wedding program help- parents not in attendance and cousin walk me down aisle

lukapurple

hello - my parents are in another country and won't be able to attend my wedding in NC due to my Mom's illness, so my cousin will walk me down the asle. Need your advice re how to mention the situation and introduce my cousin on my program. I also want to honor my fiancee's grandmother who has recently left us. Please let me know what you think of below: Our Family Bride's Parents – Father's Name and Mother's Name Groom's Parents - Father's Name and Mother's Name At this joyous time we wish to remember brides' parents (should I mention names again here?) who are not able to be here in person with us due to illness. And we would also like to remember groom’s grandmother, the late [full name] , who is no longer with us but still watching over us. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

AprilH81

I would not mention your parents or deceased relatives in the program.  It is too sad and puts the emphasis on who is NOT there over who IS there.

In the program I would make a note that the "Bride's Name" is being escorted by her cousin, "Cousin's name"

ScoutF

I don't see an issue with listing either in the program. I'd do something like this:

Order of Ceremony

Procession...(can list out bridesmaids, parents, etc.)

Procession of Bride....escorted by John Doe

We listed H's grandparents in the program even though they weren't able to make it. I like your idea of mentioning those who could not be there, but I wouldn't mention anything about illness or death. 

melbenso

Regarding honoring your grandmother who has passed, rather than put a note in the program, is there something of hers you can carry with you or wear?  Some piece of music that she loved that you could play? Things like that will have more meaning to you than a note in a program will to your guests.

Both of my grandmothers have passed away.  I wore a piece of jewelry that had belonged to each of them at my wedding.

Also, DH and I chose to honor a number of our loved ones who had passed away by playing their favorite songs as the music for guests to listen to as they arrived for the ceremony.  We had a short, simple note at the back of our program indicating that the pre-ceremony music was in honor of loved ones who were no longer with us. 

SP29

The program is to detail the event of the day. Just seems a bit odd to me to mention people who aren't present for the ceremony in it.

Carrying/wearing something of your grandmother would be lovely. You can also mention your parents in your thank you speech at the reception. 

As for your cousin escorting you, I agree with, "Bride being escorted by her cousin, Name". 

huskypuppy14

In my circle it's very common to put an in remembrance at the end of the program. This is only for people who have passed, not those who just are not there.  I don't think there is anything wrong with that. 

My officiant also made an announcement that we would like to take a moment to think of those who couldn't be here today. It didn't mention death or illness.  

Jen4948

List your cousin as "Escorted by Name, Cousin of the Bride." 

I don't think it's a good idea to call too much attention to illness or death in your program.  I would just list your parents but I would not use the wording "At this joyous time we wish to remember...who cannot be with us due to illness" or whatever the reason why living persons are absent.  For one thing, the word "remember" suggests that they are dead, which they are not; for another, no one wants to be reminded of illness at what should be a happy occasion; and finally, it really doesn't concern anyone else why they're not there.

All that said, I would be fine with a tribute to your FI's grandmother or other deceased loved ones in the program, but I would probably do it by either by just listing their names and relationships and putting an asterisk after their names with "In Loving Memory" or another suitable caption at the bottom, or by putting their names with the years of their birth and death and perhaps a paragraph about them on a separate page of the program, perhaps at the back.  What I wouldn't do is use any "We wish to remember X" wording because that could come across as too sad.