wedding starting on time?

jules3964

I went to a wedding over the weekend that started 45 minutes after the start time on the invitation. I thought it was pretty ridiculous and actually wondered if they had planned it that way. People were grumbling that they wished there was water or something to drink because it was hot, but other than that no one really complained about it (except me in my head).

Anyway, my question is, do people actually EXPECT weddings to start late? We only got to this wedding 10 minutes early and hardly anyone was there yet… although people filed in pretty quickly after that. I really, really want our wedding to start on time and I'm nervous about lots of people being late, especially if they expect weddings to start late. FI told me he wants to wait for most everyone before we start because many people are traveling from far away.

RebeccaFlower

No, people don't expect weddings to start late. Assholes make their guests wait 45 minutes. 

misshart00

I don't expect weddings to start late. I might not be surprised if one started 5 minutes late, but by 45 minutes, I would be complaining.

Cookie Pusher

I don't expect weddings to start late and neither do most of my friends/family. Our wedding started a few minutes late (a bit of a traffic jam getting the hotel shuttle away from the ceremony site), but everyone was already there well before the start-time. If anyone came in late, I didn't notice them - and they didn't make any cameos on the video by walking in with the wedding party.

beethery

No, I get mad when weddings are late. FSIL and her family were 45 minutes late to her wedding in the hot ass venue with no bathroom and I was livid. 

JCbride2015

I always expect weddings to start on time.  Every wedding I has been to, save one, has started on time.

The wedding that did not start on time was FBIL, who purposely put a fake time on their invite half an hour earlier than the planned time.  I was pretty pissed.

NYCMercedes

I went to one wedding that started late. I asked the MOB about it years later and she said that all weddings start late. SMH

allispain

Every wedding I've attended has started promptly on time, including ours. We had 2 pairs or guests that showed up after it started, but we had plenty of chairs so they just quietly found a spot in the back (one of many reasons it's good to have extra chairs...).

littlestmonkey

I wouldn't bat an eyelid if a wedding started 5-10 minutes late but I'd never expect it to start 45 minutes late!

I arrive right on time and had to sit in the car for a few minutes while some of our guests hurried into the church - apparently there was a second church in the area with exactly the same name and it caused a lot of confusion among the taxi drivers!

Nymeru

I always show up to weddings on time, but I have never been to a wedding that started on time.  All of them started 15-30 minutes past the start time on the invitation.

I've worked a lot of weddings as well, and only rarely did the start on time.  I always expect a 15 minute delay.

larrygaga

I expect 5-10 minutes, like a movie or a show. Anything more than that is assholeish.

I went to a wedding where most people were nagging at the bride all day and she couldn't get ready, and they were calling her for directions and complaining to her that they didn't like their hotel room or whatever stupid shit. Everyone knew where she was getting ready and wouldn't leave her alone. It was awful.

She was 40 minutes late, and she at first she was so worked up about being late. Then she realized it wasn't her fault, and she stopped caring about making everyone wait for her. 

I fully expect to start late because most of our family/guests won't get there on time. Too bad, everyone can wait 5-10 minutes for me if they can't show up on time. I'm a rude person, I guess. 

mrscaty

I hope ours will start on time but, at most, I'd wait 5-10 minutes if everyone wasn't there. We're having a small wedding (30 people) so I do want everyone there when we start.

ETA: 45 minutes is ridiculous. Never. Ever. Would I make people wait that long.

Sars06

Our wedding started at 5pm, and by God, I was walking down that aisle at 5pm! I did encounter a few guests as I walked to the church, but they sheepishly hurried in once they saw us coming.

I cannot fathom making people wait 45 minutes. 

bahamabride2015

I was at a wedding a couple years ago where we waited an hour and half for the entire bridal party.  The groom showed up after an hour and the bride was a half hour behind him.  Crazy.  It was here in the Bahamas so you expect "island time" but that was just ridiculous.

Maggie0829

If I am told that something is supposed to start at X time then I expect it to start at X time, not X time plus Y minutes.  To start a wedding late (and I am talking 15 minutes or more) is very disrespectful to your guests.  They are taking time out of their lives to watch you get married the least you could do is respect their time and start your ceremony when you say you will.

kmmssg

"Weddings always start late" is a huge pet peeve of mine.  That is just poor planning (barring a true emergency).

ALL of my girls' weddings started exactly on time and so did both of mine.  The Army taught me the art of backwards planning and, done correctly, it never fails (barring an emergency).

I read on here from time to time about people having to wait an hour or an hour and a half for a wedding to start and I have never had that happen to me.  I think I would want to just leave but I don't know if I really would.  I can't imagine that happening!

TerriHugg

I will preface this by saying I am a stickler for time. My time is valuable and I hate when people are late because it is a complete lack of respect for my time. I am also early for everything. I pride myself in being punctual. If you tell me to be somewhere at 6:00 I will be waiting in the parking lot at 5:30. That's just how I am. 

That being said, I tend to be a bit more lenient when it comes to weddings. I'm one of those people who never expect a wedding to start on time mostly because I've never been to a wedding that has. While I get everyone's point, I guess I'm a bit more understanding that there are number of variables that can affect a wedding start time no matter how careful you were with planning and scheduling. 

As long as the wedding starts within 30 minutes of the presumed start time, I'm not made. Besides, I'm usually too busy chatting it up with other guests at the wedding to get made about a wedding being late. 

ETA: I'd be pissed after 30 minutes nothing happened. 45 minutes is ridiculous

vh2014

We started on time... I read somewhere that you should start your timeline 15 minutes later than your invitations say.  I threw that advice out the window.  I had shuttles from the hotel so most guests had no choice but to be on time unless they drove.  I don't remember anyone being late, but it was outdoors so they could have slipped in and I don't think anyone was looking at them when they did. I personally get annoyed when weddings are more than a few minutes late and I have to sit there and wonder if someone is getting cold feet or what?

sarahufl

I am a huge stickler for time. My invite said 3pm and our bridal party was processing at 3pm. I get places 10-15 minutes early- so what, I want to sit in your church for an hour while I wait for you to get there? No.

That said, I think it may be a tad of a "know your crowd" thing. My friend is Cuban. Marrying a Cuban guy. Cubans are known for being late to things (not in a derogatory manner, so don't get upset! - my experience is that they own that fact). Her invite says 4 but they don't plan to start till 4:30 knowing that people will be late. While I still think it is horribly rude, I understand her not wanting over half their guest list to miss the ceremony.

futuremrsr2015

I don't remember being a wedding that didn't start on time or was more than 10 minutes late which does not bother me.

At my Mom's wedding the priest actually told her that no bride is ever on time, she was like we'll I'll be your first.  Sure enough we get to the church and are waiting to start and a couple guest showed up after us,  I'm pretty sure we started on time or within 5 minutes of it. 

melbenso

The only wedding I have ever been to that didn't start within 5 minutes of the start time started 45 minutes late because the musicians for the wedding were late.  And the father of the groom came out and made a very apologetic announcement, letting guests know what was going on, about 10 minutes after the start time.

thisismynickname2

I am incredibly punctual and most of our friends and family are too.  However, FI is worried about people being late and has asked me to delay things just in case. Early in the planning process he thought we should put a fake start time on there. I said absolutely not because it's disrepectful to all the punctual people. If people cannot show up somewhere on time it's THEIR fault! I am NOT accommodating those jerks.

I also said, "The later we start, the less drinking we do." That got him.

His mom apparently said, "Is it actually starting at six?"  YES.

If people have to sneak in while we're saying vows I seriously don't care. It's on them, not me.

I went to one wedding that started 20 minutes late and we got rained on. (Had it started on time, we wouldn't have been rained on.) We could see the entire bridal party standing in the back and the person who turned out to be the officiant was talking to them. Apparently they rehearsed things all wrong and the officiant was trying to re-do everything. We were less than pleased, but oh well.

Kauris

A friend of mine was an hour late to her own wedding and people were pissed. I was in the WP and I was annoyed, she blames it on being Brazilian. I don't care who or what you are, more than 15 min. is ridiculous.

APDSS22

Our wedding started on time.  The more time I have to sit around waiting, the more irritated I get.  Especially if outside.  I don't like being outside normally, make me wait for you because you wanted your friend Always Late Ernie to see the whole ceremony and I might just get pissed off. 

I don't get why someone would want to punish their guests who can be polite and on time for the sake of a few rude ones who can't be bothered to show up when they're supposed to.  If there's a legitimate emergency that the bridal party knows about, there should probably be an announcement.  Your second cousin not remembering to gas up his car or pick up his suit from the cleaners is not an emergency and unless he's your officiant, I have no idea why you'd wait for him while making everyone else sit around.

(Sorry about the rantiness, punctuality is where I draw my line.)

beethery

My whole deal is that shit is starting at 5. If you can not be a fucking grown up and be seated and ready for 5, you done fucked up on your own, and if you miss anything, it's on you.

OliveOilsMom

I arrived to the church 10 minutes early. The priest who was marrying us was also my high school religion teacher. During our last meeting he told me I would get detention if I were late to the wedding! So we started on time! While standing with my dad two guests came in and stayed back until I was down the aisle. I'm not sure if anyone else was late though. _____________________________________________________________________________________ I was in a wedding that started very late (at least 30 minutes). I've told this story before, but MOB was an over controlling bitch! The flowers arrived "wrong". So MOB sent them back to the florist to be fixed. But the florists' shop was 30 mins away - one way. So we waited as long as we could before boarding the trolley to the church. The church is 5 minutes away. So we get there and MOB is adament we will not start until we get these fixed flowers. _____________________________________________________________________________________ The priest is scowling at us from inside the church. We are trying to keep light conversation in the trolley to keep the bride happy while MOB calls the florist every 2 minutes. FOB goes to talk to the priest. He comes back and says if we don't start in the next 10 minutes, he can't do the ceremony because it will run into confession. MOB goes "CONFESSION CAN WAIT!". Silence fell across the trolley and there was not even a drop of booze to drink! _____________________________________________________________________________________ We continue waiting. Eventually FOB comes back again and says we just have to start without the flowers. So we exit the trolley and line up in the foyer of the church. The first BM was literally about to take her first step when the florist bursts through the door! So quickly bouquets are handed out and we marched. I was the 2nd to walk down and just as I'm about to start, the bride goes, how do the flowers look and her sister (another BM) responds - they look like crap. So yeah, good times.

RebeccaFlower

Story time- I was waiting in the car at 3:58 for our 4:00 ceremony to walk through the church doors. At 4:00 I got out of the car and a family (H's family friends who I don't love) were outside leisurely walking in and I couldn't help but think in my head 'hurry the fuck up, I'm here and ready people!' The mom was shocked I was there perfectly on time. 

Maggie0829

beethery said:

My whole deal is that shit is starting at 5. If you can not be a fucking grown up and be seated and ready for 5, you done fucked up on your own, and if you miss anything, it's on you.

So much this. I know some of our guests missed our ceremony because they were running late. Not my problem and your loss.

kraccoon

Punctuality is a god to me and I don't understand why someone would show up late to anything, particularly a wedding.  (Barring, obviously, major unforeseen circumstances.  Cause hey, life happens.)  My fiancee's cousin had the wedding start time listed for 10:30, but when we got in the programs had the actual start time 11:00.  While I normally would be pissed at such a thing, I was actually relieved because I showed up with the fiancee's family at exactly 10:30 and was having a mini-meltdown inside my head about arriving at that time to the wedding.  Punctuality has always been super important to me and my family and I'm rather nervous about his family showing up late to our wedding.

photokitty

The large majority of wedding I have attended have been Catholic weddings, so while you might have to suffer a rude as hell gap, they always start within 10 mins of the scheduled time. Any more than that the priest is not going to marry you...see all the "valid" reasons SS brides give to justify having a gap to understand why they can't start late - Mass, doubled booked, etc.

sarahufl

photokitty said:

The large majority of wedding I have attended have been Catholic weddings, so while you might have to suffer a rude as hell gap, they always start within 10 mins of the scheduled time. Any more than that the priest is not going to marry you...see all the "valid" reasons SS brides give to justify having a gap to understand why they can't start late - Mass, doubled booked, etc.

I didn't have a gap at my Catholic wedding AND we started on time