Is my FMIL trying to outdo me?

mryltis

My FMIL does like me, but I'm marrying her first born, and she doesn't have daughters of her own. This is the second dress she's bought and she loves it, thinks it's perfect.  We're doing a daytime wedding.  I think her dress is way too formal and the ugliest thing I've ever seen. It reminds me of my grandmother's couch.  The other is my dress.   Is she trying to outdo me? I would love some honest feedback and advice on how to calm down.  

lovesclimbing

Honestly, I think it's a gorgeous dress. No I don't think she's trying to outdo you. It seems to me she's trying to look nice for her sons wedding.

In the long run, what she's wearing won't affect your wedding. Also, she's an adult and can choose what she wears.

ETA: I just saw you said it's a daytime wedding. Yes, i think it's maybe a bit formal, but I still think what I said applies.

AddieCake

Yes. Any time a guest wears something she likes and feels beautiful in, she is definitely trying to outdo the bride. It's a huge conspiracy. Brides need to band together and shut these nicely dressed guests down!

southernbelle0915

I guess I don't understand how she could "outdo" you if you think its "the ugliest dress you've ever seen" and "looks like your grandmothers couch".

That looks like a verY typical MOG/MOB dress. I would never see one of the mothers wearing that and think she was trying to outdo the bride.

It sounds like you have some beef with her and you're letting it affect your judgment here. Let it go.

doeydo

I think it is gorgeous.  Perhaps it is a bit formal for your daytime wedding, but being overdressed is better than being under-dressed, IMO, and she is probably just excited to be a MOG and so she is wearing a fancy dress.

emmyg65

Who cares? She gets to wear what she wants. And ftr, no.

misshart00

Yes, she's trying to outdo you. You should get another dress to make sure you're the one to stand out.

STARMOON44

You're wearing a giant ball gown to your day time wedding so I really don't see the problem with her dress at all. I think it's lovely and tasteful.

Senecaf

I think it is a nice dress, very standard. There is no possibility she is going to come close to outdoing you.

missdelilah

I think it's a lovely dress.  I don't think at all that she's trying to outdo you.  I simply think she wants to look nice.  And really, it's almost impossible to outdo a bride.

JennyColada

I feel like your dress is a little too much for your daytime wedding too.

So I don't see an issue with hers at all!

Ndelible

Well, if your attitude here is any indication, she will outshine you by simply smiling. Perhaps finding out what the real issue you have with her would be a start to finding your inner beauty.

[Deleted User]

1. It's fine, and she likes it, so shush.

2. How can she possibly outdo a bride?

3. You complain that it's a daytime wedding, but you're wearing a ballgown, so is it too formal? You already set a high bar (that she's probably just trying to meet, not outdo).

4. All this "It's so ugly, OMG!" just sounds petty. This woman is about to be your family, and you're stuck with her for life. Dial back the anger, She-hulk.

mryltis

I know, I need to let it go.  I have other issues with her, so everything she does has a tendency to upset me.  I don't have a mom, so her trying so hard is difficult for me to understand.  I needed the reality check and you ladies have sure given it!  Thanks.

weddingcactus

mryltis said:

I know, I need to let it go.  I have other issues with her, so everything she does has a tendency to upset me.  I don't have a mom, so her trying so hard is difficult for me to understand.  I needed the reality check and you ladies have sure given it!  Thanks.

I am so pleased to see your follow up here. Shows maturity that you were able to accept the necessary reality check. Your dress is very lovely and on the formal side for a daytime wedding (which I think is just fine). Your FMIL's dress is demure and very typical of what I'd expect to see a mother of the groom wearing to coordinate with a bride's ball gown. Certainly not going to show up (or even trying to show up) your dress. If you're having issues with your FMIL, perhaps you can talk things through with your FI to help settle your feelings before the wedding.