removed

blondewonder

removed

JCbride2015

blondewonder said:

Part rant/ part plea for help! I'm upset. I keep trying to tell myself to get over it, but it's not working. My fiancé and I have lived together 18 months and are getting married in October. We are in our late 30's, and it's my first wedding his second. My MOH and BM have been insisting that I have a shower, and after a lot of resisting (seriously), I finally agreed to let them. I sent my MOH dates and a guest list. We talked about it being a traditional shower and I was very firm that no one should be invited that isn't invited to the wedding also. I've also given her info for another friend and my FSIL that have offered to help. My FMIL and FSIL and several others have been asking for a month now if I'm having a shower. My BM hasn't reached out to anyone about a shower. My wedding is now 6 weeks away. MOH just reached out to my FSIL last week and decided on a date and to have it at my FSIL's house because it is in a central location. My MOH sent me a TEXT this morning stating that she is bowing out of the shower. She had too much going on with work, her daughter in HS, etc. She said she would pass all the info I gave her to my FSIL. I was shocked and asked her not to contact FSIL, that I would handle it. We've already had this discussion numerous times- I don't feel right having my FIL's hosting a shower. My MOH then told me that she would still have a shower for me, just not hosting with anyone else because she doesn't have time to communicate with a bunch of other people. My MOH is a cousin, but she's also one of my very best friends. We talk to each other almost daily. My BM is also one of my very best friends for over 28 years. She introduced me to my fiancé. I've hosted her baby shower. Her son's baby shower. I've been to every important function in their lives. Births, deaths and everything in between. I've helped raise their children. I know that a shower should not be expected. I was against having one in the first place, but after they talked me into it, I was actually looking forward to it. I've told anyone who has asked that they were handling it. My fiancé is pissed, he said he's lost count of how many times I've dropped everything to help them and can't believe she did this by text. And now I'm upset, but what do I do?

Wait so she didn't fully bow out, she just doesn't want to co-host with other people?  Sounds like that's their business as the hosts, and if she wants to still have a shower and be the only host, that's on her.

Or has she completely bowed out?  That sucks, but there's nothing you can do about it.  Lots of people don't get showers, and it sounds like she has a lot on her plate.  Stop trying to compare what you've done for her in the past. These things aren't tit for tat and you'll just hold a grudge that way.

blondewonder

removed