickets, a rental car, and a hotel room. I take a day off work so we can be in town for the rehearsal dinner. At noon the day of the wedding, my FI leaves the hotel to go get ready. (Here is where you start the clock.) I head to the ceremony by myself. I sit through the ceremony by myself. I go to cocktail hour by myself because the WP is now taking pictures. Cocktail hour is actually 1.5 hours because... whatever. Then we finally go into the reception. I now haven't actually spoken to my fiance for about 8 hours. And then I find my seat... At some random table in the back, next to a bratty 3 year old and two couples that seem practically mute. It was interminable. I was bored. I was annoyed. And I thought it was rude. I spent a ton of money, and literally DAYS of my time to have a crappy, boring time. Do you want your WP's SOs to have a crappy, boring time at your wedding? I want all my WP's SO to have a super fun, lovely time at my wedding. ESPECIALLY because they've put up with my WP having to do things like rent tuxes, buy dresses, get ready with me in the bridal suite, attend bachelorette parties and showers... it takes A LOT of time and investment to be in a wedding party. So just be nice to your WP's SOs so they don't side eye you and complain about you behind your back. It's so obvious.

jenijoyk

Besides that, I think head tables without SOs look really dated. Like we've travelled back to 1999 dated.

climbingsingle

Seating your bridal party members without their SOs is rude. It has nothing to do with people being dependent on their SOs, or being whipped. That seriously has got to be one the dumbest things I've ever read on here. 

Being a good host means putting your guests' comfort as a top priority. Why would anyone want to attend a wedding and NOT sit with their SO? 

NYCMercedes

@danamw‌ To answer your question, yes, I was seated on the dias next to my husband when he was seated next to the Secretary of Defense when he was honored.

danamw

Then it is just one thing that I don't get. Why a grown person has to be slobbering all over their SO all the time, and gets mad and bored when they aren't near.

I was married in 1992. My wedding was at my FMIL's house, the ceremony followed by reception. Our music was a boom box. My sister-in-laws cooked the food, and the guests liked it. I got ready in a bedroom with my MOH. I bought my dress at JC Penneys.

It wasn't a PPD by the definition of the posters on the knot, but I was happy. Most brides would rather be dipped in dog doo than have their wedding like mine.

climbingsingle

danamw said:

Then it is just one thing that I don't get. Why a grown person has to be slobbering all over their SO all the time, and gets mad and bored when they aren't near.

I was married in 1992. My wedding was at my FMIL's house, the ceremony followed by reception. Our music was a boom box. My sister-in-laws cooked the food, and the guests liked it. I got ready in a bedroom with my MOH. I bought my dress at JC Penneys.

It wasn't a PPD by the definition of the posters on the knot, but I was happy. Most brides would rather be dipped in dog doo than have their wedding like mine.

Sorry, but I think this post speaks volumes about you and your relationship. WOW. 

And seriously? Why are you even here on these boards? Every post I've seen from you is talking about what you did in the 90s and how the wedding you had is so old-school, that no one does is that way anymore. Which is NOT TRUE. Stop making assumptions about the kind of weddings being planned. 

danamw

You are absolutely right. I add nothing to these boards.

beethery

ClimbingBrideNY said:

show previous quotes

danamw said:

Then it is just one thing that I don't get. Why a grown person has to be slobbering all over their SO all the time, and gets mad and bored when they aren't near.

I was married in 1992. My wedding was at my FMIL's house, the ceremony followed by reception. Our music was a boom box. My sister-in-laws cooked the food, and the guests liked it. I got ready in a bedroom with my MOH. I bought my dress at JC Penneys.

It wasn't a PPD by the definition of the posters on the knot, but I was happy. Most brides would rather be dipped in dog doo than have their wedding like mine.

Sorry, but I think this post speaks volumes about you and your relationship. WOW. 

And seriously? Why are you even here on these boards? Every post I've seen from you is talking about what you did in the 90s and how the wedding you had is so old-school, that no one does is that way anymore. Which is NOT TRUE. Stop making assumptions about the kind of weddings being planned. 

People plan rude stuff all the time. It ain't something people don't do anymore.

I'm going to burn out this grinch smile gif istg.

Viczaesar

danamw said:

Then it is just one thing that I don't get. Why a grown person has to be slobbering all over their SO all the time, and gets mad and bored when they aren't near.

I was married in 1992. My wedding was at my FMIL's house, the ceremony followed by reception. Our music was a boom box. My sister-in-laws cooked the food, and the guests liked it. I got ready in a bedroom with my MOH. I bought my dress at JC Penneys.

It wasn't a PPD by the definition of the posters on the knot, but I was happy. Most brides would rather be dipped in dog doo than have their wedding like mine.

WTF are you talking about?  Are you drunk?

wrigleyville

danamw said:

Then it is just one thing that I don't get. Why a grown person has to be slobbering all over their SO all the time, and gets mad and bored when they aren't near.

I was married in 1992. My wedding was at my FMIL's house, the ceremony followed by reception. Our music was a boom box. My sister-in-laws cooked the food, and the guests liked it. I got ready in a bedroom with my MOH. I bought my dress at JC Penneys.

It wasn't a PPD by the definition of the posters on the knot, but I was happy. Most brides would rather be dipped in dog doo than have their wedding like mine.

WTF does your wedding have to do with anything in this thread? For your information, plenty of people have weddings just like yours and are happy with them. My wedding was actually extremely similar to yours, except I didn't ask or let my family prepare the food. Other than that, we used an iPod for music, had our reception in our hotel suite, invited only 40 people, and got our wedding clothes on clearance.

As to the first bit, sitting next to your SO or spouse at dinner isn't exactly "slobbering all over them" and has nothing to do with being mad/bored when they aren't near. I travel without my husband all the time. We are apart from each other for weeks at a time, and we are fine with that. We are independent people. Sometimes we even sleep in separate bedrooms. 

However, when we attend a function, such as a wedding, it is stupid to seat us separately, as we are a social unit. There is absolutely no good reason to separate couples during dinner. None.

littlestmonkey

OP, I don't have any pictures to post but we had a kings table with 14 people on both sides of a long table. That table was in the middle of the room and surrounded by round tables. I loved it because I felt like we were part of the party rather than on display and a few people commented on how nice it was that SO's were included on the kings table.

ohannabelle

danamw said:

Why do the SO's have to be at the head table? If a venue is large enough, fine, but if it isn't unlimited space?

If you look at a wedding party as a bunch of people playing roles in the wedding, it is like a play or a pageant, and the SO's who aren't in the wedding party don't have a role. No wedding party stays at the head table all night, everyone is free to get up and join their SO after the official duties. If there are going to be toasts, spotlight dances, eating.

Are SO's really going to be so lonely or out of place among other adults, that they have to have their SO present at every moment, like a crutch or a security blanket? An adult throwing a temper tantrum like a 3 year old because their SO isn't by their side. What happened to individuality?

What kind of nonsense is this?

A wedding isn't a play or a pageant, and people aren't playing parts. So why would you "look at it like that." 

Your wedding party are honored guests. Your reception is to thank your guests. Look at it like that, because, uhm, yep, that's what it is.

You seat your guests with their partner at dinners because it's gracious, people are more comfortable seated with someone they know, and a kind hostess who cares about her guests wants everyone to be at their most comfortable and happy.

It has fuck all to do with crutches or security blankets or individuality.

And where did the imaginary temper tantrum come in? Or the slobbering?

And where did the 1992 wedding figure in, and what does that have to do with the price of a Chai Latte in San Francisco?

Congratulations?

So much confusing nonsense. Just....why?