Old dress, new man

BriLD

In my senior year of high school, I got engaged and thought it was just the best thing ever. Caught up in the excitement, I went dress shopping shortly after my 18th birthday with my mother and friends. I found a dress I really loved and purchased it but low and behold, four months before my scheduled wedding date, the bomb was dropped that he had been cheating on me with a woman he met while working away, I quickly broke it off. Why would I start a life with someone who cheated before we even got married? So now, three years later, I am engaged to an amazing man (we moved in together in January) and I have this dress, never worn and hanging in a closet. I still think the dress is beautiful, but is it wrong to wear that dress when I marry my FI? My parents (who bought the dress) want me to wear it because it is the dress I picked out and loved, but I'm having mixed feelings. I have thrown around the idea of wearing the dress in the ceremony to pacify my parents and MOH, and buying a second dress for the reception. Any thoughts?

mrsconn23

It's just a dress. It harbors nothing good or bad because it's an inanimate object. If you love it, wear it. 

Sidenote: By my calculations, you're 21 and on your second engagement? What's the rush? (I'm not being snarky, just honestly curious).

Heffalump

I know there are a lot of two dress brides out there, but it feels unnecessarily complicated, to me.  Wear the dress you love.

*Barbie*

mrs.conn23 said:

It's just a dress. It harbors nothing good or bad because it's an inanimate object. If you love it, wear it. 

Sidenote: By my calculations, you're 21 and on your second engagement? What's the rush? (I'm not being snarky, just honestly curious).

^^^^ this 100%

kerbohl

I agree with PP about wearing the dress.  I don't see anything wrong with it.

BriLD

mrs.conn23 said:

It's just a dress. It harbors nothing good or bad because it's an inanimate object. If you love it, wear it. 

Sidenote: By my calculations, you're 21 and on your second engagement? What's the rush? (I'm not being snarky, just honestly curious).

 It's not really a rush type thing. The first was just a mistake made by someone who didn't know better. To be clear, I am from a very small rural town in the South, and it you aren't married by 25 it's almost like you're defective. I graduated three years ago and about 15 of my 56 person class is now married and either has a child or one on the way. It's almost like living in the 1950's, seriously. Our parents, his and mine, are not rushing us by any means, but others in our town think it is wrong that we have lived together for almost a year and aren't married yet (there's some very judgmental people around here.) I just chalk it up to the Bible Belt mentality  

tawillers

BriLD said:

mrs.conn23 said:

It's just a dress. It harbors nothing good or bad because it's an inanimate object. If you love it, wear it. 

Sidenote: By my calculations, you're 21 and on your second engagement? What's the rush? (I'm not being snarky, just honestly curious).

 It's not really a rush type thing. The first was just a mistake made by someone who didn't know better. To be clear, I am from a very small rural town in the South, and it you aren't married by 25 it's almost like you're defective. I graduated three years ago and about 15 of my 56 person class is now married and either has a child or one on the way. It's almost like living in the 1950's, seriously. Our parents, his and mine, are not rushing us by any means, but others in our town think it is wrong that we have lived together for almost a year and aren't married yet (there's some very judgmental people around here.) I just chalk it up to the Bible Belt mentality  

Sounds awful.  Sorry.

mrsconn23

tawillers said:

BriLD said:

mrs.conn23 said:

It's just a dress. It harbors nothing good or bad because it's an inanimate object. If you love it, wear it. 

Sidenote: By my calculations, you're 21 and on your second engagement? What's the rush? (I'm not being snarky, just honestly curious).

 It's not really a rush type thing. The first was just a mistake made by someone who didn't know better. To be clear, I am from a very small rural town in the South, and it you aren't married by 25 it's almost like you're defective. I graduated three years ago and about 15 of my 56 person class is now married and either has a child or one on the way. It's almost like living in the 1950's, seriously. Our parents, his and mine, are not rushing us by any means, but others in our town think it is wrong that we have lived together for almost a year and aren't married yet (there's some very judgmental people around here.) I just chalk it up to the Bible Belt mentality  

Sounds awful.  Sorry.

That's quite the non-answer.  

Also, people will judge you all day, every day for everything you ever do.  So have fun with that if you're going to live your life based off how people are going to judge you. 

6fsn

"I don't want the town to think I'm old and defective" sounds like a legit reason to get married to me.

I get that this mentality exists, but you don't have to perpetuate it or continue to live there.

Heffalump

6fsn said:

I get that this mentality exists, but you don't have to perpetuate it or continue to live there.

That was my thought, as well.  DH grew up in a similar type of area (though even they've progressed, and it's hard to imagine many places smaller or more isolated than those) and left as soon as he had a car and an acceptance letter.

Not trying to go off track, OP, it's just that usually there is some variation of "I've met this amazing person and we have a fantastic relationship and I can't imagine spending the rest of my life without him!" not "Well, people are talking, so I guess we'd better tie the knot."