Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Party
Wedding Party
New Discussion
Options

choosing bridesmaids

Knottie51079876Knottie51079876 member
Name Dropper First Comment
in Wedding Party
So, I am having a VERY difficult time choosing my bridal party. I have nine girls on the list and I'm trying to cut two. ANY advice would be GREATLY appreciated. My sister and Future sister in law will be in the party for sure for sure, but there are 7 friends/practically sisters that I'm having to choose between. The maid of honor is my Best friend from childhood. I have read everything about just going with what you want, and if they are true friends it wont really matter if they are in the wedding or not. It has been soooo very hard to decided because all 7 of my friends have been in contact with me since the day my fiance proposed. They all want to be involved and I love it but this has made this the most difficult decision in planning my wedding. I don't really want to do the whole honorary bridesmaid thing...I feel like that would be even more of a slap in the face than not asking them. I want them to know they are important to me but I don't want them to feel like the didn't make the cut.
Report Reply to Post

Re: choosing bridesmaids

  • Options
    chibiyuichibiyui member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Is there a reason why you can't have 9? It's not that big of a difference quantity wise.
    image



    Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Knottie51079876Knottie51079876 member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    My fiance and I are wanting a smaller bridal party and the guest list is pretty small in general. it would look kind of silly if majority of the guest were in the wedding. :) There isn't a need for that many honestly. I think five would be a better number. My sister has pretty much already appointed herself a bridesmaid as much as I don't want her to be in it. I would be fine if I didn't have to ask my sister and FSIL :/
    Report Reply
  • Options
    lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie51079876 said:
    So, I am having a VERY difficult time choosing my bridal party. I have nine girls on the list and I'm trying to cut two. ANY advice would be GREATLY appreciated. My sister and Future sister in law will be in the party for sure for sure, but there are 7 friends/practically sisters that I'm having to choose between. The maid of honor is my Best friend from childhood. I have read everything about just going with what you want, and if they are true friends it wont really matter if they are in the wedding or not. It has been soooo very hard to decided because all 7 of my friends have been in contact with me since the day my fiance proposed. They all want to be involved and I love it but this has made this the most difficult decision in planning my wedding. I don't really want to do the whole honorary bridesmaid thing...I feel like that would be even more of a slap in the face than not asking them. I want them to know they are important to me but I don't want them to feel like the didn't make the cut.
    Knottie51079876 said:
    My fiance and I are wanting a smaller bridal party and the guest list is pretty small in general. it would look kind of silly if majority of the guest were in the wedding. :) There isn't a need for that many honestly. I think five would be a better number. My sister has pretty much already appointed herself a bridesmaid as much as I don't want her to be in it. I would be fine if I didn't have to ask my sister and FSIL :/
    I don't think it would look silly. Peoples feelings are more important anyway, unless you have fewer guests than attendants, then it might make your guests feel badly for not being included?

    I don't think there's any way to "cut" people without the potential for hurt feelings. Have them all, choose family only (if you haven't already asked anyone non-family), or make your arbitrary choice about the 5 and own the fact that it may be hurtful for the other 4.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    How far out is your wedding? Have you asked any of these women?




    Report Reply
  • Options
    lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    sarahbear31 said:
    How far out is your wedding? Have you asked any of these women?
    Great question. I assumed she hadn't asked anyone other than the MOH. OP, If you have already asked anyone you cannot cut them without damaging the friendship perhaps permanently. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Knottie51079876Knottie51079876 member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    Our wedding is going to be in October of 2015. I haven't asked any of the girls yet including my sister. she told me it was her birth right to be in my wedding...hints the self-appointed :/ I never in a million years though this was going to be the hardest decision.  
    Report Reply
  • Options
    lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I like CMG's idea best if you must "cut" your list.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie51079876 said:
    Our wedding is going to be in October of 2015. I haven't asked any of the girls yet including my sister. she told me it was her birth right to be in my wedding...hints the self-appointed :/ I never in a million years though this was going to be the hardest decision.  
    Yeah, that would bug me about your sister, too.  Wait a few months before asking people to be in your WP.  You don't need to know this far out, and relationships can often change.  Don't choose people based on how involved / helpful they are.  Ask them because you can't imagine not having them by your side on your wedding day.



    And I also like @cmgragain's suggestion.




    Report Reply
  • Options
    Knottie51079876Knottie51079876 member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    thanks everyone. I like the idea of just three :)@sarahbear31 your right I should hold off...the only reason I even started thinking about it was i figured that would be an easy thing to scratch off the list. boy was i wrong.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Knottie51079876 said:
    Our wedding is going to be in October of 2015. I haven't asked any of the girls yet including my sister. she told me it was her birth right to be in my wedding...hints the self-appointed :/ I never in a million years though this was going to be the hardest decision.  
    Oh FFS. IF you don't want her to be a BM, don't ask her. You're allowed to say no to her. It's not a four-letter word.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    chibiyuichibiyui member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    zitiqueen said:
    Knottie51079876 said:
    Our wedding is going to be in October of 2015. I haven't asked any of the girls yet including my sister. she told me it was her birth right to be in my wedding...hints the self-appointed :/ I never in a million years though this was going to be the hardest decision.  
    Oh FFS. IF you don't want her to be a BM, don't ask her. You're allowed to say no to her. It's not a four-letter word.
    Agreed. If you don't want your sister and FSIL to be BM's, don't ask. They might be upset for a bit, but then they can build a bridge and get over it.
    image



    Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I wouldn't let anyone force their way into my wedding party.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment

    Another vote for just the 3 BM. This way none of your friends are hurt. Ok they might be disappointed a little, but in the end, they will still get to be there celebrating your big day with you, dancing the night away & if you have a bridal shower and/or bachlorette party I'm sure you would invite them. So they wouldn't be missing out on anything except having to buy a dress. And for you that means not having the expense of 7 bouquets and 7 gifts (plus then that number of men too) and having to wrangle together all those seperate personalities.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    jerkyannejerkyanne member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Why does everyone feel obligated to have FSILs in their Bridal Party? Seriously.

    Have whoever the fuck you want and ignore blood ties to the roles.

    My BP is 2 men, 3 women. None of which are in laws. He has 4 sisters, none of which I am that close to. He didn't want them on his side. Oh well.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    bmydesignerbmydesigner member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    edited September 2014
    jerkyanne said:
    Why does everyone feel obligated to have FSILs in their Bridal Party? Seriously. Have whoever the fuck you want and ignore blood ties to the roles. My BP is 2 men, 3 women. None of which are in laws. He has 4 sisters, none of which I am that close to. He didn't want them on his side. Oh well.
    Because most people don't realize that it's not requred. I believe in most family circles, it's tradition to have FSILs / FBILs in the wedding party. Just because it's tradition doesn't mean it's right, I'm just saying that is why it happens all the time.

    OP, do what works best for you. I like the 3 BMs idea, but make sure you're not asking anyone that you really don't want to. Good luck! :)

    *Edited because words are hard
    Report Reply
  • Options
    peachy13peachy13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I have nine bridesmaids, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I know it's insane and I brush off the looks people give me when I tell them the size of my bridal party. Don't care. I love all those girls and would not love myself if I had to cut one or two of them just because 7 is a more "reasonable" number.

    Go for it, and have fun with your epic awesome bridal party!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


    Report Reply
  • Options
    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If you decide to include your sister and FSIL (you certainly do NOT have to and your sister's entitlement would make me want to exclude her), then I'd do those two and the MOH.

    If the rest of the girls want to be involved, you all can go get pedicures together the day before the wedding or something. If they really are like sisters to you, reserve a row for them at the ceremony. That's plenty to honor them.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards