I'm hoping that I can get advice from you all on something which is leaving me anxious about the big day. I hate drama. I don't ever
want a scene. This is supposed to be a celebration of the love that I
share with a wonderful man, and the life that we've chosen to spend
together. Unfortunately, my strained relationship with my mother has me nervous that she'll make the day all about her drama, and her negativity.
My mother is a difficult person, at best. She's got some mental health issues (bi-polar and narcissism). What that means, in terms of her behavior, is that it's next to impossible for her to put other people ahead of herself. She thinks it's funny to belch in public places, to call out from the audience in shows, and to make light of that which is precious to others. She thinks it's fine to talk politics/religion/money, even when it makes others uncomfortable. Despite
all that, she takes offense at the smallest perceived slight (and has no problem making a scene - in fact, she enjoys being the center of attention). Frankly, I would
prefer not to have her present on my wedding day - I've seen her ruin special events for too many people to expect better results this time around. However, that would
lead to more drama, for countless years. How can I keep her on mute? Do I
hire a babysitter for her? Do I give her a 'talking-to' in advance? On
the one hand, I feel that it's necessary to do something to keep her
from ruining our day, but on the other, she might fly off the handle if
she feels insulted (and would likely bring this up on my wedding day, in front of others, making me look like the bad guy).