Are 2 wedding ceremonies too much?

Knottie2279011

I REALLY want a beach wedding! But I am catholic and our marriage won't be recognized by the catholic church. Friends have mentioned having 2 ceremonies but our families think 2 ceremonies are too much. are 2 ceremonies too much? Are there any other options?

HobokensFury

You get 1 or the other. Not both. Your family is right.

misshart00

Yes. 2 ceremonies is too many.

southernbelle0915

You only get married once (unless you get divorced) so yes. Two is inappropriate.

Can you get married in your church and find a beach side reception venue? So you can have your first dance, photos, etc at the beach? Best of both worlds.

CMGragain

It will offend many people - especially Catholics - for you to have a fake, re-do ceremony at the beach.  I doubt your priest would go along with it, either.  Your church ceremony is a SACRAMENT.
I like the pp's suggestion of a beach-side reception.

AddieCake

We all make choices. Either your Catholic faith or a beach wedding means more to you. Which is it?

misshart00

I also agree with a beachside reception or first look photos on the beach. That sounds like a great compromise.

photokitty

You can discuss your options with your priest. He may be willing to give you prior approval for a convalidation that will allow you have a beach ceremony and then have your marriage be recognized by the church. Don't have 2 ceremonies, but do talk to your priest about your options. GL!

holyguacamole79

photokitty said:

You can discuss your options with your priest. He may be willing to give you prior approval for a convalidation that will allow you have a beach ceremony and then have your marriage be recognized by the church. Don't have 2 ceremonies, but do talk to your priest about your options. GL!

Technically, the approval for a Catholic wedding to take place outside of a church has to go to the bishop. And a convalidation is when a couple is already married but wants their marriage recognized by the Church.

HobokensFury

photokitty said:

You can discuss your options with your priest. He may be willing to give you prior approval for a convalidation that will allow you have a beach ceremony and then have your marriage be recognized by the church. Don't have 2 ceremonies, but do talk to your priest about your options. GL!

Wanting a beach wedding is not a valid reason for a covalidation. There is no such thing as preapproval. It's like asking permission to commit a sin on the basis of going to confession later.

[Deleted User]

Another vote for church ceremony and then beach side reception or even just the photos. Remeber, no reason you can't do a beach vow renewal to celebrate say your 25th or 50th wedding anniversary

weddingcactus

Yes I think two ceremonies is too much. Can you find a beach front Catholic church? And/or how about a beach-side reception? 

Liatris2010

If a beach-side wedding isn't in the cards, you can do a honeymoon photo shoot with your dress. Two ceremonies is too much, you'll only be wedded in the first. After that, you'll just be playing make-believe.

blondeej

Yeah - ditto to what everyone else said. How about do a beach honeymoon!? That way you still get your beach fix - you can even bring your dress and his tux with and get some photographs done on the beach while you're there?

ETA - JUST NOW seeing Liatris basically said the exact same thing above. lol

atlastmrsg

Last time I posted this, some people freaked out about whether I truly cared about being Catholic because I did it. I don't really care what they think. I know my faith, you know yours. I had my Catholic wedding outdoors. The big difference--the "host" (lurkers--body and blood/wafers and wine) aren't present. I'm happy with my decision--it was a childhood farm back home that meant something to me. It's worth a chat with a liberal priest if it means that much to you to be beachside. Otherwise--lots of good ideas posted here like a church wedding and beach reception. Or even reception at a hotel/venue overlooking beach where you can go down for pics but not have the reception in the sand.

But yes, you get one ceremony. Not two.

holyguacamole79

@atlastmrsg, I'm curious - is your wedding recognized by the Roman Catholic Church?  Did the priest go to the bishop for a dispensation for your wedding? 

atlastmrsg

@sarahbear31 Yup...priest was a family friend and took care of things.  I don't know everything he had to do, but he took care of it.

holyguacamole79

@atlastmrsg, I can't lie. I'm kinda impressed. I doubt there are many priests like him, though.

atlastmrsg

@sarahbear31  He's amazing.  He was the first priest in the city to come out in support of the GLBT community.  Really special guy.  When we sat down with him, we were really honest, as in we've lived together for a few years now, gig's up, etc.  He just laughed and said we'd talk about what really mattered.  And we talked about our families, our goals, what's important to us...  He was really down to earth.  So from this, you're probably thinking he's really young--fresh priest, right?  Nope.  He's really really old!  Probably about 75!

holyguacamole79

@atlastmrsg Actually, the age doesn't surprise me. Younger priests just out of seminary would be too cautious to go against the grain. I'm glad you were able to find something that worked for you!